


Mahal Forsake Me To Join This Quest, I Know Not Why.

by tyomawrites



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, hobbit - Fandom
Genre: BAMF Bilbo, Because my OC has superpowers, Bofur is amazing, Drinking Games, Dwalin is protective, Dwarves and their drinking games, F/M, Half Dwarf/Half Elf, I have no idea, In which Thorin is literally in love, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Legolas is like a baby, Multi, My OC can drink better than dwarves and Thranduil, Ori's secretly a BAMF, Parent Thranduil, Party King Thranduil, Secret Relationships, That's Enough Tags, That's amazing to see, The dwarves are all BAMF in their own way, This is probably going to be 25 chapters long, Thorin is being lied to, Thranduil dates the main character, because, lots of flashbacks, so so protective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 06:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 52,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1294735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyomawrites/pseuds/tyomawrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Queen who ran away from her coronation day to fight for the kingdom she will rule. A Dwarf prince, 12 other dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard on a quest to reclaim a homeland stolen by a dragon. An Elven King who tries to stop the one he loves from getting herself killed.</p><p>Tharwen is a queen of the Tharkens, they live in the North Tharkeen, an unknown place in Middle Earth where only most elves know about. She runs into Thorin Oakenshield when trying to protect the borders of her kingdom. How does she react when she gets pulled onto the damned quest to reclaim Erebor, while hiding her past behind a smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this Idea in December.  
> Posted it on Fanfiction.net in January.  
> Now it's pretty damn long and I'll update every Saturday.  
> I hope you enjoy this.

When Bilbo Baggins sat down for dinner that night he was not suspecting that 13 dwaves and Gandalf would come bustling in and emptying out his pantry as if they owned the place, not at all. But they did and it happened. Dear me, if any off the Sackville-Bagginses had seen that, what a fright it would've been.

No he did not want to disappoint the dwarves, so he let them pillage his pantry, stack and clean his dishes, sing such a solemn hym infront of his fire place, but no, he could not turn down the Tookish side of him which was drawn to the haunting sapphire blue eyes that glanced at him in utter annoyance.

Bilbo Baggins of BagEnd promised to himself that he would not let anything, anything, stop him from helping the dwarves reclaim their homeland.

 

* * *

 

 

Then, the next morning he ran out off his door, down the footpaths and over fence off onto and adventure.

 

* * *

 

 

"I signed it!" He exclaimed, waving the contract like a banner, receiving heartful pats on the back, before passing the banner to Balin, who checked it once over and annouced to the company.

"It seems that everything is in order."

"Give him a pony!" Thorin ordered gruffly.

Bilbo was quite horrified, and began protesting.

"Arhh." He was lifted onto a pony by the scruff of his shoulders by Fili and Kili, who rode beside him.

"Wait! I forgot my handkerchief." He gasped.

Then he took note of the look of disbelief on Thorin's face and shrunk back.

Bofur tossed him a rag and they continued on.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bilbo couldn't sleep, Gloin's snoring was keeping him awake.

Getting up, quietly he made his way over to the ponies, Myrtle to be exact.

"Here you go Myrtle. This is between you and me, our little secret." He whispered.

A sharp peircing yowl broke through the silence and Bilbo practically pranced towards Fili and Kili, who were on watch.

"What was that?" He asked fearfully, eyes wide

"Orcs." Kili said carelessly, taking note off the terrified expression on the little hobbits face.

"Orcs?!" He repeated at a much higher pitch, causing Thorin to stir from a light sleep next to the group.

Thorin sat up and listened closely to the conversation that his nephews were having with the hobbit.

"There'll be dozens of them out there."

"Aye, the lowlands are crawling with them." Fili joined in as Bilbo's eyes grew wider.

"The come in the middle of the night, quick and quiet, no screams just blood." Kili said, lifting his pipe to his lips.

As Bilbo looked around the company fearfully, Kili and Fili turned their heads to hide their snickers and smiles.

"You think that its funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke!" Thorin scolded, his tone harsh and expression solemn.

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili said softly, head falling in shame.

"No you didn't, you know nothing off the world." Thorin chastised gruffly.

He walked off to the ponies, staring over the trees.

"Don't mind him laddie, Thorin just has more cause to hate Orcs." Balin said from next to the four.

"After the dragon attacked Erebor, Thrain, Thorin's father, tried to reclaim the Ancient Dwarf Kingdom of Moria, but our enemy had gotten there first. Moria was taken, by legions of orcs, led by the leader of their race, Azog the Defiler, The Pale Orc. Azog had sworn to cut off the line off Durin, he began by beheading the king."

Thorin stood unwavered at the edge of the outcrop as Balin told of The Battle of Moria.

"We were leaderless, death was upon us, that's when I saw him, a young dwarf prince facing down the giant Gundabarg Orc, his armour rent, wearing nothing but and Oaken branch as a shield."

Most of the company was awake now, staring at Thorin in awe, and respect.

"And that is when I thought to myself, there is one I could follow, there is one I could call, king." Thorin turned and noticed as the entire company stood before him with respect, with loyalty, with honour and wiling heart.

Thorin walked back through the crowd and back to his place on the protruding next to the fire.

"And the Pale Orc, what happened to him?" Bilbo asked, slightly more relaxed but still worried.

"That filth!" Thorin spat. "Slunk back into the hole whence he came, he died of his wounds long ago."

Balin and Gandalf shared a look and Fili and Kili did not miss to catch it as their hobbit looked at Thorin, awe in his eyes, his eyes promising to help him.

Sleep was far away that night, as Bilbo Baggins replayed everything that had happened in his head since dinner with the dwarves, to this very moment.

"Loyalty, honour and willing heart." He heard Thorin say back in his hobbit hole.

'Willing heart indeed Thorin Oakenshield.' He thought to himself. 'Willing heart indeed.'

 

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Characters. Because new characters are the best :D  
> Tharkens are my own invention. Seriously. -__- Do not steal them, by all means borrow them with PERMISSION, but yeah.

Despite the rain that was pouring over them over them. Bilbo managed to keep in lightened spirits, that was until Dori set the mood for complaining to Gandalf.

"Mister Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori called from behind and Bilbo looked at Gandalf expectantly.

"It is raining master dwarf, and it will continue to do so until it is done. If you wish to change the weather you might have to find another wizard." Gandalf said.

"And are there any?" Bilbo asked.

"Any what?"

"Other wizards?"

"The greatest of our order is Samuran, the white. Next are the two blues, although I've quite forgotten their names. The last of our order is Radaghast, the brown."

"Is he a great wizard, or is he?" Bilbo hesitated. "More like you?"

Dori and Ori both stiffled their laughter as Gandalf looked quite offended at the question.

"He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others, he keeps a watchful eye over the woods to the East, and it's a good thing too, for   
always evil will look for a foot hold in his world." Gandalf warned.

There were rustles and crashes and a rider burst through the bushes to the right off the company, drenched, hood pulled over the riders head. Their horse reared and they stopped infront of the company.

"Mekh'at! Du behkar!" Thorin shouted.

"Stop! I mean no harm!" The rider shouted.

"Who are you, show your face!" Thorin ordered.

The rider dismounted and knelt bowing, head down low.

"I am Tharwen, daughter of Karin, I do not wish any harm to any of your company." She said, hood falling from her head as she stood.

"Tharwen?" Both Gandalf and Bilbo said, quite shocked.

"Ah, Mister Gandalf, and my Master Bilbo it has been a long time I might say." Tharwen said, glancing cautiously at Thorin.

"Thorin Oakenshield, may I introduce you to Tharwen Karewin. One of the last of the Tharken, protecter off these parts. Tharwen, may I introduce you to Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror."

"Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain. Tharwen Karewin, at your service."

"Thorin Oakenshield, at yours." Thorin said gruffly.

Whispers passed through the company, as Tharwen moved to Gandalfs side.

"Gandalf, why are there orcs, coming so close to these parts?" She hissed.

"Well that may be us, we're merely-"

"No excuses Gandalf, move on before I make you, there have never been any orc attacks since," She hesitated. "Since Fharwen and Darien. And we all   
know what happened then! Leave these parts." She growled.

"Gandalf! We should either move on or make for shelter." Thorin said.

"Listen to the dwarf and go." She warned and turned to make leave.

"Don't leave Tharwen, I don't think I could stand these dwarves much longer." Bilbo pleaded, pulling on Tharwens cloak sleeve.

"I can see why." She muttered, plonking onto the hard stone next to Bilbo, wringing the water out of her dark hair.

"Insufferable, annoying, inconsiderate, disastrous dwarves." She huffed.

There were twin thumps as the two princes joined the two sitting on the ground.

"Fili, and Kili, at your service." The two said smiling.

"Nice to meet you both."

"So, how do you know Master Bilbo?"

"How old are you?"

"Have you been to Erid Luin?"

"Are you princess?"

"Have you been courted yet?"

Kili got an elbow to the ribs as Fili gave him a disappointing glance.

"I've known Bilbo since he was a fauntling, I'm sure it's rude to ask that, even if you both are princes, yes I have been to Erid Luin, it could be seen like I   
am a princess, not what I'm called, but close enough in the common tongue, and no Master Dwarf, I am not being courted, there have been offers, but I am simply not interested anymore." She said and Kili's face went bright red in embarrassment.

"How did you know we were princes?" Fili asked.

"I know the Durin crest when I see it, I also know the Durin bead when I see it as well." She said carelessly.

"Tharwen pleaseee, answer my question pleasee?" Bilbo asked, pleadingly.

"Oh fine Bilbo, I will."

"Thank you."

 

"Getting tired off our company already Bilbo?" Fili asked.

"Just nice to see someone familiar."

"Can you tell me more stories of the Tharken?" Bilbo asked. "Like when I was younger?"

"Of course Bilbo. Now the one about the Tharken prince who betrayed his brother, or the Tharken warriors, The Battle against Dhearow?" She asked.

"The Tharken prince of course, I never found out the ending." Bilbo said, wrapping a blanket around him as the two princes both cuddled together   
against the rocky wall next to Bilbo."

"The Tharkens were awaiting another coronation day, their king, King Harien, a girlish name I know, was stepping down, so his eldest son could become king. Prince Warren II, was a wonderful prince, now since Tharkens are decendents from both Dwarvish and Elvish ancestors, their looks were quite stunning, long dark rivalling hair that flowed down to his waist in intricate braids. His azure eyes capturing the light as it shone through the day. Now the prince was bound to have a princess, but Prince Warren did not, for his consort, was his younger brother, Prince Karren III, they were simply and utterly in love. But it did not work to their favour, Tharkens have nothing against love formed through bonds in family, they excepted it infact, with open arms, but for Warren to become king, Karren could not be allowed next in line to the throne if he was to be his consort."

"But that's not fair!" Kili pointed out.

"Indeed it isn't my dear prince. But it was what it was. As I said, Karren could not be the next heir and he was jealous, very jealous, he ran off in the middle off the night when the announcement came, envious, jealous, anger and his brothers pity only fueled his raging temper. He'd join forces with the orcs and tried to kill his own brother on his own coronation day."

"What?! But that's cruel!" Fili interrupted this time.

Tharwen only glared at Fili before continuing without a stumble.

"Warren saw Karren fighting through the crowd and he ran too meet him with his sword, screaming, pleading with Karren to stop this madness. Orcs had aimed their arrows from the highest vantage points, on the eastern towers of the castle. Their arrows let fly and instead of Karren using the distraction to his advantage, he flung himself infront of Warren, arrows piercing his back, they didn't kill Karren, not instantly, but the howls and cires of Warren stilled the fighting around them as both Orcs and Tharkens watched as the soon too be king, knelt on the ground holding his brother, his loves head in his lap, cradling it and Karren apologised, over and over again, begging for forgiveness, Warren did, he did forgive, he forgave Karren with one last kiss, whispering words of comfort to the dying prince."

"So his brother died? That's unfair!" This time it wasn't any of the three who interrupted but Bofur, who seemed to be listening to the story as well.

"Let me finish! Now what Warren didn't see was the mark on Karrens right forearm, this mark was a branding, the sign off darkness. Tharkens do not fear many things, but brandings of the Kiz'lan were one off the few we did. Kiz'lan were, dark forces, they ruled over all things evil, and being branded was, was to have your mind entered, every memory tainted, spoilt to the worst of nightmares. The prince only noticed the mark as he looked up from his brothers necklace, one that he'd given at the start of their courting, and he shook violently as the tears fell faster, as if there was already no end to his grief."

Tharwen looked solemn as she paused, looking at the four faces that stared in awe and tragedy.

"A king cannot ruled to the fullest of his wonder with his mind consumed by grief, but still, King Warren II, son of Harien, had sworn to avenge his brother and keep his kin, and any other kin that knew the Kiz'lans wrath, safe. King Warren died not long after his coronation, at such a young age too, but his cousin, Dairen I, became king, and took over what Warren had started, a beautiful, proud, kingdom of warriors. The two brothers, lovers, lay side by side in their tombs, buried together, their stone coffins engraved with their courting vows. They both held a love so deeply, Aule help them if they were not to be admired. They're love was all that mattered to them, even Karren, with bitterness invading his mind, rests peacefully in the tombs of Tharthen."

Tharwen turned and saw that most off the company was infact listening to the story she had told, including Thorin.

"Didn't you mention someone called Darien to Gandalf earlier?" Kili asked before Fili could stop him.

"Aye, that, would be my younger brother. Darien IV he was named after King Darien, the one I mentioned in the story..." She lowered her head.

"Shouldn't you be with family instead of out here? Lady Tharwen." Balin asked from the side.

"If I, never mind, Fharwen can fend for himself, he is my older brother after all, and as Gandalf would know, a skilled swordsman."

"Tharkens are descendants of both Elves and Dwarves? What are your Elvish features?" Ori asked, realizing the topic was quite uncomfortable for the Tharken therefore switching the subject.

"Pointy ears for one, our height is another, our poker faces, that's mainly it, besides from speaking many languages. Our Dwarvish side is much more noticeable although majority did inherit Dwarvish tempers, but we're warriors, craftsman, we're light on our feet and like Elves we have the ability to walk on snow. Many other things Master Dwarf, perhaps you'll be interested in books from the Tharken libraries, instead off hearing my voice. As annoying as it is, I think I'll shut up." Tharwen said, moving to her horse.

"Back to work, come on Bombur we're hungry!" Thorin ordered and Tharwen sat back in her place next to Bilbo, holding an amulet in her hand.

"Keep this safe Bilbo Baggins, this was made for you and you alone, it was not made for any dwarves and it shall keep you safe." She warned.

"Thank you Tharwen."

"Now get some rest Bilbo." She said, nudging the hobbit playfully.

"Gandalf you bastard of a wizard!" The sharp shriek shook the company awake, including Nori who fell asleep on watch.

"What?" Thorin had half drawn the Orcrist when he realised that it was only Tharwen, now cursing an absent Gandalf.

"Blasted no good, meddling ith'kun var no hasth'roth gah!" She muttered.

"Milady, what is the matter?" Dwalin came over to observe the now very annoyed Tharken.

"I swear on the tombs of Tharthan I'll kill that ith'kun var no wizard!"

"Gandalf, why?"

"Master Dwalin," She said. "Gandalf, it seems has taken about all of my maps, anything that would have made your journey easier, and well, my pack. is now. empty." She said, dropping the empty pack to the floor and kicking it.

"Why would Gandalf?" Thorin questioned.

"Because he's a wizard that meddles where it's unnecessary." She grumbled before checking the pack on the other side of her horse.

"Still here, at least he did not mess with the rest of my stuff."

"The rest of your?- woah!" Fili and Kili said, peering into the pack. "Weapons galore! Tharwen, you have to let me look at these." Fili exclaimed, eyes gleaming.

"Not now." Thorin said, moving to the closer to the centre of the comotion. "We have to get moving."

"Right." Tharwen gave Bilbo a glance as if to say 'do I really have to be here?'

'You promised' he mouthed to her and her shoulders slumped.

"Milady, will you be joining us?" Dwalin asked curiously.

"It seems I might have to." She said, unfolding a piece of parchment.

'My dear Tharwen,

I am asking you, as a friend that you acompany my companians to the Hidden Pass, or at least to the foot off the Lonely Mountains, please stay with them, and look out for that hot headed fool of a dwarf Thorin.

Yours dearly,  
Gandalf.'

Dwalin read the note over her shoulder and chuckled at the mention of Thorin.

"Then welcome to the company lassie." Bofur said with a hearty grin.

'Oh welcome indeed.' Thorin thought as he watched Tharwen move through the company as if she was there from the start.

No he did not trust her, if there was some elvish blood in here then no, she was not to be trusted. At least not yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, I've got most of this written up anyways, so I'll be uploading quickly.

Gandalf had returned not too long after the company, including Tharwen, had packed up camp and set out to continue their journey. It was amusing to say he recieved quite and earful from Tharwen, much to Thorins dislike, she seemed to have a ranking much closer to the wizards.

"Do not go through my things ever again Gandalf! Ever!" The company caught the last few strands of their conversation.

"It was merely for-"

"Merely for academic purposes, you've said that five times now!"

"Tharwen..."

"Don't Tharwen me, last time you meddled and brought the Tharken into matters of other kin, Fharwen went blind and we lost Darien, I lost my baby brother."

Kili and Fili looked down feeling bad for evesdropping.

"Do you want Fharwen to lose me, you want me to stay, yes for Bilbos sake, really that. No! Gandalf no! No way in hell I'm staying with a bunch off insufferable dwarves. Now don't give me that look I know what you're thinking. My answer is clear, to the mountain and no further." They heard her protest.

"Laddie, best not to let her know we heard." Balin said. "It's not her choice she's here, don't blame her for anything."

Tharwen had dropped back to the rear of the group away from Gandalf with a scowl fixed on her face and a glare that put Thorins to shame.

"Tharwen, I'm sorry about Fharwen and Darien." Bilbo said gently.

"You heard?" She sounded and looked tired.

"Yes." He offered her a shy smile and the glare faded.

"How's Fharwen coping?"

"He's trying to take up archery but there's not many who want to teach him, I reckon they're scared of the lad. He is quite frightening. I remember, you got so scared, you hid behind my legs for a good hour before calming down." Tharwen gave a small ,chuckle.

"Lad and lass." Bofur said, giving a nod to them both.

"We're not formally introduced, I'm Bofur milady." Bofur pressed a kiss to her knuckles from his ponie as they shook hands and Tharwen let out a giggle.

"Such a gentleman Master Bofur, it's a pleasure to meet you." Tharwen smiled. " I'd curtsie, but, I seem to be on a horse."

Bofur laughed at the comment and gave the two a large grin.

"So lady Tharwen, what do Tharkens do?" Bofur asked, riding next to the two.

"To be honest, we're trained to be warriors as children, then, then we go on with whatever we chose, I'm still a warrior among my people, but I do work as a blacksmith from time to time. Majority live among the elves, fighting alongside them, as healers and warriors. You'll hardly find us among dwarves. No offense. My brother, Fharwen, is a warrior, captain guard, my uh- younger brother, Darien, uh, followed my brother to... he went along on a patrol around the borders of our lands, and orc ambush cost their party the loss of three lives, Darien and two others." She stopped speaking. "Tharkens usually leave when they're about 100 years of age, because they can fend for themselves, so many off us stay in trades we already know, fighting, smithing, becomming scribes, there are a few criminals among each Tharken clan, but it's to be expected, with many traitors among Tharkens, usually those siding with the Sindarians. Leaving their own for foolish promises of treasures and useless gold!" She spat the last word in disgust and Bofur looked utterly mortified.

"How is gold useless?" Bofur asked.

"Gold, tore the Tharkens apart, I've never forget the pain it has caused. It brings misery and pain, bitterness in the mind, not even the strongest off wariors can resist it's foolish promises. That useless yellow rock brings death, decay and destruction. Just look at-" Tharwen's jaw snapped shut and she looked away. "Look ignore me, gold and I don't mix, we don't care for it, we prefer silver and gems in all, I mean, I have a dagger made of quartz and another off diamond. All for looks, but they do well enough in battle. Silver is all for our courting, gold is only served for royalty. And even the royal line doesn't appreciate gold."

"Gold is the finest of our craftmanship. Lady Tharwen, if you do not appreciate it, why have you not left?" Thorin's voice came and Tharwens gaze turned hateful.

"A meddling wizard, a hobbit who undoubtedly pulls the cutest pair off puppy dog eyes when I mention leaving and a gentleman of a dwarf whose kindness and personality I appreciate Thorin Oakenshield, I knew your grandfather when he was King under the Mountain when my father had to pay just like everyone else. I know what happens because of gold, is associated with the likes of you!"

With that, the company moved on with whispers and chats among groups.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"We shall make camp here. " Thorin concluded.

"I think, it would be wiser to press on." Gandalf advised. "We could make for the hidden Valley. Lord Elrond could help us."

"I will not seek help from our enemy!"

"They are not your enemies Thorin Oakenshield, I did not give you that map and that key to hold onto the past."

"I did not know they were yours to keep." Thorin spat.

As Gandalf stomped away from Thorin muttering and grumbling about insufferable dwarves.

"Wait where are you going?" Bilbo made his bunny face at Gandalf who stormed past.

"To seek the company off the only one here who has any sense!" He huffed.

"And who's that?" Bilbo asked innocently.

"Myself! Mister Baggins!" Gandalf snapped before leaving them.

"Where is he going?" Bilbo asked frantically.

"I don't know Bilbo, I don't know." Tharwen muttered shaking her head.

"Come on Bombur, we're hungry!" Thorin growled and the group broke to set up camp.

"So Tharwen," Bofur began, moving next to the Tharken who was helping Bombur hand out the food. "I heard from the lads you were a princess off sorts. What's a beautiful princess like you doing here?"

"Oh Master Bofur, such kind words, really, I'm next in line for a throne, although it's not a big deal, my brother chose not to rule, I'm next in line, well, the story I told you about the two princes, beilieve it or not, they're my ancestors from an age ago. I am next in line to the throne, but I am not so much as ready to rule as my brother thinks."

"Wel I'd say, even just from meeting you and knowing you for this short time Lady Tharwen, you'd make a marvellous queen." Bofur complimented.

"Thank you Master Bofur, you're kindness is one off many great gifts you possess."

"Enough of this Master business, Milady, just call me Bofur." He offered.

"Only if you leave out the Lady then." She grinned cheekily and Bofur smiled widely.

"Will do."

Bofur then turned to shove two bowls off stew in Bilbos hands and ushering him off to take them to the princes.

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Bilbo... Trolls HELP!" The two princes yell bursting through the shrubs and bushes

"What? Both off you tell us what happened?"

Before Fili could say anything, Kili ran back in the direction they came screaming "We're coming Bilbo!"

"Bilbo went to go get the ponies back from three trolls." Fili said quickly.

"Let's go before Kili tries to do it singlehandedly. " Dwalin said.

The company crept through, not wanting to alert the trolls when they spotted Kilk facing the trolls sword in hand.

"Drop him!" Kili yelled.

"You wut?" A troll stared in disbelief.

"I said, drop him!" Kili ordered.

Thorin looked like he was about to impale himself on his sword.

Tharwen noticed Bilbo hanging from the grasp of two trolls.

Then he was flying through the air and Kili dropped his sword and caught him.

Thats when Thorin had taken to yelling a war cry and charging into battle.

Tharwen could see Bilbo out off the corner off her eye as she pushed Ori out of the way of an oncoming troll hand and got picked up by her hair.

"Put me down you ugly piece of troll!" She shrieked and began stabbing and slashing at the trolls face.

Nori and Bofur, being the closest automatically coming to her aid.

"You okay lass?"Bofur asked as both him and Nori helped her up.

"Fine, I'm fine... just fine..." She muttered.

The three turned at the sound aff Kili yelling.

"Bilbo!"

It took Bifur, Bofur and Nori to hold Tharwen back as the trolls threathened to rip Bilbos arms off.

"Fine." She spat, throwing down her sword with a huff indignantly.

Thorin looked at Bilbo, back at Tharwen, who was now being picked up and being showed into a sack almost without protest. Nori, Bofur and Dwalin snickered at the curses that Tharwen let escape her mouth while Dori covered Ori's ears. Thorin stabbed his sword into the dirt and the rest off the company followed in suit.

'I'm in a sack... a sack!' Thorin thought as he glare venomously at the three trolls who were now cooking half the company over the fire.

"Wait, you're making a terrible mistake. " Bilbo said, struggling to stand in his sack.

"You can't reason with them they're halfwits!" Dori shouted from the spit.

"Halfwits!? What does that make us!?" Bofur yelled indignantly, wriggling against the ropes that tied him onto the spit.

"You wat?"

"Well, have smelt them, you're gonna need something stronger than sage to plate this lot up." Bilbo said, jerking his head in the direction off the dwarves.

"Traitor!" They company yelled, wriggling around in their sacks.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" A troll asked.

"Well the secret to cooking dwarf is..." Bilbo paused before blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "Skin them first!"

"What!?"

"You traitor."

"There's nothing wrong with a bit off raw dwarf." Another troll, Bert, said, picking up Bombur from the pile of dwarves.

"Wait don't eat that one he's infected... he's got worms in his tubes!" He blurted.

The troll dropped Bombur with aheavy thud and Bilbo continued speaking.

"Parasites?"

"Did he say we have parasites?"

"We don't have parasites!" Kili yelled quite hurt looking. "You have parasites!"

There was a swift thud and Tharwen say Thorin giving the company glares. 'Come on Thorin, get the message through them.'

"I have parasites as big as my arm!" Dori yelled.

"I HAVE THE BIGGEST PARASITES OF ALL!" Kili shouted from where he was.

"In fact they all have it's a terrible business, I wouldn't risk it." Bilbo added.

"What would you have us do then, let them all go?"

"Get on with it, this little ferret is taking us for fools!"

"Ferret?" Bilbo sputtered.

"Fools?" Tom, a troll said in disbelief.

"And dawn shall take you all!" Gandalf announced, breaking a large boulder clean in half with his staff.

 

* * *

 

 

 

"He had the nouse to play for time, it's a wonder no one in your company managed to do that." Gandalf said to Thorin.

Tharwen watched as Thorin sent distasteful glances towards her and followed Nori and Bofur into the trolls hoard.

She picked up a few small daggers and knives, watching as Gandalf and Thorin discussed two swords they'd found.

"Let's get out off here." Thorin ordered and they marched out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Rhadaghast the Brown.
> 
> Nori and Bofur are kindly souls.
> 
> If you think about it.

Tharwen sat between Bofur and Nori, as the other sat together away from the trio, Bofur and Nori attempted to include Tharwen into conversations.

Tharwen was content with staying away from the group as it is, she'd heard Thorin discussing her presence with Dwalin, was she really that bad, just by having elf blood in her?

* * *

 

"Would you still be here, if the wizard didn't say anything?" Bofur asked.

"I don't really know, I have nothing to go back too besides my brother, my father and mother are both dead, my younger brother is dead."

"No Tharken lad back at home? Lady like you must have men, elves and such all falling at your feet." Nori asked.

"There's many that do, but, my heart has spoken, it spoke long ago."

"Whose the lucky one?" Bofur asked.

"He passed into The Tharthan Hall of the Dead. My husband died against the Kiz'lan a few months ago." She said, twisting the ring around her index finger.

Bofur and Nori lowered their heads.

"We're sorry lass."

Tharwen waved her hand in dismissal.

"Wasn't your fault."

"Was that the ring the laddie gave ya?" Nori asked, noticing the silver ring on her middle finger.

"Aye, he crafted it for me, night before our engagement, my father wasn't happy when he found out." Tharwen let out a small chuckle. "But he learnt to accept Dharwen for who he was."

"What are the arrows for?" Bofur asked, earning a swipe at the back of his head from Nori.

"Don't be insensitive!" He hissed, looking apologetically at Tharwen.

"No, no, it's fine, really... Eight arrows for eight promises."

"Can I ask, what were they?" Bofur asked, earning another swipe which he ducked.

"Nori." She scolded. "I'll tell you both, just don't repeat this too the rest off them. I love you, I'll protect you, I'll protect our family, I'll protect the crown, I'll treasure our moments, I'll stay loyal to you, I'll never give up in battle, and I'll always come back to you." Tharwen sniffed at the last promise.

"Darling, it'll be alright, you'll see him again." Blfur said.

"In about 4000 years." She looked at Bofur sceptically.

"But you'll still see him."

She nodded.

* * *

 

 

 

There was rustling and the sound off branches breaking and Thorin yelled.

"Close ranks!" Bofur grabbed Bilbo, who was holding a sword, into the centre off the huddle and the group closed into a tight circle only to face... rabbits? and a wizard? a wizard on a sled? pulled by rabbits?

"What?" Tharwen asked, staring at Rhadaghast.

"Rhadaghast the brown" Gandalf announced.

Tharwen slumped her shoulders and leaned against the boulder next to the entrance off the cave hoard.

Gandalf and Rhadaghast slipped further away from the company and were discussing something he'd brought out that was cloth bound.

"Tharwen, do yer think you'll find love among the company?" Bofur asked in a whisper as she watched Gandalf's moments.

Tharwen's eyes fell onto the dwarfs, lingering over the ones that included her into the group, Kili, Fili, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, Dwalin, and she found her gaze lingering on Thorin, although he'd done nothing to include her.

"Maybe my friend, maybe."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because Tharkens have to have their own language that I swear to god was impossible to remember.

"Warg scouts! We have to leave." Thorin ordered.

"We can't the ponies have bolted!" Ori said, running into the clearing.

"Who did you tell off your quest besides your kin?" Gandalf asked, going on the offensive.

"No one." Thorin growled.

"Who did you tell?" He seemed more persistent.

"NO ONE I SWEAR! What's going on?" Thorin's eyes held a heavy look.

"You are being hunted." Gandalf said, and half the company let out a groan of disappointment.

"I'll draw them off!" Rhadaghast announced.

"These are Gundabarg wargs, they'll out run you." Gandal protested and Tharwen stared on in disbelief.

"These are Rhosgobel rabbits, I'd like to see them try." He gave a wicked grin and sped off leading the wargs away.

'Nope, not a good day to run.' Tharwen thought as she ran with the company.

"This way!" Gandalf ordered as they ran from the rock they hid behind.

"Where are you leading us?" Thorin asked suspiciously from next to Gandalf.

When Gandalf did not reply to his question he sent silent glares at his back.

Tharwen knew why the dwarf was so mistrustful, but yet, for a wizard like Gandalf. 'Does he not have any sense?' She wondered, running after Gandalf, who had taken off to the direction off the Hidden Pass.

* * *

 

 

 

 

"There's more coming!" Fili alerted the others.

"We're surrounded!" Bofur yelled.

"Where's Gandalf?!" Dwalin asked roughly, turning around watching the orcs draw closer.

"He's abandoned us!" Gloin growled angrily.

"KILI! SHOOT THEM!" Thorin screamed.

Fili twisted and turned to keep an eye on the oncomming wargs.

Tharwen drew her twin short swords and looked around at the dwarves.

"This way you fools!" Gandalf cried, he was at the Hidden Pass.

'Well no need for name calling.' Tharwen bit back a sarcastic remark.

"Run!" She said, trying to get the others attention.

The others ran for the Hidden Pass, Tharwen drew a few daggers and threw them at the wargs, hitting one dead in the eye. It howled and charged straight at her.

"Oh crap!" She scrambled back and tripped over a rock that jut out from the ground.

"THARWEN!" Fili shouted, seeing what happened as he turned to look back.

The warg lunged and she slashed at it's face. It drew back quickly and let out a yowl as another sword slash into it's neck, then it's riders.

"Get up!" Thorin yelled, grabbing her arm and hoisting her up.

"KILI!" Thorin yelled and the lad came running to the hidden pass.

"You alright?" Bilbo asked worried.

"Yeah, fine." She said, rubbing her shoulder. "Just fine."

"Your shoulder." He said, moving towards Oin.

"Nope, come here Bilbo." She grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "You don't tell anyone about this, it's an old injury, just flared up again. Leave it be and it'll be fine."

"But.."

"But nothing Bilbo." She said, closing her eyes, pinching the bridge off her nose.

"Fine. Just get it looked at, for me?" Bilbo pleaded.

"What ever, follow the others." She said, pushing him after the rest off the company.

She felt the walls, running her hands over the stones and breathing in the smell only she could recognize. 'Smells like oak, some pipe weed, although that might be the dwarfs. The water, I can smell it... I can feel it flowing.' She thought

"The Valley of Imlardis." Gandalf said. "In the common tongue it's known by another name.."

"Rivendell." Bilbo breathed, just as Tharwen whispered something in a different tongue.

"Isha'kes-nith. The last Homely House to the East."

"You've been here before Tharwen. Do you remember?" Gandalf asked, before turning his attention to Thorin.

"Was this your plan all along? To seek refuge with our enemy." He accused.

"You have no enemies here Thorin Oakenshield. The only ill will to be found is the one you bring yourself." Gandalf rebuked.

Thorin huffed.

"Leave the talking to me, or Lady Tharwen." Gandalf warned and lead the group down to the gates.

An elf with long brown hair, walked down the steps to greet the company, Gandalf and Tharwen at the head off the group.

"Mirthrandir." An elf greeted them, hugging Gandalf.

"Ah Lindir."

" _We heard you crossed into the Valley."_ Lindir spoke in Elvish, Tharwen registering and translating the language in her head.

"Lady Tharwen." Lindir acknowledged. "Mellon nin. How are you?"

"Good thank you Lindir." She gave a nod.

"We must speak to Lord Elrond."

"My Lord Elrond is not here." Lindir said, giving Tharwen a sneaky glance.

"And where is he?" Gandalf asked, catching the glance.

A horn sounded and a group of elves, on horses, paraded in. Causing the dwarves to close ranks, separating Loki and Gandalf from the rest of them.

"Mirthrandir." Lord Elrond said, getting down from his horse, 'least they don't ride elks like Thranduil does' Thorin thought as he watched Lord Elrond hug Gandalf.

"Mellon nin."Gandalf said, in a small bow. "Wovin eth?"

"Faran el vlamos, thio lo dos haran, dagane farin una yeathewin." Elrond replied before turning to Tharwen and bowing slightly.

"Milady Tharwen, ion sell, it's good to see you titta mine." Lord Elrond gave Tharwen a hug before stepping back to look check Tharwen for injuries..

"Ada!" Twin yells came from behind the company and party of elves and two elves barrelled into Lord Elrond, clinging to him.

"Elladan, Elrohir. Get off me we have guests. You'll be happy to see who it is." He grumbled.

"Tharwen!" The two yelled and Tharwen was on the ground with two elves planting sloppy kisses on her face.

"Oi! Off you two! Ge'off! I'll cut off your hair you little prats!" Tharwen yelled thrashing under the weight off the two elfs.

Lord Elrond pulled Elladan and Elrohir off Tharwen by their hair and smacked them both on the shoulder.

"Behave." He warned, then helped Tharwen up.

"I hope your company will stay for dinner to replenish your supplies?" Elrond asked, looking from Gandalf to Tharwen, to Thorin.

"Of course." Gandalf replied.

"Tharwen your old room is still there if you want to stay." Elrond said. "Although I expect you'll be with Elladan, Elrohir and Lindir tonight."

Tharwen nodded and ran off will Elladan and Elrohir.

He said knowingly to Lindir. "Go with them, see that they don't break anything while they're at it have fun too Lindir."

Lindir nodded before turning and running after the three yelling. "Wait for me you little idiots!"

 

* * *

 

 

"No!" The company sat up as Tharwen and Lindir ran through the group, dodging the fire and too Tharwen's bedroll, pulling the blanket over their heads.

Elladan and Elrohir ran in, bare-chested and their hair now a bright green.

"Come here you little orcs!" Elladan said, tackling the two on the grounds and tickling them.

Elladan joined in the tickling mercilessly and Lindir began shrieking.

"Don't cut up our favourite tunics!"

"Don't dye our hair green!"

"And don't put make up on our faces and show half the guards!" They both said before Tharwen poked her head out from under the blanket.

"We surrender!" She said between gasps.

"Good." The twins said sitting back and panting. "We hate chasing you two around the place, you both are fast."

"Yeah cause we're younger than you two." Lindir said sticking his tongue out childishly.

"Only by a couple off centuries!" Elrohir protested.

"Four centuries to be exact." Tharwen said, ducking a small swipe to her head.

"Four off, you behave." Dwalin's gruff voice came from the side.

"We are." Tharwen retorted, dodging another swipe.

"Why do they get to have fun?" Kili whined.

"Yeah." Fili agreed with his brother.

"We could go dwarves vs elves?" Kili suggested and the green haired twins looked at him curiously.

"But we get Tharwen right?" Lindir asked.

"No fair! We want Tharwen on our side." Nori protested.

"Enough. I'm half dwarf, half elf, I'll be neutral." Tharwen said, and Lindir automatically latched onto one off her outstretched arm.

"Lindir." She warned.

Elladan and Elrohir latched onto her as well.

"Oh Eru save me, can someone get these prats off me?" She asked.

"Nope, you're on your own." Bofur said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine..." She scowled but then leaned against a pillar.

 

* * *

 

 

Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Bofur, Nori and Thorin were still awake. Tired, but awake.

"They're adorable." Dwalin admitted.

"I feel like a creep watching the four of them." Fili said.

"We're dwarves not creeps."

"Isn't this spying?" Kili asked.

"Not really, no, just,... keeping watch, that's it." Nori said.

"So spying on them."

"What are you all whispering about?" Thorin asked, his voice was pretty loud.

"Shh, they're asleep." Dwalin shushed.

"Who?" Thorin lowered his voice.

Dwalin pointed to Tharwen, Elladan, Elrohir and Lindir asleep in a tangle off limbs pressed against each other.

"Now I wanna cuddle." Bofur said.

"You have Bombur and Bifur." Kili pointed out.

"They don't like my hat!" He protested.

"Then go cuddle Nori or something." Fili said.

"Uh-huh no, I have enough with Dori trying." Nori argued.

 

* * *

 

 

"Mmm, Elladan." Tharwen groaned and hugged Elladan tighter than she had before.

Lindir had one hand mused in Elrohir's hair and another holding onto Elladan's arm while sandwhiching Tharwen and Elladan in between him and Elrohir, who had one hand on his brother's shoulder and another wrapped around Tharwen.

"You're more fond off her than you realize Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf said, causing Thorin to turn away from the sight off the four off them.

"What are you saying Gandalf?" Thorin narrowed his eyes.

"I'm saying your yearning is obvious Thorin Oakenshield. But I warn you, your feelings may not be returned."

"I have no feelings for her."

"You keep thinking that Thorin." Gandalf mused and left him be.

'What is it? It just draws me too you, is it that you have no care for us, that you have no love for gold, or is it the solemn look you have when Gloín talks about his wife and child. I want to know.' Thorin thinks as he returns his gaze to Tharwen, all snug, protectively cuddled by the three elves.

His thoughts began to wonder, back to what Lord Elrond had said.

_So that is your purpose, to enter the mountain?_

_There are some who would not deem it wise._

_You bring her into this, if she comes back with a single scratch, you'll feel the wrath of the House of Elrond, my woodland kin in the Mirkwood forest, the men who follow the Tharkens and the Tharkens themselves._

_If she dies, prepare for war, Thorin Oakenshield, against the Lonely Mountain._

_She has suffered more greatly in her life, she has lost everything that means something to her over what you now seek._

_Look after her Thorin Oakenshield, do not let her give her life when she has so much more to live for._

And he said to Gandalf, that someone else knew off their quest before it had been set in motion.

_You are not the only one to watch over middle earth._

'What have you lost?' Thorin wondered, and found himself reaching out, pulling back his hand, he turned over to face away from the three and let sleep take over him.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Elvish translations:

Mellon nin = my friend.

Wovin eth = where have you been?

Faran el vlamos, thio lo dos haran, dagane farin una yeathewin = We've been hunting a pack of orcs that came up from the south, we slew a number off them near the hidden pass.

Ion sell = My daughter.

titta mine = little one.

Ada = Father/Dad.

 

Tharken translations (note, these are my own thing):

Isha'kes-nith = Rivendell.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some swearing in this but... well, my character likes swearing. She is 5384 years old.

"No I do not need a babysitter. Thorin Oakenshield, I don't need a baby sitter." Tharwen protested.

"Yes you do, we're leaving tomorrow night and it won't help if you're off somewhere trapped under three elves." Thorin retorted.

"That was one time!"

"Actually, it was three." Bofur but in.

"Bofur. Not helping. Come on Thorin, you don't have to babysit me, get Lindir to do it, or Elladan and Elrohir, please, please, please I'll be good. I promise." Tharwen said, waking after Thorin.

"I think not, you'll run off and get into some mess which would slow us down." Thorin retorted.

"I'm like, older than you Thorin I'm not a child!"

"You said you were in Tharken years." Bofur said.

"Whose side are you on Bofur?" She grumbled.

"Thorin's." He replied.

"I don't understand why in the name of His-kahnerin I need as baby sitter!" Tharwen said.

"Because we don't trust 'em elves." Gloín said.

"I've known them for ages. I _trust_ them." She protested.

"We don't want you hanging around them lass." Nori said a bit more gently than the others.

"You're jealous aren't you, that I prefer their company more, for four days, you've tried your hardest to keep me away from them. Just GROW UP! You're like Dharwen, the lot off you, so damn protective!" She shouted, storming off to the corner.

"Who's Dharwen?" Thorin asked quietly.

"Her betrothed Thorin." Nori said, voice low.

"She's, oh Eru." Thorin sat down onto a ledge and buried his head in his hands.

"He's passed on Thorin." Bofur said softly.

"Mahal what's wrong with me?" He said, scrubbing his face with his hands.

He felt guilty, so guilty. He gone and reminded her.

Gloín felt worse, considering he had a wife and a son.

"Thorin, I think you should talk to her." Gloín said.

"Yea, lad, go talk to her, you might as well, she'll be on this quest 'til we reach the mountain, 'swhat Gandalf said." Bofur urged.

"I will."

"Good luck." Bofur called.

'The cheek off that dwarf!' Thorin thought as he made his was over to sit with Tharwen.

"Tharwen..."

"What do you want?" She sniffed, glaring up at him.

"I'm sorry for being protective. We care about you is all." He said awkwardly.

"Then trust me not to get hurt Thorin, I know these elves, they loved me longer than you've been alive."

"I...I just.. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Dh- Thorin." She caught herself. "I forgive you."

 

"Sneaking out has not been this easy since I was but only a child." Tharwen whispered to Nori and Bofur as they made their way out off Rivendell.

"Is it?" Nori said.

She nodded and laughed. The sun was beginning to set and she smiled at the sight off it.

"I love the sunset." She murmured.

"It reminds you off him?" Bofur asked.

She gave a small nod and they continued on.

 

"How many days has it been since we left?" Fili asked.

"3, we'll be nearing the misty mountains soon." Thorin replied, leading them upto a mountain pass.

 

"It's a thakin-dor is storm!" Tharwen grumbled.

"A what?" Kili asked.

"I'd rather not translate." She said.

"Curse words?" Nori wondered aloud.

"Yes."

"Keep moving! We need to find shelter!" Thorin ordered.

Tharwen cursed in tharkeen under her breath as she took note of one off the many things she hated.

Two words.

Stone. Giants.

Oh and thunderstorms of course.

The ledge they were on began to rise and they had realized that they were standing on a stone giant themselves. As the giant rose,Tharwen, Kili and Thorin were separated from Nori, Bofur, Dwalin, Ori and the others.

"KILI! Grab my hand!" Fili screamed reaching out, while Tharwen was desperately trying to reach out for Bofur's hand.

The battle raged on, the dwarves, hobbit and tharken all clung to the rocky surface of the giant's leg, praying to every god and deities known to them for help.

The leg of the giant that sat half the company smashed into the rock faces and Tharwen screamed.

"Fili!" Thorin screamed, heartbreakingly loud.

He ran forward, Fili following behind him more carefully than Tharwen was, trying to get to the

"We're alright!" A sharp cry comes from the group and Tharwen rushes and checks the dwarves over, especially Ori and Kili.

"WHERE'S BILBO!?" Fili shouts and Tharwen's heart is back racing as she spins around.

"There he is!" A shout came from behind her.

The sight practically made her heart stop.

Bilbo has hanging on with all his might on a few roots and a rock that had jutted out.

Pushing through to rush to save him, Tharwen feared she wouldn't make it to save him. She didn't have too as Thorin swung down to a close ledge protruding below Bilbo and helping him up to Tharwen and Dwalin.

As Thorin climbed up, back to the company, a rock had broken off, causing Dwalin to catch Thorin by the arm before he fell to his most likely certain death.

"Phew, I thought we almost lost our burglar." Dwalin muttered as Thorin dusted himself off.

"He has been lost ever since he left his home!" Thorin growled. "He should have never have come, he has no place amongst us!" He glared before stalking into a cave that was ahead of them.

"Geez, who shoved a stick up his arse?" Tharwen wondered out loud and Nori, Bofur, Kili and Fili burst into mysterious coughing fits.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Translations:

thakin-dor = Mother fucking, shit!


	7. Chapter 7

Thorin appointed Bofur to guard the main entrance before noticing the dwarf give him a skeptical look, and also Tharwen was giving him short glares before rubbing circles on a shaking Bilbo's back.

He lay down to sleep, turned to face away from the two that glared a him, so protectively over Bilbo, but it did not come so easily to him as he thought.

After a few moments, Thorin heard three voices.

"I'm not though am I, Thorin said I never should have come and he's right, I'm not a Took, I'm a Baggins. I don't know what I was thinking." Bilbo said in exasperation.

"You did know what you were thinking, you thought that their quest was a noble one, that they deserved to return to a _home_ that was _stolen_ from them, and you're not leaving here without me Bilbo."

"I never should have run out my door." Bilbo said silently.

"You should have, and you did, now you're here Bil." Tharwen said.

Tharwen felt like throttling Thorin with her bare hands. 'The nerve off that dwarf!' scowled and looked at Bilbo.

"If you go, I go." She hears herself say.

"You're homesick," Bofur tells him gently, "I understand."

"No, you don't understand, none of you do, you, you, you're dwarves! You're used to living this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere!"

Bilbo paused, realization dawning on him as he realized what he had just said. "Look, I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't..." He sighed quietly.

"No, you're right. We don't belong anywhere." Bofur sighed admittedly.

Bofur gives Bilbo a friendly slap on the shoulder, Tharwen gives him a tight hug and whispers words of warning and comfort in his ear and Thorin feels his heart weighed with guilt.

"I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do." Bofur said sadly.

"Go straight back to Rivendell, promise me you stubborn hobbit, stay with Lord Elrond, I'll come get you after this dammed quest is over."

There's a slight pause and a sound of a footstep before Bofur pipes up, stopping Bilbo in his tracks.

"What's that?"

"Your sword!" Tharwen says.

'Why does it feel as if the floor's sinking underneath me' Thorin thought as he rolled over.

There was a slight sound off gears turning and he shot up screaming orders at the others.

"Get up!" He screamed. "Get up!" Thorin felt like smacking his head against the wall.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They're tumbling down what seems to be a slide.

"Hakethri! Histharin, garthet!" _(Oh fuck that shit hurts!)_ Tharwen curses as she feels her head slam against the rocks.

 

* * *

 

 

_'It's a fucking massive slide of death!'_ Fili thought, screaming and feeling sick as he slide down, crashing into rocks on the way down before landing on top of Dwalin.

He groaned before rolling off Dwalin and onto his uncle.

There was terrible noise that would make any ear ache and they looked up to see a screeching hoard off goblins rushing towards them.

'You've got to be kidding me!' He thought, tripping over his uncle's leg as he tried to get up, landing with his legs draped across Thorin's chest.

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Crush, smack! Whip crack!

Smash, grab! Pinch, nab!

You go, my lad!

Ho, ho! my lad!

The black crack! the back crack!

The black crack! the back crack!

Down down to Goblin-town

Down down to Goblin-town

Down down to Goblin-town

You go, my lad!

Ho, ho! my lad!

Goblins quaff, and Goblins beat

Goblins laugh, and Goblins bleat

Batter, jabber, whip, and taver hoooooo!

Below, my lad!

Ho, ho! my lad!

The black crack! the back crack!

The black crack! the back crack!

Down down to Goblin-town

Down down to Goblin-town

Down down to Goblin-town

You go, my lad!

Ho, ho! my lad!"

The Goblins sang, giving Tharwen an ear ache and a head ache.

"Wait!" Thorin yelled.

"Well, well, well, look who it is." The goblin king said in mock surprise.

"Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror! King under the Mountain..." The goblin king announced.

'We already know that.' Tharwen thought as she snorted.

"Oh, but I'm forgetting, you don't have a mountain, you're not a king!" He shouted, arms out wide, as if he was speaking to an audience.

'Well, I do suppose he has an audience.' Tharwen raised her eye brows.

"Which makes you," He paused, head tilted to one side looking at Thorin. "Nobody really!" He chuckled and Thorin looked as if he was about to hit the Goblin King right in the face there and then.

"I know someone who'd pray a pretty price for your head..." He trailed off, eyebrow raised.

'I think I know where this is going.' Tharwen thought.

"Just your head, nothing attached." He finished slyly.

"Perhaps... You know who I speak off?" He asked, gazing down with a smirk.

'Come on, think Tharwen, stall for time, stall'

"A pale orc, sat astride a white warg!" The goblin king hinted.

"Azog the defiler was destroyed!" Thorin said. "He was slain in battle long ago!"

"You think his defiling days are done!? Do you?" The goblin king taunted.

"Send word to the pale orc." He ordered a little goblin in a bucket-pulley like thingy. "Tell him I have his prize." He said, sending Thorin a look.

"Stop!" Tharwen shouted, pushing past Thorin.

"And who are you? Not dwarf, not elf, but not one of men. What are you?"

"I'm a Tharken your majesty." Tharwen gave a small curtsie.

"A Tharken, it's been a long time since I've seen the likes of your kind in the mountains." The Goblin kind said.

"Well, that's true."

"What do you have to say?" He asked.

"Well, wouldn't it be better if you had someone more valuable than the dwarf, he has no kingdom, nothing to offer but his death, and how do you know Azog the Defiler would not turn on you the first chance he got?"

"What are you saying Tharken?"

"I am Tharwen Karewin, daughter of Karin, son of Farin. Princess of the Tharkens, I'm a much better trade. There would be Tharkens and a power much greater than Azog the Defilerwilling to pay greatly for me , more than Thorin Oakenshield. Leave him and his kin, take me for ransom."

"Such a noble request princess. I think I might take up that offer. Chain her! Bound her!"

Three goblins brought chains forward and began fastening them onto Tharwens arms and at her waist.

"Tharwen no!" Bofur struggled agaisnt the two goblins holding him back.

Nori managed to stick a small knife in one off them and only managed a few paces before getting pulled back.

"Oi leave 'er be!" Dwalin yelled as the goblins groped and ran their hands over her.

Thorin just managed to reach forward and grad Tharwen's arm.

"What are you doing?" He hissed.

"Saving your arse, now hush, I'll be fine." Was all she managed to say before a blast off white light sent them stumbling back.

Tharwen felt the chains go limp and they were off her in a blink of an eye, she looked to see Nori, who picked the locks off her chains before passing her, her swords and daggers.

 

Tremendous vertical slide of doom; negative five out of ten, would not recommend to annoying meddling wizards.

"Well that could be worse." Bofur said cheerfully when they landed in a heap

The goblin king landed on them causing them to groan in annoyance.

"You've got to be joking!" Dwalin groaned.

"GANDALF!" Kili cried as Dwalin helped him up.

Looking up to see hoards of Goblins rush down to attack them, considering that Gandalf did ,send their king falling off a platform arse over tit. Fili grabbed Kili's hand and ran, following Gandalf who was leading them through small cavern like corridors.

 

 

 

 

Translations:

Hakethri! Histharin, garthet! = Oh fuck that shit hurts!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carrock + Tharken warrior birds = Someone's gonna fall off.

Reaching the light, The company stopped and finally managed to catch their breath outside.

"Kili, Fili." Gandalf muttered, counting the dwarfs. "Fourteen."

"Where's Bilbo?!" Gandalf asked.

The dwarves looked around quickly.

"Bilbo?" Tharwen questioned, her face growing more worried by the second.

Tharwen looked like she'd lost all hope.

As Bofur came up to Gandalf with a worried expression on his face, Thorin answered Gandalfs questions with his own thoughts.

"I'll tell you where he is!" Thorin growled, breaking the chatter amongst the company. "Master Baggins saw his chance and took it. He's thought nothing but of his warm bed and hearth since he walked out his door! We will not be seeing our hobbit again! He is long gone."

Kili and Fili glanced at each other with heartbroken eyes, for they did not believe Bilbo would do such a thing, he proved to them he was loyal, and had saved them from being eaten, they had trust in the hobbit, greatly and were full of disbelief and shock.

 

* * *

 

 

"I think Tharwen's sick." Bofur's voice went unheard and he shook his head before looking back at Tharwen, who was glaring daggers into the back of Thorin's head.

 

* * *

 

 

"No, he isn't." Bilbo's soft voice was a whisper among the company, fragments of hurt in his voice showed that he had heard all Thorin had said about him, he could not stomach the fact the dwarf king had thought so lowly of him, but it was true that he did.

"Bilbo Baggins, I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life." Gandalf exhaled in relief.

"Bilbo, we've given you up." Kili said, sending a look that mean't he really didn't believe what Thorin had said, before both the brothers enveloped him in a hug.

"Bilbo!" Tharwen breathed, hugging the hobbit and the two dwarf brothers. "You're safe you stubborn arse prat, I was so worried." She scolded.

"How on earth did you get past the goblins?" Fili asked.

"How indeed?" Dwalin wondered.

"What does it matter? He is back." Tharwen was grateful that Gandalf was with them.

"It does matter. I want to know" Thorin said passively. "Why did you come back?" He asked, gazing at Bilbo with a hint of awe in his eyes.

"I know you doubt, I-I-I know you always have, and you're right, I often think of Bag End, I miss my books, and my armchair, and my garden, see, that's where I belong, that's home. " He said. "And that's why I came back. You don't have one, a home, it's was taken from you." He paused. "And I'll help you take it back if I can" He gave Thorin a smile that said 'I ain't going anywhere you stubborn dwarf.'

A growls and howls pierced through the silence of the company and Tharwen pactically smashed her head against a tree, and blanched at the sight of wargs at the top off the very very high slope.

"Out of the frying pan..."

"And into the fire." Gandalf finished, leaving Thorin looking slightly homicidal... Or was it suicidal, either way he looked like he was about to kill something.

"Run! RUN!" He shouted, taking off into the direction of a 140 feet drop.

Wargs and their riders grouped as the company climbed into the trees. Then the parted respectfully as Azog the Defiler came into the clearing upon his white warg

He began taunting Thorin in his own language, spitting the filth at him.

He raised his mace in Thorin and Tharwens direction and said something that Gandalf and Tharwen translated to 'those two are mine' and then the wargs came.

 

* * *

 

 

"Gah!" Tharwen yelped as she felt the tree topple under the great weight of the beasts.

The company jumped from tree to tree until they reached Gandalf's tree that had begun to teeter on the edge of the cliff.

Gandalf set fire to a pinecone and passed it down to Fili and Bilbo before they'd began lobbing it at the orcs, goblins and wargs.

Their tree teetered over the edge and was hanging horizontally, Dori and Ori both slipping off and only being alive by holding onto Gandalf's staff.

As Kili's arm began slipping Tharwen saw Thorin rise through the smoke and fire, and she grabbed Kili's arm, pulling him back onto the trunk, teetering on the edge of her own branch which was groaning dangerously, Kili gripping her waist so he would not fall.

Tharwen clenched her jaw as Thorin had gone and done the most foolish thing, charging at the pale orc, oaken shield raised. Before getting knocked out by a paw to the forehead.

 

* * *

 

 

 

She was torn between chuckling at the scene and choking as she saw Bilbo scrambling up after him.

"Holy! Bilbo!" She shouted from the branch, pulling Kili up onto the branch before pulling herself up with Kili's help.

The Pale Orc's warg was practically using him as a chew tow!

As Azog's right hand orc went to sever Thorin's head. Tharwen thought she almost had an aneurism. Bilbo had gone and tackle the orc away from Thorin. Tharwen forced herself to get up from the tree and charged at a warg, taking the attention off Bilbo.

The warg reared away but Azog forced it to stay. Tharwen heard a shriek and saw the eagles swooping down, attacking the orcs and goblins. They intervened into the fight and picked off the wargs and orcs one by one, causing the remainder of the pack to flee.

 

* * *

 

 

The eagles flew to the great Carrock and placed the members of the company on the top of the rock.

Gandalf had begun muttering spells to wake Thorin. Tharwen was comforting Bilbo quietly away from the group.

"The halfling?" A hoarse whisper floated across the company. Gandalf assured Thorin that Bilbo was alright.

"You! What were you thinking? You nearly got yourself killed!" He said, gruffly, voice swamped with worry.

"Did I not say you were a burden? That you have no place amongst us?" He asked.

"I've never been so wrong, in all my life." Breathed Thorin, wrapping Bilbo in the most affectionate hug the company had seen Thorin give.

"I'm sorry I doubted you." Thorin apologized, holding the hobbit by the shoulders, looking straight into the bloodshot eyes that had been crying only a few moments ago.

"No, I would've doubted me too. I'm not a hero, nor a warrior, not even a burglar." He admits bashfully but with a small smile on his face.

The moment is interrupted by a sharp screech and they company turns to watch the eagles soar back into the clouds.

Bilbo lets out a small gasp and Thorin turns.

"It's that, what I think it is?" He asks in awe.

"Erebor, The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great Dwarf Kingdoms in Middle Earth." Gandalf announced, answering the question before Thorin could.

Thorin shot a sharp glare at Gandalf before turning to stare at Erebor.

"Our home." He breathed, a small smile creeping onto his lips.

"A raven!" Oin cries, drawing the companies' attention to the birds fluttering and soaring back to the direction of the mountain. "The birds are returning to the mountain."

"That my dear Oin, is a trush." Gandalf corrected smiling.

"Well we'll take it a a sign, a good omen." Thorin whispered, feeling his chest fill with happiness.

"You're right, I do believe the worst is behind us." Bilbo said, walking up next to Thorin with a content smile on his face.

Another bird, large bird with silver and black wings, that looked nothing like bird wings but more like a demons, with flecks of gold tinting it's red eyes swooped down and perched on a rock next to Tharwen.

"Your majesty _._ " It croaked and the company turned in shock.

"Riìkan, you're here, oh Mahal I thought I wouldn't see you since I sent you back with a message to my brother." Tharwen breathed.

"What is Eru's name is that thing?" Kili asked, backing dangerously close to the edge.

"This is Riìkan, he is an As-kharthi, Tharken messenger and warrior birds."

"His wings look nothing like a birds, and and As-kharti? What does that mean?"

"Your majesty, I must insist, I have an urgent message from your brother."Riìkan interrupted.

"Right Riìkan, what is it?"

"Ishtha-kar tha Kiz'lan exthuaa rinto bhekan hikldi ishke hajn'dage, wah thori' whariehs inthro tha fahen, stay safe, faen nin sister. Keep watch, careful watch. Oth'a lanthe in dhangeri'lti. _"_ Riìkan said, fluently in Tharkeen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Tharkeen translation:**

**Ishtha-kar tha Kiz'lan exthuaa rinto bhekan hikldi ishke hajn'dage, wah thori' whariehs inthro tha fahen, stay safe, faen nin sister. Keep watch, careful watch. Oth'a lanthe in dhangeri'lti. = Peace, the Kiz'lan are becoming restless, I fear for your safety, we will rally the warriors for war if it comes to it, come home sister. Keep watch, careful watch, our lands and your quest are in danger.**


	9. Chapter 9

"Would you like to dance?" Kili offered his hand to Tharwen who was sitting in a chair quietly while the others ate and danced.

"Sure thing, Kili." She said, sliding her sword down underneath her chair.

"Bofur pick up the pace a bit." She called.

Bofur started a faster tune and Tharwen held Kili's hand, leading him into a fast paced dance.

"Shouldn't I be leading?" He asked as Tharwen twirled herself around him.

"Don't be too sure." She said smiling. "Tharkens let the girls lead."

"Well I think it's time for a change then." Kili said, pulling her closer and turning her to press her back against him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

***A Few hours Earlier.***

 

"His name is Beorn, and he is a skin changer."

Riìkan let out a sharp cry and ruffled the feathers on his back as he perched himself on Tharwen's right shoulder, which had armour plating on it.

"What does he change into?" Ori asked.

"A bear, a huge black bear."

 

* * *

 

 

"Tharwen, I think you'd like to be the first to talk to Beorn, you two know each other, if I remember correctly." Gandalf said, pushing her forward.

"Who are you?" Beorn asked.

"Tharwen Karewin, daughter of Karin, son of Farin, I am a princess from the Tharken lands, North of Rhovian."

"The same Tharwen that helped my people, kept the borders off my home safe and lent us the As-kharthi that helped me and my fellow skin changers communicate?"

"At your service my friend." She bowed and Riìkan let out a polite squawk.

"You are welcome here. Although I'm not sure about the company you keep." Beorn said.

"They're cause is noble my friend," She paused. "The risk they take could easily cost them their lives, but I am willing to help them see their quest through. Will you help us?"

"What about this bunny?" Beorn asked, pointing at Bilbo.

"I am Bilbo Baggins from the Shire. I'm here to help them." Bilbo said confidently.

"Well, you have to brave companians with you wizard, I think I might let them stay the night."

 

* * *

 

 

 

"I'm not too fond off dwarves... but I hate Orcs more." Beorn said to Thorin.

"You can stay, but only for a week at most, I fear the Orcs will not stay off your trail forever." Beorn said to Tharwen and Gandalf.

"Thank you Master Beorn."

"I'm willing to help a Tharken, you are a fellow skin changers after all." He says and the chatter stops.

"You're a what?"

"Did he say a skin changer?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Were you ever going to tell us?"

"How could you not?"

"Yeah yeah, Tharkens are skin changers too alright!" She said before sending an apologetic glance to Beorn.

"Go outside, take some time, I'll handle them." Gandalf said.

"Yeah I will."

 

* * *

 

 

"What is wrong with you all? You knew nothing off Tharkens and obviously she won't tell you everything if you continue to act so foolishly!" Gandalf scolded.

"The wizards right. How long have you all known her for?"

"Since she came onto our journey, but she mostly talks to Nori and I, Master Beorn." Bofur said.

"And do you know her well?" Beorn asked

"Some what." Bofur said.

"Well, see." Beorn left it at that and went outside.

 

* * *

 

 

Tharwen sat outside against the foot off a tree resting her chin on her knees, the sun was setting slowly and Beorn sat next to her when she gave a small nod.

"Tharwen are you alright?" Beorn asked.

"Yeah, I guess." She said.

"I mean, are you really alright? After Dharwen and Darien, and Fharwen going blind. Being asked to rule in Fharwens place."

"I didn't think it could get any worse after we lost Darien and Fharwen lost his eyesight, but then Dharwen... died and I felt so lost. Fharwen tried, he tried so hard to pull me out off the darkness, but some nights I feel like I'm falling back in." She said, hugging her knees.

"You have people to help you?" He said, more off a question than a statement.

She shook her head, paused, then nodded. "Fharwen, Lindir, Elladan, Elrohir, Bilbo, Bofur, Nori, you." She listed.

"Any among the Mirkwood eldar?" Beorn asked.

"Yes, three or four among the royal guards for the king." She said.

"If you encounter them on the journey, I wish you all the luck, Thranduil has become colder in the past years. It will take a while and I doubt that dwarf of yours in there can hold his temper very well."

"Dwarf of mine? What?" She looked at him eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes, I expected you to notice, playing matchmaker all the time, but he looks at you, he watches you, he desires you, but he will not make a move because the bunny, the dwarf with the hat and the thief are protective off you."

"Haha very funny Beorn, you know I love Dharwen, and him alone." She said.

"You know that's not true, even if your Tharken side calls for Dharwen, you know your shift calls for it's own kind. You know how dangerous this quest is for you, emotionally especially." He scolded lightly.

"I know, but, they're cause is noble, they want their home back Beorn, am I to turn them away and be compared to those who turned their backs on them in their lives."

"No and it's very noble off you to do that. Just be careful. And I think we should go inside now, the sun has set, it's not safe now." Beorn said, getting up and holding his hand out to Tharwen.

"Keep those wings off yours hidden." He whispered and lead Tharwen inside.

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Would you like to dance?" Kili offered his hand to Tharwen who was sitting in a chair quietly while the others ate and danced.

"Sure thing, Kili." She said, sliding her sword down underneath her chair.

"Bofur pick up the pace a bit." She called.

Bofur started a faster tune and Tharwen held Kili's hand, leading him into a fast paced dance.

"Shouldn't I be leading?" He asked as Tharwen twirled herself around him.

"Don't be too sure." She said smiling. "Tharkens let the girls lead."

"Well I think it's time for a change then." Kili said, pulling her closer and turning her to press her back against him.

"You're a good dancer." He complimented as they moved across the wooden floor.

"So are you." She replied, stepping up onto the rise off a platform and letting Kili wrap one arm around her waist to swing her back down.

"Do you dance for people?" He asks as they twirl.

The others are clapping and singing along to Bofur's song, Fili brought out his fiddle and was playing a faster backing tone.

"I used too, when I was younger, my father would hold balls for me, to find me a suitor and anyone who managed to keep up with my dancing, who could mirror my every move, would have a possibility of becoming my partner, thats how our ones work, through dance." She said as Kili leaned her back.

"But isn't that?" Kili didn't know what to say.

"Bonds are formed through dance when it comes to Tharkens, so you have nothing to worry about, I've already been bonded Kili." She says and Kili blushes bright red to the tips of his ears.

"Although you'd be able to find a bunch of Tharken lasses with dance moves like these." Tharwen teased and just when she thought he couldn't go any redder, he turned almost beetroot.

"Well, I'll show you something Dwarvish." He says and changes the pace. Bofur and Fili pick it up and the song slows down catching Gandalf, Beorn, Thorin, Balin and Dwalin's attention from the other side off the room and they see Kili leading Tharwen in a semi-slow dance, hands guiding her to move in time with the music. He guides her feet and lets her lean against him and Thorin can feel a burn of jealousy in his chest as Kili whispers something to her and she replies with something that makes Kili smile.

"So, how good is my dancing now?" He whispers to Tharwen as he lets his hands slide to her waist as she gets the hang off it.

"Almost as good as Dharwen." Kili grins and he his eyes pick up a brightness.

"What does that mean?" He asks.

"It means your brilliant." She compliments and Kili is already blushing again.

"You should see Fili then, he dances way better than me." He says and then calls Fili over to them.

"You called brother."

"Dance with Tharwen." He says, leaving Fili with Tharwen.

"Milady." He says, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to it.

"Dramatics, Master Fili, your brother says your better than him at dancing."

"Really? Last I checked I couldn't dance to save my life." Fili chuckled and wrapped his arm around Tharwen.

"Well show me then." She says and they're off, twirling around, their feet moving in perfect sync, bodies moving like a mirror and their hands placed lightly against each other as if they were feeling a wall.

Kili was on the fiddle taking his brothers place and setting the perfect pace for their dance, not to fast, not to slow, Tharwen melted into Fili hold, letting him lead the dance, leading into a dip and a turn, spin and she soon found her back pressed against Fili's front, one hand holding her waist, another holding her hand, hips moving in sync.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Thorin hated it, to see his nephews dancing with Tharwen, they had no right. He had made his choice first, he wanted her, he loved her. Then he thought off how he never spoke to her, how she never gave him a second thought, how _he_ treated her.

"You can desire her but you cannot have her." Beorn's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Why do you say that I desire her?" He scoffed.

"I can smell it on you, you desire her like the gold in that mountain, but trust me when I say this Thorin Oakenshield. If you love her, she'll out live you, she would not fall for you, she's bonded to Dharwen, and her shift would only seek it's own kind, there's nothing from you she's already been given or had since birth.

"I am a king."

"And she is a queen." Beorn retorted.

"I could give her treasure."

"She has no care for gold."

"I could love her."

"And she could never love you, even if she tried, her fate, and her kind are not like that... and she will tell you in time." Beorn said.

"Her kind, half elf isn't she?"

"Much more than that. She looks fine doesn't she? Not a scar on her. Nothing?" He says.

"Aye she's perfect."

"That's where your wrong. It's called glamour, you can't see them. Of course you, I'm sorry, but she isn't as perfect as you think. She's scarred Master Dwarf, you may not see it but she'll show you... in time of course." Beorn left him there with his thoughts.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"You can dance." Tharwen practically giggled as he spun her around the room. Bofur and Nori were dancing too, although it looked like Nori was trying not to trip and land on his face.

"Well thank you. Your dancing is amazing. Who taught you?"

"I learnt myself, all Tharkens can dance, I just took it more seriously than others." She replied.

"That's brilliant. You're brilliant." He says.

"Not really Master Fili." She gave a shrug.

"Nope no, none off this Master business, you're a part off this company and a part off this quest, and I think Kili and I could consider you as family, so has Nori and Bofur. So just Fili is fine." Fili says and twirls her again.

"Fine of course, I think you'll get along with my brother Fili. He's quite like you." She says and they move to a different dance.

"What's this called?" Fili asks as he picks up the footwork as easily as he knows how to use his swords.

"Krywn, named after a Tharken princess, who was going to get married to a man she didn't love, so her and her bonded crashed a masquerade ball, danced with him infront off everyone." She said and Fili catches her mid turn with ease.

"That's so, noble." He said.

"No, that is love Fili, your quest, your cause is noble. Love is an entirely different thing." She shook her head.

"Oi some people want to dance with her too!" Nori shouted from a chair which he claimed after giving up on dancing.

"Well come and here and dance!" Fili shouted back and Tharwen laughed.

"Come on boys, there's enough off me to go around, seriously. One dance for all off you, promise." She says and Fili lets Nori take over.

"You know Thorin looked like he's about to kill the boys right." Nori whispers as he focuses on his footwork.

"You don't think I realized, one off the reasons why I continued dancing with the two in the first place." She whispered back. "He's fun to annoy."

Nori gives a chuckle before Tharwen catches his arm mid trip.

"I'm no good at foot work." He says. "I'm a thief, not a dancer."

"Haha well then. I'm going to take a break. I haven't dance this much since Dharwen and I snuck to a festival in Thranduil's palace. Never again we did that." She said and Nori let her go back to where she left her sword.

"An ale Tharwen?" Beorn asked.

"Nah, some off the Tharken stuff Fharwen brought last time we came here, do you still have any?" She asked.

"Of course you brought a lot just for me." Beorn says and turns too a barrel that's on one off the higher shelves.

"Here you go." He says, passing a clear mug with red liquid in it to her.

"Haven't had this in ages." She said, drinking the liquid, it burned as it went down her throat but she kept drinking.

"Hey Fi, I think she can out drink you!" Kili called.

"Oi just cause I like a good drink does not mean I'm interested in drinking games." Tharwen said as the dwarves sent knowing glances to each other.

"Please?"

"Just this once?"

"We won't do anything, promise."

"We won't even prank anyone in the morning."

"You can have our money." Kili says.

"Or you could get a little kiss." Fili randomly says.

Tharwen just shoots him a weirded out look.

"Really?" Kili asks slapping Fili's shoulder.

"Fine, fine, I'll join." She says.

"Let the games begin Bofur says.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bofur, Nori, Bifur, Dwalin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Gloin and Oin all joined in the drinking. Tharwen still ahead. They all decided to try Tharken drinks because Tharwen had already started.

"Come on, I'm so winning." Dwalin slurred as he thumped his mug on the table.

"Nah, Mister Dwalin, I think Tharwen's way ahead of you." Ori said, pointing at Tharwen who was easily downing the drink as if it was water.

"I'm out!" Kili announced.

"Me too." Dori said.

Bifur signed something and Bofur translated. "Bifur says he's out."

Ten minutes later Dwalin, Nori, Gloin and Tharwen were drinking away.

"Oh come on you're not getting beaten by a woman." Bofur says to Dwalin and his movements become more sluggish.

"I've seen Tharwen drink, she beat her own brother once." She heard Bilbo whisper, to whom she didn't know.

"Hey where's my support?" Tharwen asks and Beorn, who is watching the unfolding scene gives Tharwen a pat on the back.

"I'm guessing the drink is too strong for dwarves." Beorn says.

"Strong?" Tharwen said in disbelief. "This is one of our weakest drinks."

"How is this weak?" Fili says motioning to the drink.

"It's weak for us." Tharwen says and Dwalin announces he's out off the game.

"Come on Nori, Gloin." She teases and Nori and Gloin ask for a refill.

"Way ahead off you my friends." Tharwen says and she's pouring another mug for herself.

"Oi just give up you two, she's winning easily." Bofur calls and both Nori and Gloin send a string of curses in both Khuzdul and Westorn in his direction.

"Now now watch your language." Bofur taunts.

Nori just makes rude gestures at him while Gloin takes another drink.

"Eh, I'm out." Nori says and Bofur starts laughing at him, causing Nori to, instead of slapping him like he expects, plops into his lap like a giddy girl.

"Woah." Bofur gasps and Nori starts playing with the flap off his hat.

"That is..." Tharwen trails off, mug raised to her lips, she takes a sip and smiles. "Quite cute actually."

"Give up Gloin." She laughs, refilling her mug.

"You win lass." He manages to say and Tharwen raises her glass.

"Woohoo! To Tharkens and their apparently to strong drinks, and my friends, I swear, this was a good game." She cheers, slightly drunk.

"Oh come on, I'll give you a taste of Dwarvish ale when we reclaim Erebor." Dwalin says.

"Right, Tharken ale is stronger than The Elven Kings wine. Trust me I know." Tharwen jested and Dwalin let out a laugh.

"Get to bed." Gandalf interruppted. "It's getting quite late."

"Yeah I think so." Bilbo yawned.

"I won 't be sleeping for a while." Tharwen muttered.

"Yes I forgot about that." Bilbo says.

"Yeah so did I."

Tharwen leaned back and winced when her shoulder rested against the chair.

"You never got that checked out did you?" Bilbo asks as the other dwarves clean up the mess they'd made.

"What?" Tharwen asked.

"Your shoulder, you never got it looked at." Bilbo asked.

"Nah, didn't have time, and Lindir said it'd be fine, well, he said it'd be fine if I didn't use it and kept it's wrapping on. But um... as you can tell, I didn't really listen."

"Now whose the irresponsible prat." Bilbo scolded.

"Master Beorn, could you take a look at Tharwens left shoulder. She hurt it earlier in the journey." Bilbo asked Beorn.

"Sure thing, you lot get some rest, I'll look after this little one."

"I ain't little."

"By Tharken standards your only a child Tharwen, don't get into this argument again."

"But Beorn." Tharwen whined.

"Now you're acting your age. Tharwen! Behave for once and stay still." Beorn rebuked.

"Sorry." She muttered with a childish scowl. She stopped moving and watched as the others headed to their bed rolls, Bilbo following them.

 

* * *

 

 

"Tharwen, come one, off with your cloak. Stop being so stubborn!" Beorn tried not to raise his voice.

"Listen to Beorn, Tharwen." Gandalf scolded. "That shoulder off yours will seriously affect your performance."

"Ugh... fine." She took off her cloak and long sleeved vest, leaving on a sleeveless training shirt. "There." She said.

The old injury was worse than she thought. The distorted skin was blistering and the wrappings were already soaked red.

"Tharwen, those are your burns, I thought they healed." Beorn said, severly chastising the Tharken.

"No, it's mostly glamour, it covers the damage." She said, bowing her head.

"Now, nothing to be ashamed. Remember that Thranduil has to do the same, and majority of your kin uses glamour too." Beorn comforted.

"I know."

She winced as Beorn dabbed the salve on gently and wrapped her shoulder tightly.

"Don't strain your shoulder anymore." He warned sternly.

"I won't"

"Promise me." He insisted.

"I promise Beorn." She said softly. She recognized the tone and softened her scowl to a small smile. He was only trying to make sure she got to go back to Fharwen. "I promise."

"Good now off to bed Tharwen. No buts." He ordered and she got up, grabbing her sword that was stowed in the corner.

"Right. Good night." She said, going to where the others had set up the bedrolls.

"Good night." Gandalf called.

"I fear for her safety." Beorn said to Gandalf after she left.

"I know, it is a dangerous quest."

"It's not just that. Thorin Oakenshield is her biggest threat, her Tharken form will not allow another bond, and her shift may be their downfall. I fear, when she comes to see that dragon, she may not be able to resist it anymore." Beorn tells Gandalf.

"Smaug will not be a threat unless he feels the pull as well."

"If he shifts into human form and confronts her, she'll be lost, Tharwen will react to the shift and we may not get her back."

"I see." Gandalf said, feeling the weight of Beorns words.

"Watch her. Just don't let her become one of the chained." He said, lifting his hand that had a metal bound on it, half a chain attached. "Once it's on, it'll never come off, and she belongs to him."

Gandalf nods and Beorn leaves his home.

Gandalf can hear the growl and roar of the great black bear he's become and the bounding off his paws as he leaves the area.

"Oh Tharwen, this quest, I fear for your heart." Gandalf whispers to himself as the candles in the hall flicker out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glamour, is my uncreative name for the magic Thranduil used to hide the thing on his face in DOS, I say thing because I have no idea what it is.


	10. Chapter 10

"I can't believe this was the Greenwood." Tharwen grumbles, triping over another root.

Thorin reached out to help her up but she batted his hand away rolling her eyes.

"I'm fine." She says, dusting the dirt off her front and ignoring him.

"Alright, come on get a move on." Thorin ordered.

"Whatever." She said before moving along.

She tripped again and this time she let out a string off Tharkeen curses.

"I am sick off this!" She spat, kicking the foot off the tree.

"Calm down." Bilbo said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"You of all people really Bilbo." She gave a leveled glare and ignored the rest off the company.

 

* * *

 

 

"Oi, whats up with her?" Dwalin asked.

"I think it's Dariens' birthday today." Bilbo muttered quietly.

"The lass's little brother?" Bofur asked.

"Yes. She's in a bad mood, is all. Just don't make her angry, or we'll all be dead before we reach that mountain." Bilbo warned.

"She's not that bad is she?" Balin asked curiously.

"Hell no, she's bad." Bilbo says before jumping out off the way off a flying pebble.

"And here she goes." He muttered.

"You insufferable dwarf can you not, I'm not a pathetic being, okay!" Tharwen yelled at Thorin.

"Just being polite, kind, anything else off the matter." Thorin retorted

"I don't need you too!" She spat back at him.

"Oh course, you don't need anyone, which is probably why you don't have anyone!" He snapped.

Tharwen's face dropped, eyes growing dark. Thorin's words struck her in the core. Of course she didn't have anyone, they were gone, her mother, her father, Dharwen, Darien... oh Darien. She should have been there, for both Darien and Dharwen.

"You're right." She said softly.

Thorin kept the stoic expression on his face and turned away, walking further forward on the path.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_'Do you feel like your drowning when you fall?'_ The voice floated in her head. _'Does it hurt you like it hurts everyone around you?' 'Are you clawing at your throat for breath?' 'You can see it through your eyes but you cannot act on which you desire. You watched as his throat was slit, you watched as they devoured his essence, his heart, his soul and you were defenceless to stop all that would haunt your dreams.'_ Tharwen blinked as someone grabbed her arm.

"Lassie, what's wrong?" Dwalin's gruff voice asked.

She shook her head slightly. "Nothing."

"We'll stop here and make camp!" Thorin ordered from the front off the group. Dwalin moved to the front off the group, leaving Tharwen and Riìkan alone at the end.

' ** _I can feel your shift moving closer to me, come to me darling pet.'_** A low voice calls and Tharwen feels magic just weaving its way through the company and towards her her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tharwen watched as the company was taken by surprise by spiders and were wrapped up in silk in the blink off an eye, she crouched low and watched as Bilbo killed a spider on a branch above where the company hung, by stabbing it through the web it had spun around him and it crashed onto the ground in front off her, she jumped back as the arachnid slowly stopped moving.

She debated whether to help Bilbo or stay on the ground, so she could help if Bilbo's attempts failed.

Bilbo disappeared from sight suddenly and Tharwen crept back. Another spider crashed into the ground and Tharwen watched as Bilbo came back into view.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

"Lath'rien, vos come vat to nehwre, deritea, srtherwyinm, nhio, justhynm." Riìkan croaked.

"Riìkan?" Tharwen asked as her vision blurred.

"Spiders my queen."

"Riìkan!" She felt the world spin as she saw a spider crawl above her and a sharp pain in her side. Looking down she saw a small sharp point protruding from her side and blood dripping down.

"That looks pretty." She murmered as the blood dripped off and she fell to the ground following the drop off blood.

"Tharwen!" Thorin screamed, seeing the spider wrap Tharwen in it's silk.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Battle cries sounded from the members off the company as spiders swarmed through the leaves and from around trees, using their webs to lower themselves onto the dwarves on the ground.

Though hacking and slashing, Thorin couldn't keep his head focused, watching as the spider that was carrying Tharwen prepared to sink his pincers into her, one off Fili's well aimed hunting daggers to the eye caused it too cry out in pain and it dropped her.

"Fili, Kili, get her away from the spiders." He ordered.

"I can't get to her!" Fili yelled, dodging a spider.

"I can try?" Kili said, sliding under a spider and running towards Tharwen.

"She's bleeding!" Kili yelled as he knelt next to her, ripping off the webbing.

"How bad?" He asked from where he stabbed another spider.

"I dunno for sure, but she's awake." Kili called back.

"Why does it hurt?" Tharwen mumbled.

"You got bitten by a spider I think." Kili said, trying to help her stand.

"Blurry. Kili?"

"Yes. Tharwen." Kili shook her gently.

"I can't see, why can't I see? I can tell it's you because off your voice and I can feel you there... I can't see you, Kili." She felt tears trickling down her face.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There was a loud comotion and shrieks from the spiders.

Thorin slowed to a stop as an arrow was pointed at his head.

"Do not think I won't kill you dwarf, it would be my pleasure." Legolas warned.

Thorin lowered his and Legolas ordered the other elves to search them.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kili let out a scream as a spider grabbed his foot, pulling both him and Tharwen onto the ground.

"KILI!" He heard his brother yell.

An arrow hit the spider in the eye and it let go off Kili's grip.

"Help her please." Kili pleaded as an auburn haired elf killed a spider.

"Who is she?"

"Her name's Tharwen, she was with us, we stopped for camp and a spider bit her, please?" Kili begged.

"It's okay, I'll help you, just." She through a dagger into another spider. "Wait a second."

"Is she alright?" Kili asked as the she-elf looked at Tharwens wound.

"I'm not sure, how long since?" She asked.

"I think, I'm not sure, half an hour, fourty five minutes. She says she can't see anything." He said quickly.

"We'll have to get her to the others." She said, before reaching an arm around Tharwen.

"Tauriel?" She groaned quietly, leaning up. "I can't see you. Why can't I see you?"

"I don't know Tharwen, I'll take you to Legolas." She said before looking at Kili.

"Can you help me carry her?" Tauriel asked.

"Sure." He picked her up.

"Tauriel? Gulthun dul nungul bine?" He asked.

"E'northeir guir niur dwhir nungul, heath'wir."

Tauriel motioned Kili to come forward.

"It's Tharwen, Legolas."

"Ai!" Legolas took in a sharp breath. "We need to take her too my father!"

"She is part off this company." Thorin said.

"She won't live if she stays with you." Legolas retorted.

"Legolas, take her, it'll be faster if you go on your own."

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Ada! It's Tharwen." Legolas found him self sweating with shock. He hadn't seen Tharwen since he was a child.

"Where did you find her?" Thranduil knelt next to Tharwen's shivering body.

"Tauriel found her with a dwarf, she said she's been bitten by a spider."

"Tôg athelas! Boe de nestad. See that a healer comes immediately!" Thranduil ordered to a nearby guard.

"Adar? Will she be alright?"

"I don't know, for now, I think we should leave her with the healers, if her conditions worsen, I will tend to her myself." Thranduil said softly, pushing the hair off Tharwen's face. "She is a sister to me Legolas, I will do what is in my power so that she can survive." He gave the unconcious Tharwen a small smile before getting up from his kneeling position.

"I will see to the prisoners, stay with her."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Some may imagine that a noble quest is at hand. A quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon. I myself, suspect a more prosaic motive, attempted bugglary... or something off that ilk. You've found a way in. You seek that would bestow upon you the right to rule, the kings jewel, The Arkenstone. It is precious to you beyond measure, I understand that. There are gems in the mountain that I too desire. White gems off pure starlight. I offer you my help." Thranduil bowed his head somewhat sincerely.

"I am listening." Thorin said.

"I'll let you go... if you but return what is mine."

"A favour for a favour?" Thorin mused.

"You have my word." Thranduil promised. "One king to another."

"I would not trust... Thranduil, great king, to honour his word! Till the end off all days be upon us! You lack all honour! I have seen how you treat your friends! We came to you once, starving! Homeless! Seeking your help!" He spat. "But you turned your back! You turned away from the suffering off my people! And the inferno that destroyed us!"

Thranduil stared in disbelief and bottled-up anger. As Thorin was in mid curse in Khuzdul when he interrupted, seeing red, feeling himself tremble at his own fear, his own pain.

"Do not speak to me about dragon fire! I know it's wrath and ruin!"

As he spoke, Thorin saw Thranduil's face contort in pain as it revealed distorted and burnt skin. "I have faced the serpents of the north!"

Thranduil walked to the steps leading to his throne.

"I warned your grandfather, of what his greed would summon, but he would not listen, you are just like him. I will not let your quest take another life I care about." He motioned to the guards and they seized Thorin by the arms.

"Stay here if you will, a hundred years is mere blink, in the life of an elf. I'm patient, I can wait." He partially sneered at the dwarf. "You will not kill my family for your own greed."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Did he offer you a deal?" Balin asked as the elf that shoved him into the cell left.

"He did, I told him he could go Ish-kagveha do nul. Him and all his kin!" Thorin shouted from his cell.

"A deal was our only hope." Balin said.

"Not our only hope." Thorin muttered.

 

* * *

 

 

 

"How is she?" Thranduil asked the healer, kneeling next to Tharwen, who was shivering and muttering under her breath on the healing bed.

"She earnt herself a fever, the poison has already traveled far, her eyesight is damaged and the wound festers. She's not getting worse, but it'll be a while until she gets better." He said, replacing the wet cloth on her forehead. "It's a good thing your son brought her here in time, any later and her survival may be out off our hands.

"You may leave." He said softly. "I will keep watch on her health."

The healer gave a small bow and left the room.

"Echuio, Tharwen, gellon ned i galar i chent gîn ned gladhog, not your eyes filled with desire for death and darkness, im meleth le nín gwathel. Please echuio."

"Adar?" Legolas's voice came from the doorway.

"Ion nin."

"How is she?" He asked, kneeling next to his father.

"Her condition isn't worsening, but she'll take a while to recover her full strength."

"I haven't see her since, nana died. How old is she now?"

"She's only seven centuries younger than me. She is a little sister to me Legolas. She cared for you when I couldn't. Do you remember? You were only a few decades old ion nín."

"I remember her voice, her face, she played with me near the waterfalls and followed me pebble collecting." He said, closing his eyes at the memory.

"Yes she did. You looked up to her, and I am proud that you still do." Thranduil said softly, gently stroking the side of Tharwen's face.

"I will leave you with her ada, I know, that she is family, I will be checking on the prisoners." Legolas said, slowly getting up from next to the healing bed and heading to the door giving one last glance over his shoulder to see his father whispering to Tharwen, words of comfort and promise.

"I need to see you smile sister dear. I did a bad job looking after you sister dearest, never did it right, but you turned out right, even with glamour, you make a wonderful queen." Thranduil whispered, hearing the door click shut, unaware that someone else had slipped out with Legolas.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"The stone in your hand? What is it?" Tauriel asked.

"It's a talismen." Kili answered, clutching it in his hands protectively. "A powerful spell lies upon it, if any but a dwarf reads the runes on this stone, they will be forever cursed."

Tauriel moved away from the cell.

"Or not!" Kili said quickly. "Depending on whether you believe in that kind off thing, it's just a token." He said with a laugh. "A runestone."

"My mother gave it to me so I would remember my promise."

"What promise." Tauriel asked.

"That I would come back to her."

"She worries." He said after a slight pause. "She thinks I'm reckless."

"Are you?"

"Nah." He said, throwing the stone in the air, going to catch it, missing. The small stone clinking as it bounced through the bars.

Tauriel stopped it from falling off the end off the walkway and picked it up.

"Sounds like quite the party, you're having up there." Kili said, eyes fleeting to the ceiling as noises of cheers floated down into the dungeons.

"It is Merithen Gilith. The Feast of Starlight. All light is sacred to the eldar, but woodelves love best the light off the stars." She said fondly.

"I always thought it is a cold light, remote and far away." Kili said, almost distraught looking.

"It is memory, precious and pure, like your promise." She smiled down at Kili holding out the stone in her hand.

"I have walked there sometimes, beyond the forest and up into the night, I have seen the world fall away, and the white light forever fill the air."

"I saw a firemoon once." Kili said. "It rose over the pass near Dunland, was huge, red and gold it was, filled the sky." He said with wonder. "We were escorts for some merchants from Erid Luin, they were trading in silver work for ferns, we took the Greenway south." He smiled shyly as Tauriel sat on the steps next to his cell. "Keeping the mountain to our left and there it was, a huge fire moon lighting our path."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"We took the Greenway south." Legolas heard as he walked down the steps towards the dungeons. "Keeping the mountain to our left and there it was, a huge fire moon lighting our path."

He watched as Tauriel and a dwarf spoke to each other, sneering at every word the dwarf said.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Any news off Tharwen?" Balin asked as Bofur continued to complain to Fili and Ori.

"Thranduil said nothing off the sort. Although," Thorin paused. _'I will not let your quest take another life I care about.' 'You will not kill my family for your own greed.'_ Thranduils words came back to him. "Thranduil told me, that he would not let this quest take another life he cares about, and that I would not kill his family for my own greed."

"You don't think."

"I think he has Tharwen."

"That he does, my friends." Bilbo said, peaking in from the side off the cell bars.

"Bilbo! Tharwen, how is she?" Thorin asked.

"She's in a healing room, somewhere on the second floor I think. She's unconcious, has a fever, the spiders poison has travelled far, her eyesight is damaged, and I think the spider bite, the wound, is festering, I heard the elvish healer say." Bilbo said.

"Who else was there?"

"Thranduil and his son."

"What was that elf, doing with her?"

"Childhood friends, she's seven centuries younger than him. Thranduil thinks off her as his younger sister. He said a few things in elvish, about how she should wake up, how he loved to see the shine in her eyes when she laughed... then he said something about desire for death and darkness." Bilbo relayed reluctantly.

"Anything else, about when she'll be at least concious, or able to move."

"I doubt she'll be moving for a while Thorin, even if her wound heals and fever breaks, her eyesight is temporarily gone, there will be no way she could continue this quest." Bilbo said practically.

"We won't leave without her." Thorin said. "We'll need her when the time comes, I can feel it, someway, Gandalf pulled her onto this quest for a reason."

"Tell the others, tell them not to speak a word to any of the elves until we can get Tharwen out off here with us." Thorin asked Bilbo.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Translations:**

**Tharkeen:**

Lath'rien, vos come vat to nehwre, deritea, srtherwyinm, nhio, justhynm. = M'lady Tharwen, somthing lurks in the shadows around you, spawn off the necromancer, danger is near you.

**Sindarian:**

Tauriel? Gulthun dul nungul bine? = Tauriel have you killed the spiders.

E'northeir guir niur dwhir nungul, heath'wir. = Yes, but more will come, they are getting bolder.

Tôg athelas! Boe de nestad. = Bring Kingsfoil, she needs healing.

Adar/Ada. = Father.

Echuio. = Awaken/Wake up.

Gellon ned i galar i chent gîn ned gladhog. = I love to see your eyes shine when you laugh.

Im meleth le nín gwathel. = I love you my sister.

Ion nin. = My son.

**Khuzdul***

*The translation is too vulgar even for me to include into my story.

 


	11. Chapter 11

*x*x*x

* * *

 

*x*x*x

"Tharwen, echuio, I love you my sweet, sister, I need to see you smile." Thranduil pleaded softly.

"Adar?" Legolas said softly from the doorway.

"Yes Legolas?"

"The dwarf king wishes to speak to you."

"Why?"

"It's about Tharwen." Legolas said.

"What does he want to know about her?" Thranduil asked, standing from his seat next to the bed.

"He will not say."

"I will see to him." Just as Thranduil turned, Tharwen grasped his hand.

"Avo 'wanno na nîn nef er." She croaked. "Gwestog?" She asked, scared.

"Lath'rien..."

"Please. I'm scared..." She whimpered.

"Tharwen, can you see me?" Thranduil asked gently.

Tharwen let out a sob as she shook her head. "No. Why can't I see you? Muindor? Why?" She sobbed.

Thranduil knelt next to her wrapping and arm around her.

"It'll be alright. Everything will be alright. I promise, av-'osto. How do you feel?" He asked softly, wiping her tears away.

"My head hurts and my stomach, I'm hungry..." She mumbled.

"I'll get the healers to bring you some broth."

"Is Legolas there?" She asked suddenly. "I mean I can feel another but..." She trailed off.

"It's alright, and yes Legolas is here. Ion nin." Thranduil said, motioning Legolas to come closer.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey Legolas. Thanks for finding us." She said.

"Us?"

"Me and Kili, we were separated from the others." She clenched her teeth as she felt searing pain behind her eyes.

"Kili?"

"The tall one, well taller than the other dwarves, dark hair." She said before coughing.

"Oh him." Legolas sneered.

"Where are they?" She asked through coughs.

"In the dungeons." Thranduil answered.

"Can I go see them?" She asked.

"You're not exactly in a good condition to go and do that." Thranduil said softly.

"Please?" She asked, pouting slightly.

"Don't give me that face. Oh Tharwen fine. I'll take you down there." Thranduil gave in.

"Thank you, muindor." She gave him a small smile.

*x*x*x

* * *

 

*x*x*x

"Tharwen!" Fili clanged against the cell bars as Thranduil helped her down the steps.

"Fili?" She lifted her head.

"Here!" He reached out his hand through the bars.

She felt his hand brush against her arm and she reached blindly for it.

"I can't see you."

"What do you mean? I'm right here Tharwen."

"Her eyesight's temporarily damaged." Thranduil said softly, pushing the her hair out off her eyes.

Fili's eyes widened at the gentle gesture. There was more between the two than he interpreted from Thorin's message that Bilbo passed on, he didn't make a comment.

"Oh, well Tharwen, you're okay now right?" Fili asked.

She nodded.

"Good, now go see Kili, he's worried about you." Fili said.

"Um, can't see remember." She bit her lip nervously.

"Oh yeah."

"Kili!" Fili called from his cell.

"Fili!" Kili replied.

"Tharwen's here." He said and the other dwarves peered out off their cells.

"Tharwen!" Kili, Bofur, Nori and the others called.

"Just making this clear I can't see ish-jaitr nah!" She said aloud.

"What?" She heard Kili asked as Thranduil smacked her arm.

"Language Lath'rien!" He scolded.

"What she say?"

"She said she can't see shit." He flinched at the curse.

"Well! I can't!" She snapped.

"Then you shouldn't have convinced me to help you come down here right?" He argued. "Now come on, you wanted to talk to them. Who do you want to talk to next? I promised I'll help you and I will."

"Where's Thorin?"

"Why do you-?"

"Where is he?"

"Lath'rien.."

"Where is he, Thranduil honestly, will you take me too see him, and let us talk without spying?"

"If that is what you wish Lath'rien. Then I will allow it." He sighed.

*x*x*x

* * *

 

 

*x*x*x

"Tharwen. Are you okay?"

"Thorin."

"Did they hurt you?"

"Thorin..."

"Did the spiders hurt you?"

"Thorin."

"Did Thranduil do anything to you?"

"Thorin god dammit listen to me." She shouted over Thorin's constant questions.

"Sorry."

"I'm fine. Thranduil's looking after me."

"We'll leave soon, in a week, if my eyesight comes back, if not you leave without me." She said.

"No Tharwen, I won't leave without you."

"Why not? This isn't my quest, Thorin, if my eyesight doesn't come back, I will be no use on this quest. You have to go without me." She said truthfully.

"I won't leave a member off this company behind." He said stubbornly.

"But I'm not right, I never signed anything, I'm here on my own free will, because I decided to help you. And this counts, I will only slow you down."

"No, you won't I'll help you, Kili and Fili will help you. Bilbo will help you."

"Thorin, why do you want me to stay? Why, it's just making this so much harder?" She half pleaded, half sighed.

"I don't want to part with you, Tharwen..." He seemed hesitant at first. "I love you."

Tharwen gave him a pained face and looked distraught. "Thorin."

"Look if it's about the quest I understand, but I cannot leave without you, it would be leaving my heart behind."

"Thorin, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I can't love you. Thorin love isn't fair, life isn't fair. I lost my one to something I could have stopped and I physically and mentally incapable of loving you. It's the way I was made."

"I love you."

"But I can't love you Thorin."

"Why?"

"Because. My heart isn't built for loving other races." She said tiredly.

"But you'll let me love you?" He asked, somewhat desperately.

"Thorin, you will only lend up hurting yourself, is that what you want? To be hurt?" She asked.

"I only ask you let me do one thing Tharwen." He says softly.

"What is it Thorin?"

"Let me have one kiss, from you." He asks. "So I can know what your lips feel like in case I die on this quest."

Tharwen leaned back, slowly resting her head against the wall.

"Right because you're gonna die. You're tougher than nails Thorin Oakenshield. I don't think you'll die on this quest!" She said.

"Please?" Thorin sounded so sad to Tharwen.

"Okay, but you'll have to come here."

"You are my world Tharwen." Thorin said softly, lips ghosting Tharwens.

Tharwen closed her eyes and Thorin kissed her slowly, hand cupping the back off her neck.

Pulling away, Thorin kissed Tharwens forehead.

"Thank you." He felt something damp and noticed tears trickling down Tharwens face.

*x*x*x

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Note: Lath'rien is Tharwen's Tharkeen name. Only Thranduil calls her that.**

**NO she will not be dating Thorin.**

**NO she isn't going to date anyone in the company.**

**Translations: (Sindarian)**

**Avo 'wanno na nîn nef er. = Please don't leave me/ Don't leave me alone please?**

**Gwestog? = Promise?**

***x*x*x**

 

***x*x*x**

**Tharwen's discription, appearance and voice is all left up to your own imaginations, but she is taller than the dwarves, her height is the same as elves and her outfit is Aragorns in Lotr. That's all I have to say about Tharwen. Tharken's, as I say, are my own creation, including their language and all the things than come along with Tharkens, their history, names mentioned etc. So copyright. Also, just incase you all are interested, this book will have five parts. The sequels will follow the storyline for Lotr, The fellowship off the ring, The two towers and Return off the king, as the 2nd, 3rd and 4th parts, whilst the 5th book will be something off my own creation.**


	12. Chapter 12

 

"So you're telling me he kissed you. and you didn't mind." Thranduil asked.

"I cannot love him and you know it." Tharwen said.

"But you have fallen for men, the men of Gondor, time and time again, did you not remember any off the times I had to come rescue you from the men who tried time and again to use you?"

"If I fall for a man, may it be now, or the future, I know when my heart will have healed." She bit back.

"I am only surprised you haven't even beared a child that is Dharwen's, you both spend so much time using Elladan and Elrohir's athelas mixture it has become less of a jest and more off a concern." He said.

"You know we only  _used_ it because they slipped it into our drinks." She scowl, barking at him from where she sat.

"You have to let them go. They want to reclaim their home, let them." Tharwen said, tilting her head in his direction.

"Has he poisoned you? They are signing a contract for their own death. Do you wish for them to do so?"

"I forgot how stubborn you are." She huffed before making a rude gesture at him. "Let them go. They will succeed but most likely at a terrible cost. And you will  _will_ allow them to leave."

"And why should i do that?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Because, I want them to go. Let them go now and I will not go with them." She blinked rapidly for a few moments.

"Are you alright?" Thranduil asked concerned.

"Yes, now will you let them go or not?"

"I don't think I should because  _you_ will follow them, with or without your eyesight. I know for a fact you'll get Legolas to help you."

"I'm hurt, you think I'll do that, I have a much better plan brother dear." She said almost mockingly, leaning back against the wall the healing bed was pushed against. "You just have to realise when had I put it into action."

"What?"

"You heard me just fine." She smiled. "Don't pretend you didn't hear me. And as for your prisoners, brother dearest."

There was a loud thunk and Thranduil turned.

"Who's there?" He asked, cocking his head with interest.

"Now really brother, are you hearing things now?" She teased.

"Shut it Lath'rien." He growled.

"Do you really think something is even there?" She said somewhat evily.

"I do not like your tone." 

"Of course you don't, you've never liked this tone especially in times like this." She mocked.

"You're incorrigable."

"Honey you should have seen me in a crown." She gave him a wicked grin.

Thranduil, not that he would admit it, was scared. He was scared that his little sister was putting her life on the line again. That her nonchalant attitude was going to get her killed one day. She was so outgoing, selfless, so willing, so courages, kind, amazing, gorgeous, heart-wrenchingly beautiful, helpful, devoted and _fiercely loyal._

He remembered back too when she had her coming off age party. She had just managed to shake off Fharwen, who was following her around like a protective older pup, who Thranduil suspects he was at the time, when he ambushed her from behind a pillar, getting thwacked in the face for  _'scaring her to death'._ He didn't like Lath'rien wandering off on her own, especially with the amount of lads that had shown up to capture her heart, and the amount off rumours he's heard about majority off them.

Oh course he was being the protective big brother, he had a bond with her that both their fathers had **(correctly)** thought would make Lath'rien a stronger queen if something happened to Fharwen. He didn't expect her to find her beloved on that day either, and he was so fiercely protective over her that day two, he remembered seeing the masked man whisk her off into a dance, the way their bodies in perfect sync, they were one. They spoke as one, thought as one, breathed as one,  _lived_ as one.

Then Lath'rien was torn away from him after years off love, she grew cold, she grew hateful, then Legolas came, and she found a joy in him, treated him like her own son and Thranduil knew she was once again the same girl, the same queen, the same spirit, who would not let anyone go through the pain and suffering that she had all those months ago.

She didn't behave like a queen, hardly ever would she wear her crown, just the circlet that Thranduil had to force her to wear most off the time, she'd run off, have adventures, meet new people, gain her life back.

When he saw Legolas carrying her into the throne room and laying her on the floor, her fierce shivering and the droplets off sweat forming on her forehead, the gasps she let out as the poison traveled further into her blood stream, her skin as it grew deathly cold.

He was so scared. He didn't want to lose her. He  _didn't._ He'd  _die!_ Before he let anything happen to her, because he just can't lose her, he can't. She's one off the only family he has left.

* * *

 

 

"Thranduil?" Tharwen asked softly.

Thranduil had grew deathly quiet. If Tharwen could see something other than blurs, she would have seen his face disthraught, his hands trembling and tears streaming down his face.

She would have seen Thranduil's mask fall apart piece by piece. His cobalt blue eyes lightening as tears now streaming fully and freely down his face. Sobs and gasps softly, breaking out and his hands shaking badly.

But she could hear it.

* * *

 

Thranduil couldn't let her go. He couldn't. Through blurry eyes and unsteady steps, he sat on the edge of Tharwens bed and pulled her into a hug. It wasn't a normal hug. Thranduil wanted to feel her there, he cried his tears into her chest, cries becomming louder as he clung desparately to her. He could feel his own chest heaving and coughs escaping his throat, tear wetting Tharwen's shoulder.

* * *

Bilbo watched as the Elvenking broke down and clung to Tharwen like a lost child. He watched as each minute passed in the growing silence his thoughts chipped away at his cold and heartless exterior and showed the hobbit the King of The  _Greenwood._ Bilbo watched as he cried and hiccuped into Tharwens shoulder, hands twisting the fabric off her clothes tightly, holding onto her like his life depended on it. His calm and collected composure lost in the sense of fear and anguish that engulf him with his fears of losing something, someone to be exact.

* * *

"I don't want to lose you... Not again." He blubbered through tears, coughing fits and sobs.

"You won't lose me." She whispered to him, arms wrapping around his back and pressing kisses to the top of his head. "Not this time, not again." She stroked his hair.

"I can't lose you, without you, it won't be right. Legolas won't have anyone to look up to. I won't have anyone to turn to anymore." He sobbed.

"You won't lose me, you won't lose me, never, I will never go again. I won't go." She promised him.

* * *

Tharwen could feel his tears, his shoulders shaking under her arms, his breath coming in shaky gasps. She looked up at a shadow that passed.  _Bilbo!_ She thought,fingers carding through Thranduils hair.

Tharwen shot a glare that said 'Do not tell anyone about this or else you're dead.' in Bilbo's direction before softly whispering a lullaby to Thranduil.

"Melmë nóren sina, núra ala Eäro nu.  
Ilfirin nairelma, ullumë nucuvalmë.  
Nauva i nuava.

Ú i vethed nâ i onnad,  
Si boe ú-dhanna.  
Ae ú-esteli, esteliach nad.

Estelio han, estelio han, estelio,  
estelio han, estelio veleth,  
Esteliach nad, estelio han.

Ai! laurië, lantar lassi súrinen,  
yéni únotimë ve, ramar aldaron!  
yéni ve lintë....  
Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien.  
Sinomë maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar metta.

Uich gwennen na 'wananth ah na dhín.  
An uich gwennen na ringyrn ambar hen.  
Boe naid bain gwannathar.  
Boe cuil ban firitha.  
Boe naer gwannathach...

Naur vi eryn,  
Ianc i dalaf.  
Mathach vi geven?  
Nostach wi 'willith?  
Mâb le i nagor,  
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel.  
Dortach vi mar han?  
Dagrathach go hain?" 

She sang to him, feeling him melt into her embrace, he stopped sobbing but was stilll sniffling with his head pressed into her shoulder.

"You promise me, that if you join this fight brother. You won't give up, not on me, not on yourself?" She asked putting two fingers under his chin and tilting his head up to look at her, his cerulean eyes still filled with unshed tears.

* * *

Bilbo slipped out off the room at the ask off the promise and escaped down to the dungeons to see the dwarves.

"Tharwen, how is she?" Thorin asked as he popped back into view.

"She's with Thranduil."

"With him? Why?" He asked softly, looking at Bilbo.

"I can't tell you." Bilbo said.

"Why?" Thorin asked in a hurt tone.

"It's not my place to tell." Bilbo shook his head.

* * *

 

 

 

"But you, you're-"

"No buts, you promise me, Thranduil, you promise me. You promise me you won't give up."

_Tharwen could remember the time when they were children, Thranduil fell down a small cliff while they were hunting, she remember how scared she was when he stopped breathing as he hit the ground. He stopped moving, the few minutes, that felt like hours, and then he opened his eyes, the same cerulean eyes, looking up at her with tears flooding down his face. The terror off losing him caught her as she could do nothing but hold him as he cried._

_"You promise me, Thrandy, you promise me. You promise me you won't give up." She heard herself tell him. "We'll be alright, we'll be just fine. Okay, I promise you, whatever happens, we'll be alright. You promise me? You won't give up hope that we'll be alright."_

_She remember him asking her if she was going to leave him there, if she was going to leave him. His tears had already soaked into the front off her shirt._

_"I won't leave you." She said softly, she cradled his head in her lap and pressed as kiss to his forehead. "I promise you I won't leave you."_

"I won't give up. I won't." He promised her. He nuzzeled his nose into her neck.

"I know you won't. I just needed to know that you'll promise me that." She said with a soft, gentle smile.

 

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

 

**Translations (Sindarin):**

***These are parts from the Elven lullabies in Lotr.**

[](http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/elvish/spokenelvish/96-evenstar-fiona-mcneal.wav) **Ú i vethed nâ i onnad.  
Si boe ú-dhanna.  
Ae ú-esteli, esteliach nad.  
Estelio han, estelio han, estelio,  
estelio han, estelio veleth.  
Esteliach nad, estelio han.**

'It's not the end, it is the beginning.  
You mustn't falter now.  
If you don't trust it, trust something.  
Trust this, trust this, trust,  
Trust this, trust love.  
You trust something, trust this.'

[](http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/elvish/spokenelvish/92-gandalflament-cody-leatzow.wav) **Melmë nóren sina  
núra ala Eäro nur  
Ilfirin nairelma   
ullumë nucuvalmë  
Nauva i nauva**

Our love for this land  
Is deeper than the deeps  
Of the sea.  
Our regret is undying  
Yet we will cast all away  
Rather than submit.  
What should be shall be.

[](http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/elvish/spokenelvish/93-namaarie-eve-haegele.wav) **Ai! laurië lantar lassi súrinen,  
yéni únotimë ve ramar aldaron!  
yéni ve lintë…  
Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien.  
Sinomë maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' Ambar-metta!**

'Alas! golden leaves fall in the wind,  
long years numberless as the wings of trees!  
Long years like swift…'  
'Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I am come.  
In this place I will abide, and my heirs, unto the ending of the world!'

[](http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/elvish/spokenelvish/98-breathlife-aaron-shaw.wav) **Uich gwennen na 'wanath ah na dhín.  
An uich gwennen na ringyrn ambar hen.  
Boe naid bain gwannathar,  
Boe cuil ban firitha.  
Boe naer gwannathach…**

'You are not bound to loss and silence.  
For you are not bound to the circles of this world.  
All things must pass away,  
All life is doomed to fade.  
Sorrowing you must go…

[](http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/elvish/spokenelvish/97-entmoot-camden-jenkins.wav) **Naur vi eryn,  
lanc i dalaf.  
Mathach vi geven?  
Nostach vi 'wilith?  
Mâb le i nagor,  
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel.  
Dorthach vi mar han?  
Dagrathach go hain?**

'The woods are burning,  
the ground lies bare.  
Do you feel it in the earth?  
Can you smell it in the air?  
The war is upon you,  
Death moves in the fading light.  
Are you part of this world?  
Will you join their fight?'

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Tharwen held Thranduil who curled into a ball on her lap. He wasn't asleep, just looking at her longingly and sadly, playing with her hair that fell over her shoulders. 

"It feels like we're little again, doesn't it?" He asked softly.

"We'll always be children at heart."

"Yes. You'll always be my little sister right?" He asked, twirling her hair in between two fingers, with wide, innocent eyes.

Tharwen smiled gently down at Thranduil. 

He looked so vulnerable and scared, Tharwen kissed his forehead softly and hugged him closer, whispering in his ear. "I'll always be your little baby sister Thrandy. No matter what happens."

"I love you." Thranduil said smiling, half braiding Tharwens hair.

"I love you too."

There was a small silence before Thranduil spoke up again.

"Remember when we used to fool around, and you promised if you never met your One, you would love me?" He asked, sitting up so he could rest his head on Tharwen's shoulder.

"Yes I do, and I meant it."

"You told me, that you told Thorin you couldn't love any other race... Why did you tell him that?"

"Because I didn't want to tell him I did not love him. It's not fair for him, to love me when my heart does not return his feelings." She said, leaning back with Thranduil still resting against her shoulder and staring up at the ceiling, well she would, if she could see.

"You lied to him." 

"It's better than what would have happened, with Dharwen dead, there's no one the Kiz'lan can attempt to attack. If I grow too attached to them now, I'll lose them. I'm doing this to keep everyone safe." She said,leaning her head against his.

"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,  
Not a footprint to be seen.  
A kingdom of isolation,  
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,  
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see,  
Be the good girl you always have to be.  
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know,  
Well, now they know.  
  
Let it go, let it go,  
Can’t hold it back anymore.  
Let it go, let it go,  
Turn away and slam the door.

I don’t care,  
What they’re going to say.  
Let the storm rage on,  
The cold never bothered me anyway.  
  
It’s funny how some distance.  
Makes everything seem small,  
And the fears that once controlled me.  
Can’t get to me at all.  
  
It’s time to see what I can do,  
To test the limits and break through.  
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,  
I’m free.  
  
Let it go, let it go,  
I am one with the wind and sky.  
Let it go, let it go,  
You’ll never see me cry.  
  
Here I stand,  
And here I'll stay,  
Let the storm rage on.  
  
My power flurries through the air into the ground.  
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around.  
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast,  
I’m never going back,  
The past is in the past.  
  
Let it go, let it go,  
When I'll rise like the break of dawn.  
Let it go, let it go,  
That perfect girl is gone.  
  
Here I stand,  
In the light of day.  
Let the storm rage on,  
The cold never bothered me anyway." She sang softly, the room soon shining with a soft bright glow.

"Your magic." Thranduil said watching, softly gasping as swirls simmered on the wall infront off them, leaving patterns carved into the walls. 

Tharwen slung an arm around Thranduil, eyelids dropping low and a small smile playing on her lips.

"Is it beautiful brother?" She asked him.

"Yes it is, just like you." He complimented.

Tharwen closed her eyes, the magic and Thranduil's presence brought back memories, emotions and a sense of security.

 

* * *

 

 

_"You have to be careful. This fight could might as well kill you." Dharwen whispered to her with a worried expression etched onto his face._

_"I'll be allright, if anything happens I know when to shift." She replied._

_He cupped her face and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I could never live with myself if you got hurt." He pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her close._

_"We have to fight for our people, for our land." Tharwen said, tilting Dharwen's head up to look at him with fiery eyes. "We can do this." She smiled._

_They looked out over the battlements and gazed down at the army below the walls. They were gruesome creatures, with marred flesh and scared spirits, glowing red eyes with sharp teeth. In the center of the army stood a man cloaked in black leather and armour, helmet on his head and spear raised in one hand and a mace in the other._

_He seemed to lock eyes with Tharwen, giving her a sadistic grin and drew a line across his throat...._

 

* * *

 

 

The memory shifted as Tharwen saw her own past, Thranduil, Elrond, Glorfindel and her arguing among each other before she had shoved Elrond into a stream, Thranduil being done the same by Glorfindel.

_"That was mean!" Thranduil spluttered as he and Elrond waded out from the stream and proceded to hug her and Glorfindel._

_"Don't get my clothes wet!" She shouted when Thranduil lunged at her._

_"Shouldn't have pushed me in darling!" Thranduil said catching her and lifting her up in a hug._

_As she was lifted over Thranduil's head she could see Elrond tackled into the ground and Glorfindel on top of him, ruffling his hair with a wide grin on his face._

_"Best friends forever!" Glorfindel cried out as Thranduil and Tharwen joined the two rolling on the ground._

_"Definitely!" She smiled before bursting into giggles as Thranduil and Elrond began poking her sides, Glorfindel holding her legs._

_"I love you all." He managed through her gasps and the boys stopped._

_She was then wrapped by three sets off sweaty limbs and sweaty, wet and cold chests that squashed her between each other, arms and legs wrapping around her like vices._

_"Awee." Elrond cooed._

_Glorfindel pressed kisses to her face as Thranduil squeezed her harder in a hug._

_"I love you too." He said looking at her with his eyes wide and innocent, before they, the four off them, were forced to face the darkening world, as the glazed over with tears._

 

 

* * *

 

 

_  
_Tharwen could hear Thranduil's unspoken words that were in his eyes.

_"I love you, I'll love you forever and ever. You, me, Elrond and Glorfindel." His eyes said._

_She felt her own eyes tearing up as Elrond and Glorfindel chimed in with cries of, "Me three." and "Me four!"_

_"I love you all!" She says again, managing to wrap her arms around the three off them._

 

* * *

 

 

 

The scene switched and she saw herself in her own room, curled up on the bed, the edge off a letter gripped in her hand and tissues scattered across the floor. Face flushed red, eyes sore and bloodshot from crying.

_"Lath'rien!" Someone knocked on the door._

_They were older now. Who would guess, they didn't drift apart like most of their other friendships they hand._

_It was a week before Tharwen's birthday, she remembered that day because she was crying in her room, her father told her that King Oropher and Prince Thranduil could not attend the ceremony._

_"Thrandy!" She threw the door open and jumped into his arms, tears still streaming down her face, wrapping her arms and legs around the Prince of Greenwood who caught her, but stumbled back._

_"Why are you crying?" He asked, pulling her back slightly too look at her. "Did something happen?"_

_"Father said you weren't coming." She sobbed, pulling back into Thranduil's chest._

_"It was supposed to be a surprise." Thranduil said softly, tucking loose strands off her light brown hair behind her ears._

_"It sucked." She said, forcing a laugh._

_"I'm here now." He said, putting Tharwen down and wrapping his arms around her shoulders to pull her in for a proper hug._

_"I thought you weren't coming." She shook her head, smile breaking out across her face, pressing a kiss to Thranduil's lips._

_He smiled into the kiss and backed her into the room, closing the door behind him. "Now you know I'd never miss it." He whispered, closing his eyes and wrapping Tharwen in his arms._

_They stood there for a while, slowly, on the floor, small trails off white flames spread out from beneath the twos feet. There was no heat from the flames, just fire and light. It glowed with fierceness and power, creating patterns that ran around the room, engraved into the stone off the walls and ceiling, frost grew on the ceiling while the flames grew brighter beneath their feet._

_  
_Tharwen felt Thranduil turn and wrap his arms around her waist gently. She leaned into his embrace even more and Thranduil breathed on her neck.

* * *

 

_Skin against skin, the rising heat, that they made... intense touches and lips pressed against each other desperately. Bodies wanting more contact. Their breatheless gasps as they broke apart in the need for air. The white glow off the new flames that had grew and crawled up the side off the room bathed his body, causing him to glow with a silver lining above her._

* * *

_"Tharwen!" He gasps as the break apart to breathe. He's thrusting into her deeper and harder. The heat off the moment is unbearable._

* * *

_"I love you." She breathes as he thrusts into her one last time, claiming her._

* * *

_They lay side by side, breathing heavily, legs intertwined, arms around each other in a mass off tangled limbs, the heat still keeping both off them warm as they came down from their highs._

* * *

_"I love you Tharwen." He whispers to her, holding her as she snuggles into his chest for warmth._

* * *

 

_When Tharwen wakes up the next morning with Thranduil's arms around her. She can't feel more happier in her life, she's content, happy, at peace, but there's a puzzle piece missing and she know Thranduil isn't her one._

_When Thranduil wakes up, he can tell just by the tension in the room, he isn't her one, but he isn't downcasted by the notion, instead he takes her in his arms and kisses her neck briefly. He tells her promises, that it doesn't matter, that he'll love her no matter what, and he still keeps the promise. They both know that last night wasn't because she hoped he was her one, or he wanted to know if she was hers, last night was pure love and friendship coming together in desperate moments._

* * *

_Tharwen wanted Thranduil to be there when she needed him and when she didn't need him she still wanted him around. Thranduil wanted to show Tharwen love she had never been shown before. The devotion to her heart, to keeping her safe, yet allowing her to grow and become the beautiful queen she was today._

 

* * *

 

She didn't realise she was sharing memories with Thranduil until she heard Thranduil's thoughts in her head.

_"I promised you I'd love you." He whispers as they both lay on the bed, curled up in each others embrace._


	14. Chapter 14

' _Howling ghosts – they reappear  
_ _In mountains that are stacked with fear  
_ _But you're a king and I'm a lionheart.  
_ _And in the sea that's painted black,  
_ _Creatures lurk below the deck  
_ _But you're a king and I'm a lionheart.  
_ _A lionheart.'_

* * *

_White embers are falling from the sky and Thranduil and Tharwen are standing together as the aftermath of Tharwen's magic burns everything in sight till the horizen, leaving charred lands and small white fires burning around them._

_There's burnt and marred flesh of dead bodies around them, some recognizable helmets, belonging to orcs, goblins and the gruesome creatures that serve the Kiz'lan, others too burnt to be recognized._

_Blood is glinting in the white flames and Tharwen can hear Thranduil whispering to her, pinning a brooch to her leather vest over her armour. He cups her neck with both hands, locking his fingers and he gives her a kiss on the cheek._

_Realization hits her and so does grief and she breaks down crying, falling to her knees and Thranduil follows her, kneeling in front off her as she cries for Dharwen._

**_' "We have to fight for our people, for our land." Tharwen said, tilting Dharwen's head up to look at him with fiery eyes. "We can do this." She smiled._ **

**_They looked out over the battlements and gazed down at the army below the walls. They were gruesome creatures, with marred flesh and scared spirits, glowing red eyes with sharp teeth. In the center of the army stood a man cloaked in black leather and armour, helmet on his head and spear raised in one hand and a mace in the other._ **

**_He seemed to lock eyes with Tharwen, giving her a sadistic grin and drew a line across his throat....'_ **

_She holds onto Thranduil as she cries, screams into the air, shouts and curses at the sky before growing quiet. She can feel a burn in her heart and suddenly one half, she feels, grows cold and she loses some off her will to live._

_She becomes aware that Thranduil's holding her still, tears falling freely from his eyes as well, one off his hands carding through her hair, offering comfort. He whispers to her and tells her everything will be alright again._

Tharwen opens her eyes, blinking the sleep away and finds that she's still curled up with Thranduil, she could feel his soft breathing, his breath hitting her neck at every exhale where he's burried his face into the side off her neck. She could hear his soft, kitten like snores that she deemed adorable from the beginning off their friendship. She could smell the berry essence in his shampoo, the one she deemed was way to girly for Thranduil to use. She could feel the bare skin of his palm resting on her forearm comfortably and protectively.

"Cold as ice and more bitter than a december winter night, that's how I treated you, and I know that I sometimes I tend to lose my temper and that I cross the line. That's the truth, I know it gets hard sometimes but I could never leave your side. No matter what I say, cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now but, I really need you near me to keep my mind off the edge. If I wanted to leave I would have left by now but you're the only one that knows me, better than I know myself." She confessed, turning to gaze down at Thranduils' blurry figure cuddled into her side. "You stopped me from losing my mind." She smiled down at him, feeling him stir.

"Hey." He mumbled to her softly.

"Hi." She said softly, feeling strangly more content than usual.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Bored." Her reply came with a gentle smile. "Hungry." She listed, turning to face him. "Trapped."

"I think, I still have your violin. If you want to play?" 

"You kept it?" She asked, forcing herself to sit up.

"Of course I did, what kind off brother would I be if I didn't keep one off your most prized possessions." He retorted. 

"A pretty bad one." She joked looking at him with a bright smile.

"Of course." He drawled sarcastically.

"Yes, dear brother, because you would be the most idiotic in the world to get rid off my violin, especially when I'm so attached to it, more than it is possibly safe for my mental health." She shot back with the same amount of mirth in her tone.

"Of course it isn't safe for your mental health, you're attraction to the thing is un-natural and drives me crazy wondering why you got one that looks so dark and solemn."

"The thing was painted black tôr iuar”, not like you'd understand with your ugly taste in clothes. Your favourite colour is silver, although it brings out your hair quite nicely and your eyes. I prefer dark clothing anyway you know that!" She ranted.


	15. Chapter 15

*3 days later*

(She has her eyesight back)

 

 

 

  * * * *




 

 

 

"How about no!" Thranduil shouted.

 

"How about yes!" Tharwen retorted.

 

"By Elbereth Thranduil I thought you'd understand?" She cried, glaring half hearted daggers at him.

 

"That you want another death wish? That you'll give up what we have for this quest?  I understand that perfectly fine." Thranduil sighed, defeated. "I just can't watch you leave me anymore." He whispered, turning to walk away from her.

 

"Don't you dare walk away from me Thrandy! Don't you dare!" She growled, the sound of her heavy breathing filled the silence off the room.

 

"But whose doing the real walking away?" He asked softly without looking back at her. "I can't deal with this anymore dammit Tharwen!" He scowled silently. "What we have, we've had for over two millennia and you're going to throw that all away. I can't keep on doing this, I can't do it.....I love you Tharwen!"

 

"You can't do this!" She shot back in disbelief. "Who was the one who ran into the onslaught off an oncoming battle with no care whatsoever, with the one who he loved unable to stop him? Who was the one who was the very wish that was never granted?"

 

"I'm not you! I can't hide away all my feelings and just move on with my life, I can't just get off a few quick fucks with you and be content with the rest off my life, by Elbereth, I am just not you. You talk about wanting to live here, with me, or we can run to Lorien, or to Imlardis, or maybe to somewhere no one knows to be with each other forever, but you never do it!" He screamed back.

 

Tharwen blinked angrily at the tears that threatened to fall. The hall was silent, Thranduil looked at her with a grief-stricken expression.

 

"I wish I could quit you, turn away and never come back, to leave and save you the heart ache." She whispered. "I fucking wish I could Thrandy, but I can't, I can't because I need what we fucking have, this stopped me from running. Even now, right now, I just want you, I want you so fucking bad it's not easy Thrandy it was never easy! I couldn't fucking... I couldn't......" She choked on the words. "I can't quit you, even if it meant saving my life." Her voice cracked. 'I can't, I won't.... I can’t just leave. I’m a queen, you’re a king. We have our own places to rule. It wouldn't work out, I thought you knew that." She muttered.

"I need you. I need us." He choked out. "Let yourself have me. Stop punishing yourself. Give in. I'm right here. For you, I always have and I always will be. Just do it."

"Has it always been this painful? To not try not to love you? Because it feels like you've taken my heart and tossed it over a cliff, and watched it hit the ground while laughing." She snapped at Thranduil, no real heat behind her words, instead her eyes were blurry with tears. "We, us, this, together, forever! You weren't the only one!" She cried. "I want this so badly. Thrandy...." She said, her voice in a whisper. "I need this. I'm scared, I want it, I need it, I wish I could have it everyday, everyday with you, I'm just scared. I don't want to lose you. Remember when we were kids, I made you promise to never give up, when really I should have done that to myself because I did. I gave up." Her whispers were scratchy and rough, voice cracking and breaking after every few words.

“No.... you didn’t.” Thranduil muttered turning around in a whirl of silver silk and stalking towards her, his cold and calm composure returned and the iron set into his shoulders, lips pressed thin and bloodless. “You didn’t give up because you’re standing here with me now. Because you’re here right now, because whatever we do, there’s no mistaking what we have.” Thranduil whispered, shoulders relaxing, but his eyes still frosted over, imitating a frozen lake.

He cupped her cheek, tilting her head up to look at him with a gentle, kind smile. “Beautiful.” He whispered, tucking her hair away, running his fingers through it, before leaning closer, breathing against her lips. “Gorgeous.” He said murmuringly, placing his lips on hers in a chaste kiss, another hand cupping the nape of her neck. “Perfect.” He growled half heartedly, kissing her again, both hands cupping her face and pulled her closer.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer roughly, scraping her nails across the smooth fabric covering his back. He growled into the kiss, pushing her back until she felt her back meet the wall, leaving her pinned against, pulling her hands above her head, holding them tight with one hand while the other tilted her chin up to expose the flesh on her neck.

“Will you stop punishing yourself, and indulge in the deep desires of your heart?” He asked softly, between kisses on her neck. “Of my heart?”

“Fucking hell,Thrandy, you planned this didn’t you.” She gasped as he bit down on her neck viciously. “You’re a, manipulative, bastard.” She rasped, kissing him back, tugging her hands out off his grip and pulling him against her.

“Do you want me to indulge in my guilty pleasures?” He taunted, pulling her away from the wall and towards the corridor, still stealing kisses and keeping his arms gripping her waist, backing her away from the hall towards their room.

“You know we shouldn’t be doing this?” She rasped, eyes clouded with lust, pulling away (unsuccessfully) uncertainly. 

“I don’t care, I’ve waited too long for this, far too long, I know you have too.”

 

 

 

 

  * * * *




 

 

“Take off the ring.” Thranduil murmured in her ear, tugging gently at the lobe with his teeth.   


Tharwen slipped the ring off her finger, reaching across him to put it on the bedside drawers.

 

 

 

  * * * *




 

“Don’t fall asleep.” She muttered, tugging on his hair.

 

They lay on their bed wrapped up in sheets, legs tangled together, Tharwen glancing at Thranduil giving him small, gentle smiles.

 

“I’m not.” Thranduil mumbled, faced pressed into the pillow.

 

“Yes you are.” She said back to him. “Turn around and look at me.”

 

Thranduil shifted, propping himself up onto his elbows and turned his head to look at her, blinking rapidly.

 

“I love you, always have.” He said, leaning sideways, pressing a kiss on her cheek. “Always will.” He smiled.

 

“I...” She took a deep breath, blinking slowly. “I love you too.” She confessed.

 

 

 

  * * * *




 

 

“Let them go? Please?” Tharwen asked, sitting in between Thranduil’s legs on the throne, leaning her head against his chest.

 

“You really believe they can succeed in this quest?” He asked, braiding her hair back from her temples.

 

“Yes I do.” She said confidently, letting him wrap his legs around her.

 

“Will you stay with me, if I let them leave?”

 

“What do you believe?” She mocked before sighing, “I will go with them, only to see Bilbo stay safe and that stubborn dwarf not hurt him if he falls to the gold sickness.”

 

“And what I am to do to convince you that you should stay here?”

 

“Nothing, because I have made up my mind.” She said.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

_((Previously in Chapter 15)_

 

_“What do you believe?” She mocked before sighing, “I will go with them, only to see Bilbo stay safe and that stubborn dwarf not hurt him if he falls to the gold sickness.”_

 

_“And what I am to do to convince you that you should stay here?”_

 

_“Nothing, because I have made up my mind.” She said.)_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Thorin never knew what Mahâl had planned for him in this life, he always thought he’d stay in Erebor, leading wars every so often and ruling over his people. He thought he’d find a dwarrow-dam and make her his queen, he thought he’d have his brother and sister as his advisors, by his side when he needed them. He always imagined the perfect life. Mahâl save him, this was not what he prepared for, at all.

 

He had learnt when he was younger, a king reserved his love for his people, as he could never share his own fully with another, but yet he thought he knew love, he thought he knew grief.

 

He thought he knew love when he was in Erebor, with his father, a wise king, his mother, the princess consort, with her wise words and calming expression, her caring nature and how she was fiercely loyal. His brother, who was the shining sun in his life, inheriting his mother’s golden hair and her jaw and nose, who’s laugh was deep and raspy, yet when he drank too much ale, grew loud and booming. like a rumble of thunder before a storm, his smile was one only reserved for family, that stupid smile he had on his face, even at the doors off death. His sister by his side, calm and cool like the earth, she was always the smart one, quick to judge yet quick to accept, it sounded all quite contradictory, but that was Dis, like from the rock she was carved from, she was head strong, could handle her own in any fight, could stand up for those and others. Stubborn as an ox, but as wise as an owl. She was the stone and the earth, holding him up when he felt like he was falling.

 

If Frerin was the sun, and Dis the earth, Thorin was the moon. Cold and distant, but always there if you just looked. He was either out fighting or inside writing, never one for parties and celebrations, he supposed, that’s what made the three, who they were, it made them the three heirs of Durin, the two princes and the princess.

 

Thorin thought he knew grief when Erebor fell, losing your home was never an easy thing, but to lose it so easily. He thought he knew grief when his mother died. He thought he knew it when he watched his grandfather fall to Azog the Defiler. He thought he knew grief when he held his baby brother in his arms, blood dribbling down Frerin’s chin as he coughed up blood, giving Thorin that perfect smile of his, saying he would see him in the afterlife. He thought he knew, when his father left on this very same quest and was found tortured, halfway into madness.

 

He thought he couldn’t love again until he found out that his sister was pregnant with child. He was happy for his sister, her and Vílli, that idiotic dwarf who he’d grown to love as a brother, with his blonde hair and azure eyes that matched Frerin’s, were overjoyed, what surprised Thorin, was what he felt when Dis let him carry Fili in his arms. The overwhelming desire to protect baby Fili shocked him, he didn’t want to let him go, wanted to keep him curled up in his chest, train him with the sword and axe, help him learn to ride a pony and look after him like the uncle he deserves and the uncle he’ll never meet. Five years later he feels exactly the same, Kili comes along and it’s the same thing with both him and Fili, since he was born, Fili could never be separated from Kili, he was the first to hold him, first to make Kili smile, to draw a garbled giggle from Kili with cooed promises to keep him safe and look after him.

 

He feels grief again, and this time, so does Dis and Fili, Kili too young to understand that, his adad isn’t coming home to him anymore, he’s only three, and Fili eight, too young to be exposed to so much pain. Vílli takes an axe to the neck, meant for him, so that Erid Luin could have a king. Then he’s holding Vílli in his arms and it feels like the Battle of Azanulbizar, and he’s holding Frerin in his arms smiling even in death all over again, but the words are different, they’re making him promise to be the father Kili will never have, the father Fili will need when he gets back to Dis and the boys, that he’ll look after them. He’s pleading with him to keep his eyes focused and to look at him, that’ll he’ll make it home to the boys and be the father Thorin could never be, but by the end off it, there’s tears running down Vílli’s face, and Thorin’s too. He gives Vílli a proper burial, closes his eyes, then returns with the rest off their party to break the bad news to Dis. Kili was crying, curled up in Thorin’s and clutching his hair tightly, Fili stands there, frozen, his azure eyes glossed over, staring into empty space, he stays like that for what feels like hours, then he lets out a screech, that’s crossed with a sob, it snaps Kili out of his crying and he stares at his brother in complete confusion. Thorin doesn’t know what to do, he just holds them, and he knows in his heart he’ll do anything to protect his nephews.

 

He was never good with many outside his own race, let alone elves, or anything with elven blood in him. He never forgave Thranduil for turning his back on Erebor or helping them reclaim the Mines of Moria, he blamed them to be the reason that so many died that day, including his little brother Frerin. He never forgave Thranduil for leaving them to wander the wilderness after Erebor was claimed by Smaug. Where he led his people, the sense of death followed behind, they lost anyone who was too injured or too sick to follow.

 

He never forgave the taunts off men as he worked as a blacksmith, earning what ever he could for his people.

 

He never forgot.

 

Thorin never thinks he’ll fall in love, let alone with someone from outside his race. He doesn’t expect to fall in love for the rest of his life, he thinks love is only a seed for grief to grow and he avoids it. He doesn’t want to. So when he firsts meets Tharwen, as she came crashing through the undergrowth on a horse, glaring straight at the wizard _-with that glare that rivaled his on a bad day_ -he just felt something inside him snap.

 

He was intrigued, not at first, he was wary, she was secretive, took to the Halfling, Nori and Bofur, his nephews, other than that keeping to herself, muttering and mumbling under her breath, making calculations out loud when she thought no one was listening.

 

Her right hand adorned with rings, studded with gems, whilst a simple plain silver ring lay on her middle finger.

 

‘Till death do us part.’ He heard her say one night.

 

He saw grief in her eyes, and he could recognize pain in her eyes. Through the smiles she sent everyones way and the laughs that were smooth and calming, he saw her hide her pain. 

 

He wanted to hold her like Vílli held Dis when they heard the news about their father, comforting her and making her feel happy again.

 

He pinpoints the moment where he actually falls in love with her; when he sees her with the Elves at Rivendell, he knows he wants to be the reason for her smiles, and her laughter. He wants to chase the darkness away and hold her heart in his hands, or lock it in a chest and throw away the key so he won’t break it.

 

But he doesn’t want to break his own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

They were guided out off the forest by a trio of silent elves that Tharwen didn’t recognize.

 

“Is everyone okay? No one got hurt?” Tharwen asked, glancing up and noticing the leaves falling, in vibrant shades of red, orange and brown.

 

A chorus of no’s was thrown back and she nodded. “Autumn...” She muttered, eyes glancing at Thorin fleetingly.

 

“We don’t have that much time.” Balin said knowingly.

 

“We need to get to Esgaroth. Quickly.”

 

“There’s still a journey off a day or two.” Thorin said consulting his map, and Tharwen can find it in herself to give them a small, gentle smile, until she remembers what’s lying under all the gold in that Mahal forsaken mountain.

 

_‘Two days until we face Smaug.’_ She thought, smile dropping into a frown.

 

“You look deep in thought. Anything we should be concerned about?” Balin asked her.

 

“No, just... wondering whether the past effects the future.” She replied.

 

“If you’re worried about the orcs, I doubt they could make it through that forest.” Nori added.

 

“Even if they went into that forest, Thranduil won’t let ‘em get out, he owes me that much.” 

 

“What would Thranduil, do to help with this quest?” Thorin asked.

 

“Who do you think bargained with him to let you go?”

 

“You didn’t? What did you do?” He half-growled.

 

* * *

 

 

_-”We had a deal!” She remember Dharwen screaming at the gruesome creature kneeling over him, pinning him to the floor, knife in his side. He coughs out blood and she can feel the life draining out on him-_

 

- _Tharwen can see the fire in his eyes when he gets up, pushes himself off the wall and he grins, grins so widely, showing his full canines and his grin then twists into a sadistic smile, Dharwen’s laying on his back, coughing up blood, choking out profanities-_

 

_-She hold his head in her lap and half her heart dies with him, it doesn’t hurt as much as she thought it would, and she relives that nightmare every night for the next few months. Remembering how pathetic and weak she felt as he died-_

 

_-There’s a commotion in the courtyard, and she runs out onto the balcony, her baby brother is in a stretcher, there’s a sword in his chest and slashes running up and across his abdomen. A healer’s trying to staunch the bleeding, pressing down hard but by the waxy undertone of his skin, turned a sickly yellow and the gushing blood slowing down, there’s blood dribbling down his chin, a cut above his left eyebrow, and his arm can’t move, his wrist mangled and twisted out of shape-_

 

_-Another healer puts a salve on Fharwen’s eyes and a week later when he opens them, they’re pure white and she knows he’ll never see again, always to be considered vulnerable-  
_

_-The thing, it would always be a thing with it’s dark eyes and marred face, laughs, and laughs and laughs, and taunts her until she shifts, and she unleashes her magic-_

 

* * *

 

 

“What did you do?”

 

“We made a deal, after a while, we argued for a bit, then fought, a lot of yelling was involved.” She said bluntly.

 

“What would he want from you?”

 

“Something I promised him when we were children.”

 

“What?” Thorin narrowed his eyes.

 

“My soul, for your freedom.” She muttered, shrugging nonchalantly.

 

“Your soul- What do you mean?”

 

“It’s something I think you don’t need to know.” She said. 

 

“But.”

 

“Just drop it.”

 

“I think that we should discuss this.” Bilbo said softly. “Tharwen you know the consequences of what you’ve done?’

 

“And I really don’t think this is an appropriate place to do this.” She retorted, “Shall we get moving?” She asked Thorin.

 

He looked uncertainly at her, then at the amber leaves falling onto the ground, and he nods. “We move out and rest at sundown.” He ordered and the company gathered what remained of their packs that the elves had given them, and set off. Tharwen’s mind wandering back to Thranduil and Mirkwood, although it would always be the Greenwood to her. _Always._

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**_Chapter 17:::::: UNTITLED:::::_ **

 

 

**_Previously on Chapter 16:_ **

 

_((He looked uncertainly at her, then at the amber leaves falling onto the ground, and he nods. “We move out and rest at sundown.” He ordered and the company gathered what remained of their packs that the elves had given them, and set off. Tharwen’s mind wandering back to Thranduil and Mirkwood, although it would always be the Greenwood to her. Always.))_

 

 

* * *

]

 

Dwalin was always suspicious of other races, they either looked down on him because off his height, or the fact he was covered in scars, had a long beard, was a dwarf.

 

When he met that fussy little hobbit, who had treated them as respectfully as he could as they arrived, obviously unaware that the dwarrows were to be coming to dinner, was kind enough to give him his food, his supper, and in the end joined this mad quest.

 

Dwalin, although no one ever really noticed, was extremely observant.

 

He met Tharwen; there was something about the girl, Dwalin couldn’t quite pinpoint, he first thought it was how she spoke about her race with so much passion and wonder, or how she kept to Nori, Bofur, the princes and the hobbit. Then he thought it was because her glares and scowls could rival Thorin’s, like when Dis pushed him into raging rapids when his beard came in before hers. Or was it the soft smiles she gave that reminded him of Balin. It could have been that she treated everyone, excluding Thorin and Gandalf, fairly and had offered to help them.

 

Then he noticed her unwavering loyalty, her caring nature, the kindness she offered, her fiery passion when it came to those she cared about, how unnaturally beautiful she was when fought, it looked like her blades were dancing in the fire light.

 

It was her carefree nature around the elves that first pushed him to want to forge a friendship with her. She had told them, _‘I know them, I can trust them.’_ She had let them coddle and hold her.

 

But he could not shake the looks off grief she gave the company once they had passed Beorns.

 

It was like despair had settled into her heart and had locked it’s talons into the sides, unrelenting and unwavering. She watched the company with a sad frown on her face, before putting a fake smile and forcing a fake laugh.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The walkway to Lake Town was just a rickety old jetty. At the gates, there were two guards, with mugs of ale on a small table in between them and weapons leaning against the wooden walls.

 

They managed to make it three quarters across the walkway before the guards had noticed them and  called out for them to stop.

 

“Stop! Who are you and why are you entering this town?” One asked, fumbling for his sword.

 

“I am Thorin, son of Thrain, son or Thror, King Under The Mountain.”

 

“You’re a dwarf.” The other guard said in wonder.

 

“And you’re an idiot.” Nori added in return.

 

“We wish to speak to the Master of this town if you will.” Balin said diplomatically to the two guards.

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

“And you say you are the King of the mountain?” The Master of Lake Town asked.

Thorin nodded in conformation.

“We have come to ask for your permission to stay in your town for a few days.” Balin said calmly. “We have had a long journey and are very weary.”

“O-of course.” The Master bumbled in surprise. 

“Thank you.” Thorin thanked.

“Also, if you could provide for a way for use to acquire transport to the mountain. It would be appreciated.” Balin added.

“Y-yes, yes of course. Good sir.” He stumbled and gave a nod of gratitude.

“Now if we could leave, we would like to get some rest, we are tired.” Thorin said and the Master nodded. 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________

 

 

“I thought you would be asleep.” Thorin said, walking out to the balcony, seeing Tharwen sitting in a chair with her knees pulled up against her chest chin resting against them, staring out into the moonlit night.

“I will get some sleep later.” She said softly.

“You’ve been quiet, what’s wrong.” He took in her appearance. Dark circles under her eyes, looking like she’d been punched in the face. Her face had become pale and her skin was waxy.

“When a Tharken sells their soul, it means they are mated with someone after they have met their bonded.” She explained tiredly. “And since my bonded is dead, half my soul is spent. And the rest of it is back in that forest.”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“When I was younger, the night before my coming of age, I bonded with someone that wasn’t my bonded, so my soul was partially intertwined with theirs. I promised them, if anything had happened to my bonded, I would give them what was left of my soul.” She squeezed her eyes shut.

“Thorin.” She said painfully. “Why is this such a big deal to you?”

_Because I want to keep you safe, because I want to lock you away with all the gold in Erebor and not let anyone come near you, because I love you._

Thorin did not voice those concerns instead, he answered her with a determined scowl on his face. 

“Because I care about you.”

“This isn’t a fairytale Thorin, it won’t be happily ever after.” Her nose crinkled in annoyance.

“I never said that it would be.” He snapped.

“But you expect it to be don’t you? Have you ever thought that you might die because off this quest, that Fili and Kili might lose their uncle, the dwarves of Erebor would lose their king. That I could lose you? I’ve seen many die in my life, I don’t think I could see anyone else, in this company, die, _especially you_.”

Thorin froze, the thought off being so close to home, had diverted him from his concentration, from his focus, and he’d forgotten his company. She didn’t have to raise her voice to make him feel ashamed. Did he really want to risk his nephews, his One and kin? Without thinking first.

“You underestimate how much people care for you Thorin Oakenshield.”

“I..” He trailed off, unable to answer.

“You, are their leader. You, are their king. You belong in that mountain, leading your people and giving them a peaceful life. Don’t waste your life, and go reclaim your kingdom.” She said. “Then maybe I can get back to mine.” She muttered under her breath.

“You’re crazy, you’re crazy but I love you. You’re stubborn, wise, caring, loyal, crazy, beautiful, and I love you for it. I’d give up this dammed quest for you.” He sighed.

“Go to sleep Thorin.” She said softly.

“But?”

“No, we aren’t going to discuss this. Go. To. Sleep.”

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________

_“Where are you? Where are you hiding? Where are you little one?” It was a gruesome being, marred and rotten flesh, fresh and dried blood splattered on his face. It’s twisted grin and sadistic laugh flooded her mind, haunting her memories._

 

_____________________________________________________________________________

 


	18. Chapter 18

_((Previously on Chapter 17))_

 

_(((“Where are you? Where are you hiding? Where are you little one?” It was a gruesome being, marred and rotten flesh, fresh and dried blood splattered on his face. It’s twisted grin and sadistic laugh flooded her mind, haunting her memories.)))_

 

* * *

 

 

 

**_A/N: Okay so don’t be mad but, I’m skipping to when they get into Erebor and both Tharwen and Bilbo have to face Smaug. Because she sees Thorin falling to the gold sickness, when he pulls a sword on Bilbo when they haven’t entered the mountain yet._ **

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Stay quiet you bloody idiot!” She shoved Bilbo behind a pillar, before peering around it, to see a mass of red scales and claws in front of the pillar itself.

 

“Smaug.” She breathed quietly. 

 

“He’s massive.” Bilbo whispered in awe.

 

“And dangerous Bilbo.” She warned. 

 

They both turned away from the dragon ad Tharwen covered her face with her hands. “My shift is driving me mad!” She growled and Bilbo looked at her sympathetically. 

 

“Yes, it should be.” A baritone voice answered her and they both spun around in surprise.

 

“Do you know why? Your shift calls to me Tharken, ah, you’re a princess, what are you doing here? In a kingdom that is not yours.” He asked. “You need me, you need me and you can feel it.”

 

“You son of a rukhul!” 

 

“Bilbo, go, leave, don’t come back, I’ll be fine.” She bit the order out.

 

“What are you going to do?” He asked, inching back.

 

“Go, just go!” He forehead was burning. She should have timed it right, that one week in Mirkwood held the heat back, being with Thranduil stopped the heat from happening a week early.

 

As Bilbo left, Smaugs’ eyes never left hers. She clenched her fists, knuckles turning white and mustered a glare that would have scared a Balrog.

 

“A glare won’t scare me. Come closer pet.”

 

“No.” She pushed him away as he hovered in front of her. 

 

“Come on, you need this, you’ve been away from your soul master for only a while, you should have known it would’ve started by now.

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Oh but you can, I want to see you shift, slowly, scale by scale.” He purred.

 

Fire flickered in the corner of her peripheral vision and against her will, in defense, her wings unfolded. A deep dark navy blue, veins and scales glittering in purple. 

 

“You’re wings are beautiful, imagine how the rest of you would look like.” 

 

Only then Tharwen realized that the man, the dragon in front of her, had his own wings unfolded, a deep blood red and black, and the scales defined. He was tall, clearly taller than most men, his facial feature sharp and defined, that turned a childish face dark and menacing when shadows flickered,a mop full of dark curls stood out from pale skin and golden eyes. His legs were of a dragons only miniature sized, to scale with a humans body, with a dark red robe over his bare chest, held partially closed with a golden chain.

 

“Stop it. Just stop it.” She shouted at him.

 

He inched closer, arms up defensively, giving her a view of black, sharp talons that were in place of nails.

 

“What do you want from me?” 

 

“What you would only give away to your soul master. For the duration of your time here”

 

“No.” She snarled.

 

“I’m the only dragon left, you _need_ me!” He stressed the word ‘need’ stepping closer to her, with a wild grin.

 

“I can go without you, I can.”

 

The feeling of hopelessness settled over here like a heavy burden.

 

“No you can’t, and you know it. Come closer darling, just come a little closer and it’ll be over.”

 

“It’s betrayal and you know it.” She glanced back.

 

“Who will you betray? Your soul master? Because we all know he’s loved you since the day he first laid eyes on you as a child.”

 

“No....” Love at first sight? “What are you saying?” She accused, eyes locking with his.

 

“He’s loved you, your single being for his life since you we’re born. Now you’re here, with me? Is it not simple. You’re drawn to danger, you cannot stay away from something that can hurt you. You are already partially in the Grand Havens?”

 

“I won’t betray him.”

 

“But you can’t control what you do can you?” The voice was now disembodied, and Smaug had disappeared from view.

 

“Where the hell are you?” She back away towards the secret entrance. Backing straight into a solid chest. Cold metal clamped over her neck and she froze, hands automatically reaching up to grasp the collar.

 

“No. No....” She growled and tugged at the collar.

  
Spinning around and shoving Smaug away from her, she stumbled away from him.

 

“Get it off! Take it off!!” She could feel the runes carved into the iron with her fingertips.

 

“Don’t be like that darling. You’re mine now.” He growled.

 

“I’m never yours. I don’t belong to you. You don’t _own_ me.” 

 

“According to that collar, I do.” He smirked.

 

“Take it off!” 

 

Smaug smiled at her and she heard a clinking noise. Cool metal slid against the back of her neck and she screamed.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The chain and collar reminded her about her nightmares; Darien dying. 

 

Thranduil falling off the cliffs edge on a hunting trip.

 

Fharwen stumbling around the palace for the first few weeks since the accident.

 

_There’s a commotion in the courtyard, and she runs out onto the balcony, her baby brother is in a stretcher, there’s a sword in his chest and slashes running up and across his abdomen. Fharwen’s stumbling beside them, limping and another warden is guiding him. A healer’s trying to staunch the bleeding, pressing down hard but by the waxy undertone of his skin, turned a sickly yellow and the gushing blood slowing down, the only thing keeping him alive was willpower, there’s blood dribbling down his chin, a cut above his left eyebrow, and his arm can’t move, his wrist mangled and twisted out of shape, his body bruised and broken, eyes cloudy and staring uncannily up at the sky._

 

_She freezes, dropping the glass ornament she was holding, and ran down into the courtyard. She knelt next to the unmoving stretcher and cradled her brother's head in her hands._

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_   
_

_ "You have to be careful. This fight could might as well kill you." Dharwen whispered to her with a worried expression etched onto his face. _

_  
_

_"I'll be alright, if anything happens I know when to shift." She replied. _

_  
_

_He cupped her face and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I could never live with myself if you got hurt." He pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her close. _

_  
_

_"We have to fight for our people, for our land." Tharwen said, tilting Dharwen's head up to look at him with fiery eyes. "We can do this." She smiled. _

_  
_

_They looked out over the battlements and gazed down at the army below the walls. They were gruesome creatures, with marred flesh and scared spirits, glowing red eyes with sharp teeth. In the center of the army stood a man cloaked in black leather and armour, helmet on his head and spear raised in one hand and a mace in the other. _

_  
_

_He seemed to lock eyes with Tharwen, giving her a sadistic grin and drew a line across his throat.... _

* * *

 

 

_  
_

_"That was mean!" Thranduil spluttered as he and Elrond waded out from the stream and proceded to hug her and Glorfindel. _

_  
_

_"Don't get my clothes wet!" She shouted when Thranduil lunged at her. _

_  
_

_"Shouldn't have pushed me in darling!" Thranduil said catching her and lifting her up in a hug. _

_  
_

_As she was lifted over Thranduil's head she could see Elrond tackled into the ground and Glorfindel on top of him, ruffling his hair with a wide grin on his face. _

_  
_

_"Best friends forever!" Glorfindel cried out as Thranduil and Tharwen joined the two rolling on the ground. _

_  
_

_"Definitely!" She smiled before bursting into giggles as Thranduil and Elrond began poking her sides, Glorfindel holding her legs. _

_  
_

_"I love you all." He managed through her gasps and the boys stopped. _

_  
_

_She was then wrapped by three sets off sweaty limbs and sweaty, wet and cold chests that squashed her between each other, arms and legs wrapping around her like vices. _

_  
_

_"Awee." Elrond cooed. _

_  
_

_Glorfindel pressed kisses to her face as Thranduil squeezed her harder in a hug. _

_  
_

_"I love you too." He said looking at her with his eyes wide and innocent, before they, the four off them, were forced to face the darkening world, as the glazed over with tears. _

__

* * *

 

_ Tharwen could remember the time when they were children, Thranduil fell down a small cliff while they were hunting, she remember how scared she was when he stopped breathing as he hit the ground. He stopped moving, the few minutes, that felt like hours, and then he opened his eyes, the same cerulean eyes, looking up at her with tears flooding down his face. The terror off losing him caught her as she could do nothing but hold him as he cried. _

_  
_

_ "You promise me, Thrandy, you promise me. You promise me you won't give up." She heard herself tell him. "We'll be alright, we'll be just fine. Okay, I promise you, _ _ whatever happens, we'll be alright. You promise me? You won't give up hope that we'll be alright."  _

_  
_

_She remember him asking her if she was going to leave him there, if she was going to leave him. His tears had already soaked into the front off her shirt. _

_  
_

_"I won't leave you." She said softly, she cradled his head in her lap and pressed as kiss to his forehead. "I promise you I won't leave you." _

__

* * *

 

 

"You've been quite rude, ignoring me." Smaug taunted her as she sat at his feet.

  


"Well you put a collar on me, I'm not going to be nice to you." She snapped back.

  


"You are quite dangerous too. Your wings haven't retracted." He noted.

  


"Of course the havent' now if you excuse me, can this collar come off now?" She snarled.

 

* * *

Tharwen continuously fiddled with her collar, flinging and spiting insults at Smaug when he came too close. 

  


“You’ll regret this!” Smaug spat at her, blood mixed with spit landed on the floor with a squelch. 

  


“No I won’t.” She retorted with a smirk. Smaug launched into a flurry of punches, dropping the chain that he was using as a leash. 

  


Tharwen side stepped most punches, feeling two or three glance off her cheeks, another few reaching their mark. She ducked another swing and elbowed him in the chest with an undeniable brute strength that surprised Smaug.

  


“You wanted to see me shift you linther knejimen. I’ll show you shift.” She growled, her eyes beginning to glow to a bright amber, on the thin line to being golden, her back rippling as her wings unfolded, bones cracking, skin shifting, scales forming on her skin, nails growing into claws. In her place perched a large grey and black dragon with shimmering purple scales, letting out a roar that shook the inside of mountain. 

  


“This shall be a fight you will lose.” Smaug snarled in return, letting out a screech, his wings unfolding ten fold as he shifted into his dragon form. A flash of flames was hardly felt as smaug unleashed his fire, Tharwen raising her wings to flap and snuff out the flames. They flew at each other with deadly precision, Smaug although having the advantage of more control in his dragon form, Tharwen not have used it for so long. 

  


“Come and face me!” Smaug roared. 

  


* * *

  


  



	19. Chapter 19

  
  


**Chapter 19**

 

 

 

 

Tharwen opened her eyes, staring up blearily at stone walls and a stone ceiling above her. Her head was throbbing and the was a bandage covering her left eye. She lifted her head to look around and heard a slight gasp and muttering. “Dari?” She muttered slowly blinking.

 

 

“No, it’s Fili and Kili.” A familiar, concerned voice said softly.

 

 

“Fee?” She moved to sit up but a hand on her shoulder gently pushed her down onto her back.

 

 

“No getting up, you have a back injury, we found you outside, what happened?” Kili said softly.

 

 

“Smaug he got, is everyone, Esgaroth, he’s heading there!” She moved to sit up again, managing to get her elbows under her, pushing her up. 

 

 

“Bard the Bowman has shot Smaug with a black arrow.” Fili informed her. “They call him now the DragonSlayer.” 

 

 

There was a loud squawk in the corner of the room and Tharwen turned her head to see Riíkan perched with his wings outstretched.

 

 

“Riìkan, do you have a message?” Tharwen asked the demonic looking bird with a fond smile.

 

 

“Istahdri Ta, washiri ti infarik fari tha ther Tharkeen Armsi is sha di vau na Erebor. Thai arriviant nat ther nande far ther weike.”

 

 

“Ai! Riìkan istahdri da tha ther armsi is nari davishtu-e.” She replied curtly.

 

 

“Fari masti adino wat a bravosi antiheim rukhlish andi rukhlishi. Yaso iònui re mahvos wat thirt, Rylen andi Kyrin Snow riven na Erebor wat ther Tharkeen Armsi.” Riìkan informed before flying off to somewhere unknown.

 

 

 

“Ai! Rylen andi Kyrin? Fare iònui? Fari Dansherne Riìkan!” She called after him.

 

Fili let out a low whistle. “You’re language is more guttural than Khuzdul. How do you manage? I don’t think even Uncle Thorin can manage that low.”

 

 

“You master it when you’re little. It’s a fact, even peasant children can speak it fluently, as well as the children of men who visit the Marchwardens Keep at the March.” She explained with a chuckle.

 

 

“March?” Kili voiced his confusion.

 

 

“They watch the borders of both the Greenwood and the North Tharkeen. Most Tharkens are sent there at a young age. I went before I even came of age.” She smiled fondly at the memory. “Which reminds me, when can I get up and start walking around?” 

 

 

“In two days I think, Oin said you should be healed by then.”

 

 

“Nice, uh, can I speak to Balin?” Fili and Kili glanced at each other before nodding.

 

 

“Alone.” She added for good measure.

 

 

“If that’s what you think’s best?” Fili shrugged.

 

 

***

 

 

 

“You wanted to talk to me?” Balin asked her kindly.

 

 

“Yes Balin.” She pushed herself up to a sitting position, pretending not to wince at the pain. “My brother is arriving at the end of the week with the Tharkeen Army. He reports that an army of Orcs and Goblins are headed here.” She warns him.

 

 

“You’re brother, as in the King? Balin questioned.

 

 

“No as in the Queen’s Advisor. I am the heir to the throne, I just left my coronation day early because the Marchwardens were needed in the South, hence why I ran into your company.” She explained to Balin watching his smile slowly shift into a frown.

 

 

“That means they’ll arrive in three days.” Balin glanced at her for confirmation.

 

 

“Yes. And I would be there when they arrive to greet them? Would Thorin allow it?” She asked Balin.

 

 

There was a rattling and a thump, accompanied by a high pitched yelp. 

 

 

“I’ll get rid of those two brats, would you like to see Thorin later about greeting your brother.”

 

 

“I’m not sure Thorin would welcome an army. Not now. I’ll greet them when they arrive, he can say what he wants but he’ll need our army for the upcoming battle.” She raised both eyebrows, looking at Balin’s newly smiling face.

 

 

“You make a good Queen lassie, even stuck in a cot.” He snickered.

 

 

“I reckon being stuck in a cot isn’t really becoming of a Queen is it?” She laughed. “It’ll be good to see my brother, although he’s let my boys come along, I’m tempted to kill him, but then I might have to get a new advisor.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Being stuck in a cot was not something she enjoyed doing during the day. Especially when there was no one tall enough to lean on so she had Kili and Fili, the two prats, fashion her a pair of crutches. Persuading them to let her stand was another thing entirely.

 

 

“You can’t get up yet.” Kili protested.

 

 

“My brother’s coming here with an army, if I let your uncle great them, they’ll start a full blown war. Okay? Good? Now let me get up.”

 

“But you can't be walking around, not yet." Kili protested.

 

"I don't care, help me get out of this cot and help me see my brother dammit!" She growled.

 

"How will you get down to see your brother if we decide not to tell you?" Kili asked as a threat.

 

"I have my ways Kili Durin, don't make me use them." She retorted.

 

"Fine." Fili sighed, helping Tharwen sit up and swing her legs over the side of ther cot.

 

"Are they here yet?" She leaned forward, pushing herself off the bed. 

 

"They were seen a few miles away by Bilbo. They would be here in the hour or so." Fili replied.

 

Tharwen wondered what it would be like to see her brother again since she left her coronation. Yes she shouldn't have run off halfway through a war, but she had too. She was needed at the March, Dari needed her, Rylen needed her, Kyrin needed her, her people needed her and her brothers and sisters needed her. The As-kharti came during the ceremony screeching like they had fallen under a spell. The screech of oncoming war and onslaught, pain and suffering, the Kiz-lan returned and they had to fight, there was no quiet hiding in their lands now.

 

Without a Queen to lead, a prince who didn't want to be king, a dead prince, two bastard heirs and the Queens husband dead, they were thought to be defenseless, but were her people really defenseless? They weren't. They never were. Fharwen led them through the battle, they were victorious for now, but the Kiz-lan army had retreated, heading south away from the Tharkeen lands, and her brother lead the Army and the Watch straight to Erebor, with haste.

 

She was going to have to wear a crown upon her head. Shout orders to soldiers willing to die for their families, some of their families standing along beside them. Fathers and mothers, daughters and sons, brothers and sisters, cousins, nephews and nieces, husbands and wives, all fighting for their freedom, their safety, their home and their Queen. 

 

"Can I go wait for them at the gate?" She asked quietly.

 

Suddenly, to the brothers, she didn't look like Tharwen anymore. The woman in front of them was regal, with silent pride and determination glittering in her eyes. A thin smile set on her lip, fondness showing in her features.... and she looked like a Queen.

 

"Family right? Nothing is more important than family." Kili smiled a her, hoping it would lift her spirits. To his relief she broke into a wide grin and nodded eagerly. "Now let's get you down there to see your family."

 

***

 

 

With the army marching towards them in perfect sync, with the odd stumble in the back, the dwarves were thrown in a frantic scramble. Balin, Nori, Kili and Fili the only calm dwarfs among the company, standing alongside Tharwen at the gates on her right, Bilbo on her left, bouncing eagerly on the balls of his bare feet. She was standing with her chin held high, knowing her inner child would have been jumping on the spot had she not been recovering. She could see him, marching towards her with his head held high, matching her posture, back straight and face schooled into a determined expression. She then focused on the figure next to him, dressed in his vibrant navy blue and silver armour, wielding a spear in one hand, his sword sheathed at his him. He was walking faster than the other troops, slightly, but there was still a spring in his step that grew a bit more noticeable the closer they got to the mountain.

 

The army froze to a stop about 20 feet from the gates, her brother and the Tharkeen next to him stepped forward. The Tharkeen in armour knelt to the ground, lifting his helmet of his head and tucking it under his arm, lifting his head slightly so that he could look at his queen, his blond hair falling over his eyes in thin wisps.

 

"My Queen." He said with compassion. "Dari?" Tharwen voiced her confirmation. He bowed his head at the acknowledgment and continued speaking. The commotion of the dwarves grew quieter, listening to the unrecognizable words that the man spoke, his voice loud and clear despite facing the dirt. "Da Queanti, wi lean Istahdra armsi andi wi fighte by Istahdra siede, fari re rero leante andi rero fate wi swenatre rero liva, hanoure, loyante na fari, na prontante rero famile, rero gianro, rero Tharkeen, andi thares wi amiei. Wi wielis follant fari." He proclaimed. "Fari re wi Queanti!"

 

"Fari re wi Queanti!" Two familiar twin voices shouted into the silence following the proclamation. The twin voices belonged to twins, pushing through the army wearing cloaks of fur and were in all green, smiling widely with the sigil of an As-kharti on their back. They were wearing matching grins on their faces. 

 

Tharwen couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. "Rylen and Kyrin Snow, come here right now!" She shouted to them, her voice swamped in happiness.

 

 

"Muther!!" The boys shouted, scrambling towards Tharwen. She let out a slight gasp as the two wrapped their arms around her, almost pushing her over. She couldn't help but marvel at how they'd grown. The two brats hugging her... her sons. 

 

"Is this how I'm going to have to see you, iònui? When you follow the March to fight a war? Let me say hello to your father." She asked when they let go of her. Dari stood behind the two boys. Fharwen behind him. Rylen and Kyrin stood back, letting Dari through to Tharwen. 

 

"Dari."She smiled up at the royal guard. "Tharwen" He acknowledged, smiling down at her with a soft smile gracing his features. "I hope you've been looking after them Dari." She says kindly, and sadly. Dari caresses her cheek with the gentleness only a lover could possess, pecking her cheek lightly. "They truly are your sons." He answered eyes twinkling. "They're your sons too." She retorted lightly, swatting his shoulder.

 

He just laughed. "I know."

 

"Brother?" Tharwen turned her attention to her brother, standing strong as acting king for her. Well now her advisor.

 

 

"How has the quest been?" He asked cheekily.

 

"We passed through the borders of the Greenwood. Thranduil is ready to fight by our sides when the war comes, but there is news of the Kiz-lan joining forces with the oncoming army of orcs and goblins."

 

"We'll deal with that problem when we come to it. Now which dwarves do I have to ward of for falling in love with you." He took a protective posture behind his sister as she grinned at the dwarves by her side.

 

"Balin, Nori, Kili and Fili, I introduce you, my,  _annoying_  big brother, Fharwen Noah Karewin. My superior on the March Dari Snow, and my sons Kyrin and Rylen Snow." She gestured to the men behind her, who bowed their heads slightly.

 

"Dari, Fharwen, boys, these are Balin, Nori, Kili and Fili. They are four of the fifteen in our company." She introduced, smiling widely. The first to react to the introduction and break the awkward silence that settled over them were Rylen and Kyrin, who  _swaggered_ up to Kili and Fili with calm expressions, eyes twinkling with mischief, matching the brothers.

 

"Dari Snow." Dari stated kindly, shaking Nori's hand. Nori glanced between the twins and Dari suspiciously. He could believe that the twins were Tharwen's sons, with the way the smiled, spoke and held themselves, the children of 'royalty', but they're pyhsical features all came from whoever their father was, and he suspected their father was Dari. They had the same matching brown, borderline hazel, eyes, the same blond hair and posture, their physical apprearances were practically the same.

 

***

 

"She has to have another coronation after this is all over." Nori heard Tharwen's brother say to Balin. He was vaguely aware that Therwen's sons had gone with Kili and Fili to explore the rest of the mountain, Dari was with Tharwen walking through camp, arm slung casually over her shoulder, talking to her about something that had happened at the March, from what he could pick up, reading their lips.

 

After tucking small pieces of information into his internal notebook, he turned his attention to the other dwarves and the arm before them. They had, although being there for less than an hour, had set up camp quickly and efficientlyoutside  20 feet from the gates. The dwarves were watching from inside the gate with curios expressions. Thorin stood in the midst of the dwarves, with his eyes trained on Tharwen, jealousy painting his face into a dangerous expression. He watched for a long time, Nori grew nervous with the emptiness of his expression.

 

 

***

 

It was obvious, although Tharwen introduced them as her sons, the physical resemblence between they boys and Dari were key features of the three. Although the boys held Tharwen's personality in their very being by the way they behaved and how they spoke to those they never met, there was a slight hostility, they'd seen Tharwen possess, hiding behind their smiles. Thorin could see it, he was a good judge of character at times and he saw the way Tharwen and Dari communicate, added to the fire burning within him.

 

***

 

Kyrin and Rylen were sitting with their legs crossed, leaning against the cold stone wall behind them, watching Fili and Kili spar together after gloating for ten minutes to them. They weren't paying attention to the dwarvish brothers though, they were occupied with whispering (through their telepathic connection that they'd discovered when they were younger), about their fether and muther. They had grew up with their father and they saw their mother regularly, she told them once, that the March was her home, that she grew up there, that was where her family was.

 

 

_***_

 

"I didn't think you'd have a thing for blonds?" Nori quipped when he and Tharwen were walking around camp near the gates. "What do you mean?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Dari? Thranduil? Both blond? Ring any bells?" She grinned at him, showing the tip of her canines, warning. "How long have you known?

 

"Since we were in the dungeons, I picked up some Sindarin myself when I was stealing for Ori's schooling." He explained. "Gossip travels fast."

 

"Yes it does, doesn't it? Thorin know?" She stopped walking and looked at him dangerously.

 

"No he doesn't but I have a feeling he knows about Dari, the boys resemblance to him is obvious, they look almost exactly like him."

 

“Rylen and Kyrin Snow. They’re twins. They’re 3333 years old. I last saw them when they were 102, I think. They are ruling Marchwardens in my stead on the March.” She explained.

 

"So when did you marry Dharwen? Before or after?" He asked curiously.

 

“I married Dharwen after they were born, but not officially mind you. 2 years before coming of age and I was being sent away from home to a place full of men I did not know. Of course I did something stupid.” She sighed. “I was naive, childish and eager, so ready to prove myself to the Marchwardens. I raised them, in the end. They got sent to the March before my father could intervene with their upbringing. I married Dharwen when I got back, they've never met him you know..." She let out a cough. "Dharwen was a captain of the guard in the army, we.. never mind."

 

When did she and Dharwen even decide to get married? She never remembered, probably because, she remembered now, that it was out of the blue and they'd been together so long it didn't feel different until he was gone.

 

***

 

Fili and Kili didn't know how to react when they saw the twins together with a hand up each others tunics and the other in their hair.

 

"We're uh- sorry." Fili mumbled, pulling Kili away from the scene.

 

"Wait!" The twins scrambled frantically after the brothers. Straightening their tunics and smoothing down their hair.

 

"We're sorry, we didn't mean to do that." Kili mumbled.

 

 

"It's fine, just please... don't tell our parents they don't know yet." They rubbed their necks nervously.

 

 

"Is it allowed? Brothers to... uh-" Fili asked curiously.

 

 

"What- yeah oh yes it is. We just are.... a bit shy about it." Kyrin explained.

 

 

 "So you two, are...?"

 

 

"We're soulmates... eachothers half, it's common in Tharken families, usually." Kyrin gripped Rylens' hand, letting Rylen pull him closer for reassurance.

 

 

"Will you ever tell you parents?"

 

 

"One day we might... right?" Rylen turned to Kyrin, looking at him with soft eyes.

 

 

The edges of Kyrins mouth tilted upwards, with a small smile gracing his lips. "Yes."

 

 

***

 

 

As it was Tharwen had to deal with the soldiers that thought it'd be funny to harrass the March members, she then had to deal with Dwarfs sneaking into the Tharken camp. It was getting on her nerves badly, her temper was fraying and she would murder them if they decided to ruin what she was planning. She was now in council with Dari, Fharwen, Damien, Thranduil and Bard, in battle ready armour that Dari had brought from the March. Thranduil and Bard arrived with their armies, well, Thranduil with an army, and Bard brought the men who could fight from Lake Town that have allianced with the elves. They arrived during the night and joined camp with the Tharkeens.

 

 

"What I'm saying is, that the Kiz-lan have sided with the Orcs and Goblins." Damien said, leaning over the map and table pointing to the ridges drawn on the map. Tharwen leaned over to look at the position.

 

 

"No more." She groaned at the area. "No more fighting! Why the fuck do we have to start wars!?" Her shoulders slumped forward, causing her to slouch.

 

 

"We can't deal with a war, not with what just happened with Smaug." Bard said calmly.

 

 

"You don't think we know that!" Dari snapped, swaying on the heels of his feet, arms firmly planted on the wooden table.

 

 

"We could set up barriers here," Thranduil pointed on the map. "and here."

 

 

"Barriers..." Tharwen murmured thoughtfully. "That's it!" She stood up straight looking at Dari and Damien questioningly. "Magic barriers! We, do you think we could? Magic barriers as strong as we can manage?" She questioned.

 

 

"It depends Tharwen, how long you want to keep them up for... because you won't be able to fight after 24 hours of constant magic, none of us can." Fharwen warned.

 

 

"Combined magic then!" She suggested. Bard looked slightly confused, glancing between the four Tharkeen and the Elven King.

 

 

"I can handle it. It'll be fine, I have enough magic to spare." She gave her brother a smile.

 

 

"Alright then. Back to when the army arrives." Bard said, looking back down at the map. "We can cut them off when the get to the centre, and then surround them, with the Tharken army, the elves, the March, the men and the dwarves from the Iron Hills, we can outnumber them." He said, drawing a square in an are on the map.

 

 

"That is, if Thorin Oakenshield allies with us." Dari pointed out.

 

 

"I'll talk to him... but, I think the gold sickness is taking hold." Tharwen looked at the men surrounding the table. "If all else fails we will have to fight without them." She looked each one of them in the eyes, holding their gazes, reassuring them.

 

 

"We will fight together. As friends, by each others sides. No betrayal." Dari spoke softly, gripping the edge of the table.

 

 

"Aye we will." Bard agreed.

 

 

"And this meeting... is finished. I have a 'Mad King' to reason with." Tharwen pushed herself away from the table, standing straight, stretching, cracking the stiff bones in her back and elbows. "I will see you five in the morning, if the army has not arrived, if not, I will see you on the battle field. Dari, Damien." She nodded at the two. "Bard. Thranduil.... brother mine." She left the tent with her head held high, walking back to the Lonely Mountain.

 

 

"Tharwen wait!" Thranduil called out from behind her, jogging slightly to catch up to her.

 

 

"Thrandy?" She stopped and turned to meet him, smiling widely.

 

 

"You can't use your magic." He said. "You'll wear yourself out. You need to be able to fight."

 

 

"I'll be fine. I'd be more worried with the boys, with the dwarves."

 

 

"You do not have to reason with Thorin Oakenshield."

 

 

"Can we not talk about this, I just want to deal with him and then go to bed with you." She raised her eyebrows slighty.

 

 

"Deal with him, I'll be working on my armour." He urged her to go, before turning slightly to walk away. "Thranduil.." She called, stopping him. He glanced back at her. "I love you." She  pulled him closer for a peck on the cheek, hugging him tightly. "Love you too."

 

 

***

 

 

"Thorin Oakenshield confound you! Make that alliance with the damn elves Mahâl dammit!" She shouted when she saw him pawing through the gold in the pile he was standing on.

 

 

His eyes turned to her and they were midnight. "I will not! Ally with those pointy eared bastards."

 

 

"They are my family! They are my friends! Are you forgetting every other pointy eared 'bastard' in you're company? Because I am pointy eared and I am a true bastard." She growled at him. He looked at her with un-focused eyes. "You are not yourself Thorin. Listen to me?"

 

 

"I will not listen to a traitor!" 

 

 

"Traitor? How am I the fucking traitor?" She picked up a gold coin and threw it at him. "The only traitor here is you! You'd leave your friends to die if it meant that would protect your gold."

 

 

Tharwen turned to walk away, face furrowed and eyes clenched shut. 

 

 

"You will regret your words!"

 

 

"How?" She spun around, armour clinking. "I have two armies at my disposal and an alliance with the elves and men, you will  _never_ be able to fight back Thorin. The Orcs and Goblin army will come, the world will burn at your feet, you'll watch your family and your kin die!" She stalked out of the treasury, growling and grumbling curses under her breath, Bilbo following behind shaken.

 

 

***  _3rd Person (Thorin P.O. V)_

 

 

 

_Thorin looked up from the pile he was slowly pawing through for the Arkenstone. He needed his jewel, the jewel that would give him the power to rule. He heared the gold clinking from when he heared someone walk down to him._

 

 

_"Thorin Oakenshield confound you! Make that alliance with the damn elves Mahâl dammit!"_

 

 

_Tharwen wanted him to ally with the elves? Why would he ally with the tree shagging bastards? The left us to die when the dragon came, they let his people, his kigdom burn. While they turned away from the destruction that came with Smaugs dragon fire._

 

 

_He met her eyes coldly, glaring at her, daring her to defy him. "I will not! Ally with those pointy eared bastards." He growled._

 

 

_"They are my family! They are my friends! Are you forgetting every other pointy eared 'bastard' in you're company? Because I am pointy eared and I am a true bastard." She growled at him. He looked at her with un-focused eyes. "You are not yourself Thorin. Listen to me?"_

 

 

_They were not her family! The company was her family! Not those bastards._

 

 

_"I will not listen to a traitor!"_

 

 

_"Traitor? How am I the fucking traitor?" She picked up a gold coin and threw it at him. "The only traitor here is you! You'd leave your friends to die if it meant that would protect your gold."_

 

 

_You are a traitor for siding with them! What I'm doing is to protect you, can't you see that?_

 

 

_Tharwen turned to walk away, turning her back on_ **_him_ ** _,_

 

 

_"You will regret your words!" He shouted at her retreating back._

 

 

_That seemed to make her snap as she spun around angrily._

 

 

_"How?"  She shouted at him with deadly defiance. "I have two armies at my disposal and an alliance with the elves and men, you will never be able to fight back Thorin. The Orcs and Goblin army will come, the world will burn at your feet, you'll watch your family and your kin die!" She stalked out of the treasury, growling and grumbling curses under her breath._

 

 

_"Don't walk away from me!" He screamed after her._

 

 

***  _3rd Person (Normal)_

 

 

 _  
_"I know how we can get Thorin to alliance with the elves and my kin." Tharwen said, looking at Nori and Bilbo, who were staring at her intently.

 

 

"If you know how to do it why don't you?" Nori asked her incredulously.

 

 

"Because it involves stealing the Arkenstone." She said softly, watching Bilbo's face turned to worry and Nori looking shocked.

 

 

"What the fuck!?" Nori shouted at her.

 

 

"Listen to me Nori! It's the only way we can do this." She pleaded. "Listen to the idea."

 

 

"Tharwen..." Bilbo trailed off slightly, looking scared.

 

 

"Bilbo? What's wrong?" Tharwen turned into a mother hen, hovering over him.

 

 

"I..-" He pulled out somthing covered in cloth, carefully unwraping it to reveal the Arkenstone. "It's why he can't find it... I found it the first day we started searching, you were unconcious."

 

 

"That's why he's going mad..." She murmured. "We're taking that to the Tharkeen Camp. Now, Bilbo... Nori, stay here, distract Thorin, we'll be back before Dwan, hopefully, at least Bilbo will." She went off without a word, pulling Bilbo along with her leaving Nori behind shocked.

 

 

***

 

 

"So you are the hobbit?" Thranduil said looking at Bilbo. He glanced at Tharwen with fondness in his eyes.

 

 

"We've found a way to force Thorin to make a deal." Tharwen said to Thranduil, letting an arm slip around her waist to pull her close to him.

 

 

"How?" Thranduil looked at Bilbo intently. When Tharwen nodded, Bilbo brought out the cloth covered stone, uncovering it and showing it to Thranduil.

 

 

Thranduil looked shocked and his face turned to a face of horror as a realization hit him. Tharwen would risk everything too survive this... even her life.

 

 

"The king's jewel...." He murmured softly. "The Arkenstone..."

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Finally a new update. Ya'll fucking hate me don'cha. Sorry my motivation to make write made me write the beginning of the battle then the trailer fucked me up so have another filler chapter. So yeah in honour of the second BoFa trailer. Like Fuck it, when the story's done and the movie comes out, I'll just go back and add shit.

_"You have won the mountain isn't that not enough." Bilbo asked sadly. "Now, we defend it." His voice broke through the silence, leaving the echoes in its wake. Was this how they'd end, with a war because Thorin had forgotten his promise? As Thorin walked away Bilbo's shoulders slumped and whatever fight he had left in him to go after Thorin to knock some sense into him had disappeared.  He returned to Tharwen, who was sitting with Kili and Fili on each side of her. There wasn't a scrap of happiness left in her expression, making Bilbo feel ever worse than before. Kili and Fili were trying to catch her attention with some stories from their childhood, but whatever they were doing, it was not enough to keep Tharwen smiling for long. Her mouth sunk back into a frown, her face solemn and dark and with her lips curled, the muscle above her eyebrow twitched in thirty second intervals, her eyes grew glassy and she looked like she was about to cry._

_To plague her thoughts with reminders of being far away from home with out the comfort of her father or brothers hands to guide her through challenging times, where she had no hope to push through the dilemma, the threat that could destroy them all and bring the world to ruin, it hurt her and it made her miss home. She missed the comforting warmth of family, the kindness and forgiveness in her brothers eyes when it was her turn to rule. She grew up to fast, without a proper training or having a chance to learn to rule, before being throne into a war and then.... and then she met them. Thirteen dwarves that wormed their way into her heart and had made a home there. She never, never wanted to let them go._

_'Look at them.' Her thoughts told her. Threw scenario after scenario of their deaths in battle. The wrath and ruin that followed them, that followed her. She thought about the two boys next to her. Only adolescents in dwarf years, just reaching adulthood, still children in her and the elves own terms. They would be about the same age as Kyrin and Rylen were when they were first at the March, brought into the war that they had no knowledge off until the March was summoned to fight alongside the Tharkeen Amrsi. They would be thrown into war for the first time. Yes dwarves were used to the roughness of the road, traveling for long times only to settle in mountain ranges that weren't their own, wasn't their own. What she would give to shelter those two? Keep them safe from all the harm and cruelty in the world. They were still children, children shouldn't have to fight. They shouldn't have to fight for a home._

_She could see the company had huddles together in separate groups, each in their respective families, except for Thorin, the oldest Durin searching through the gold in search for the arkenstone to prove his birthright to no one. He had taken back Erebor without the help of the other Dwarf Kingdoms, he had already proved it by doing that as it was. They had taken on Smaug,_ **_she_ ** _had taken on Smaug in an attempt to save her new friends because despite their part to play in the world, she wanted to save them._

_Thorin was mad, there was no other word for it. He spent hour after hour in the treasury scurrying like a rat through the gold in search for the wretched jewel that held nothing but dark desires and broken promises. He snapped. He growled. He threatened to run Orcrist through her hide if she took one step towards the gold that belonged to him and his line alone. Threatened to have her killed, executed for being a pointy eared, shirumund, ungrim bastard. Of course what would she do but curse back at him in the language he hated the most?_

_"Amin feuya ten' lle Thorin Oakenshield." She had spat. Her fingers were itching to grasp at her sword. To kill someone and let their blood spill over the floor. Why did she bother talking to him about keeping the company safe?_

_She wasn't aware that while she was lost in her own mind trying to find some comfort among her thoughts and memories that tears had decided to go against her rationality and slid down her face, catching the boys attention and making them lean closer worried, trying to mother hen her even though she was the one that would do that to them._

_"Tharwen are you alright?" Fili had asked carefully, worried that he might set her off, remind her off something that would upset her further. She automatically lifted her hand and wiped the tears away with the back off her hand, hoping she would stop, but to no avail the tears kept coming and the lump in her throat made it harder to try and explain why she was crying to them. She leaned forward and pulled them both into a hug, burying her face into Fili's shoulder while her other hand wound itself around as much cloth as it could on Kili's back. Her tears soaking into Fili's shoulder as through her tears she apologized for everything. For not being able to help them, for letting them down and for not killing Smaug the chance she got. For not being able to keep her promises, not being able to choose a side, not being able to tell the truth to them and to their uncle and not telling them that if this were to end in fire, they would all burn.... together._

_Her words came out in a garbled mess, Kili and Fili could only pick out a few words at a time. Hearing the word 'sorry' recurring over and over again and how she could watch over them and not let this even with wrath and ruin, how there are so many things that she could not tell them and how she prayed to the gods and the makers so that she could tell them everything. Fili did the one thing he knew was right, he held on. He held onto her, whispering the same things he did to Kili when his brother was upset. Telling her that everything would be alright and that someone would find a way to fix this. He rubbed circles onto her back, feeling her relax in the hug, Kili doing the same, mimicking hi brothers action. The oldest brother had shifted so that Tharwen rested comfortably where she sat as her crying slowed to just small shakes only noticeable if you were next to her and only small sounds, small quiet gasps to catch her breath and soft labored breathing that made Bilbo cringed because he'd never seen or heard of Tharwen, in all the time that he and his parent had known her, breaking down, not even when she lost her father, not when she lost her brother._

_When she looked up, the three of them could see how tired, and how sickly she looked, and possibly how she felt. There were bags under her eyes and she looked she'd worried her way through her sleepless nights. The entire company knew that she barely slept and spent her nights moving throughout the mountain in search for accessible rooms and chambers to bathe, maybe some books in the grand library to read, or swords in the armories or the mines, cold and abandoned._

_"Tharwen, bâhel, are you feeling alright?" Kili asked, gently stroking her hair._

_"I miss my brother." She said softly and without his keen ears, Bilbo would have missed her sentence completely. The Durins shot a guilty glance at each other. Tharwen had no family in the company, apart from Bilbo being a family friend, and Gandalf, the meddlesome wizard who seemed to know just about everyone in every race there was in Middle Earth._

_"Darien would come to my room at night afraid, he never had any good memories at home." She began explaining, relaxing into Fili and Kili's arm cocoon, their hands making her feel safer than she had before. "A lord in my fathers court hired assassins to kill him when he'd sleep. His One died when he was a child, he held him in his arms. He would climb into my bed with a tear streaked face and grab my outstretched arm and tuck himself into my side without waking me up. When I did, we would sit on my balcony, the sheets dragged out with us too keep us warm as I told him stories about visiting different kingdoms. His favourite was about Thranduil and I, when our crowns caught together and we walked around connected to each other for a few hours. He was my baby brother" Her eyes were almost closed, to prevent anymore tears from falling._

 

_~~_ **_((Takes Place After Tharwen had given the Arkenstone to Thranduil)) ~~_ **

 

_"Bilbo is right, you cannot see what you have become..." Dwalin despaired. Thorin looked up from the gold with only faint recognition in his eyes. The desire for gold, for greed, for right and power had him looking at Dwalin like he was not his trusted friend, not his guard, not his brother._

_The shine of the gold only left a frightening glint in Thorin's eyes and Dwalin retreated, shooting defeated looks towards the others and Tharwen shook her head. How could she save Thorin from this madness when he couldn't save himself. She stood from where she sat, Fili and Kili looking at her in confusion while Bilbo just shook his head at her, somewhat pleadingly saying: 'Don't go to him.' 'Don't try and change his mind.' But she ignored him, and ignored the sick, twisting feeling in her stomach and went into the treasury, picking her way down to Thorin carefully. When she reached him, she didn't approach him straight away, waiting for him to turn around and notice her presence._

_"Tharwen, âzungâl, is everything alright?" He asked when he noticed her. Tharwen sighed tiredly, squeezing her eyes shut for a few moments._

_"Please Thorin," He voice came out soft and defeated. "Stop this madness and the gold sickness. Please?"_

_"You know I cannot do that, I have to find this for my right, my right to rule this mountain." He answered her._

_She gritted her teeth, she was just so tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of the sickness and the madness. "What about the fact that you had conqured this mountain with twelve other dwarves, a hobbit, a wizard, and a Tharken, be what proves you have the right to rule Thorin, you do not need that stone. Stop being selfish and do something for you kin that are worrying themselves to the Halls Of Mandos because you're falling to the gold sickness!" She raised her voice at the end, making him glare at her._

_"Selfish? Everything I did, I did for them." He said, and Tharwen realized he as refering to his boys. Fili and Kili, his nephews, the ones he treated like his own sons._

_"And now you'd go to war and risk them all, you would let Kili and Fili die?" She straightened her back and pushedback her shoulders to glare at him.They were not expendable, no one in this company was! "Thorin, please! They are just children they are the youngest of this company and they are your nephews. They swore to protect you and they would die for your life, please don't let them do this." She pleaded. This was her last chance to stop them from fighting alongside their uncle and possibly dying. This was her last chance to save everyone._

_"They are warriors, they will not die by my side." He argued and she before she turned to walk out she replied._

_"You will let them di-e." Her voice cracked and she left. He didn't stop her from leaving this time, but he did follow her out of the treasury._

_"Do not speak to me about letting my family die! You know nothing about losing family!" He shouted and Tharwen froze but she didn't turn. How could she face him now? The others watched, Bilbo concerned, resisting the urge to run up to Tharwen and lead her away from Thorin. She clenched a fist by her side, before reaching up to wipe something from her face The others could not see what she wiped away, worried that it was blood and Thorin had wounded her. Dori and Nori had stood protectively in front off Ori, aiming to help, as well as Bofur and Bifur who were glaring at Thorin to Bilbo's side. Silence filled the air and Tharwen raised her head, eyes tinging gold, face flushed._

_"I watched my father die on a battle field beside me to protect my One." She began, voice quiet. "I watched as healers carried my baby brother into the courtyard of our castle when he was dying because of an orc raid." Her eyes glowed at the end of each sentence. "I watched my One die because he made a deal with the wrong people and the Kiz-lan slit his throat in front of me. I held my sons when they were unconscious for weeks barely surviving their first orc skirmish." She choked back a sob and wiped away what looked like tears. "I sat by Dari's side when the Kiz-lan almost took his life as well. I sat by Thranduil's bedside as a dragon from the North, from the part of Middle Earth I was supposed to protect, burnt him and almost killed him. I was there when Fharwen got kidnapped and beaten up after he was blind and nursed him back to health myself. I lost a sister when Thranduils wife had left for the Grey Havens, somewhere I will not go when I die. So Thorin Oakenshield I will not lose the rest of my family," She looked towards Bilbo and the boys, before her eyes wandered to the rest of the company, catching their gazes. "Because you cannot see what you've become."_

 

* * *

She had left, Tharwen had left Erebor to join the camp with the Tharkeens and Elves outside the mountain. Bilbo had stayed in the safety of the mountain, although the threat was in it, not in the Tharken camp outside. He watched from a safe place, climbed onto an overhanging beam that was wide enough for him to sit cross legged out of the dwarves reach. Dwarves couldn't climb anyways, well they don't choose too, so he was safe up there. He watched as Thorin raved while Balin, Dori, Dwalin and Gloin tried to calm him to no avail. To Thorin, Tharwen's actions were a betrayal that struck him deep through the sickness and the desire that had overtaken him. Tharwen had left because she had given up on Thorin, given up on trying to make Thorin understand that if he fought this war against the Elves, Men and Tharkeen, that his company would die, his nephews would die.

The boys seemed affected by Tharwen's absence as well, they were quieter, ate less and did not like being around others, catching everyone's attention with the lack of pranks they pulled and the jokes they cracked. Bilbo would catch them overlooking the camp from the battlements at the front of the mountain, the same battlements that they had sat on with Tharwen when she was recovering from her injury from Smaug when they found her outside. She was watching them like hawks at first, following them around when they were exploring, making sure they weren't getting into trouble or into danger.

And their silence was reflected in Tharwens behaviour at the camp.

 

* * *

 

Tharwen was a wreck. That was how Thranduil would describe her right now. She could not focus on anything to do with strategizing for war. There was nothing they could do to have her focus solely on this war.... Unless they manage to put what is distracting her at ease.

So he, Fharwen, Damien and Dari cornered her while she was was leaving her sons tent in the middle of the camp, after checking up on them, making sure they had checked their armour and had their weapons properly looked after, so that they would be in good condition to fight.

They surprised her, when she backed out of the tent, rolling her eyes when Thranduil removed his hand from covering her mouth. She looked at them confused as why they would not just walk up to her and speak casually.

"What's bothering you Tharwen." Dari asked. She scowled in response and waved her hand nonchalantly. 

"Nothing Dari. Just pre-battle nerves, that's all." She tried to move away but they stopped her with glares, from Fharwen and Damien, and meaningful looks from Tharwen and Dari. At those looks, she sighed and her shoulders slumped. They stared at her expectantly and an irritated expression slid onto her face. "Well I'm not going to tell you all where anyone could just listen in. We're going back to the tent." She rolled her eyes and moved past them towards the tent. The others just letting out chuckles and sighs of relief, amused at her change of behaviour.

They followed her back, Fharwen already having an idea of what was bothering his youger sister. It possibly had something to do with the youngest of the company that he was introduced to when he first met part of the company, the two boys, the heirs, who he knew reminded Tharwen of Darien.

As soon as they entered the tent, Tharwen spun around and took a deep breath. "I m-iss Darien and I don'-t want-t to lose Fil-i and K-ili." She stammered, clutching her hands behind her back, scratching her arm anxiously.

Fharwen shook his head in agreement and moved to hug his sister, surprising her with his affection. She tucked her head under his chin and her rubbed circles into his back, holding her tightly. "I miss him too." He murmured.

As this happened, Damien and Dari nodded at Thranduil and took their leave, slipping out of the tent without a single sound to disturb the siblings. Thranduil focused on the words Tharwen was murmuring about her brother. In turn, Fharwen was apologizing for not looking after him as best as he could. He'd only turned around for a moment before he turned and then, he'd lost his brother to his ignorance.

Fharwen pulled away and gave his sister one last comforting smile, and then he left the tent, Tharwen now looking happier than before. Thranduil moved towards her and pushed the hair out of her eyes, smiling down at her. "Those boys are wonderful fighters, Prince Kili had healed wonderfully according to Tauriel, and Legolas says that Prince Fili has wonderful techniques with a sword." Thranduil assured and she gave his a half hearted smile, which cemented the thought he had in mind. "Go back to the mountain until nightfall." He said, smiling assuringly when she looked at him, startled. "You wish to be with them to ensure their safety and I understand why, the remind you of your sons, and of your brother, go, I will be fine on my own. The camp can run itself without your presence." He rolled his eyes amused at her pout at the statement. "You do work too much." He said pointedly raising an eyebrow at her expression, and the laughter Tharwen was trying to keep down burst up, bubbling through and her shoulders shook along with her laughter.

"Yes Thranduil." She leaned forward to give him a peck on the cheek, before reaching for her sword and two intricately carved boxes that were packed when she decided to leave to defend the borders, before snatching them up and slowly moving to leave the tent, pausing at the flap to look back at Thranduil. He nodded in confirmation and made a shooing motion with his hands. She giggled and left the tent, both Thranduil and her letting out sighs of relief when they were out off each others sights.

 

* * *

There was shouting, some laughing and some very vibrant yelling from the two youngest members of the company around noon. They were both rushing down the stairs to the battlements in full armour, trying to be the first one outside to whatever was causing them to react quite excitedly. And when the rest of the company -minus Thorin- had gathered at the balcony to see what it was all about, they saw Tharwen and the boys in a tight embrace, both the blond and the brunet clinging to her like dwarflings.

"I thought you weren't going to come back because of Uncle Thorin." Kili mumbled into her waist, face pressed against the metal of her armour.

"I came back for you two. But I have to go back at camp by nightfall, I have my duty now as Queen, I've avoided it long enough." She explained with a smile and Fili nodded in understanding. They straightened and let go of Tharwen and she looked at them with a grin on her face. "If we go inside I can give you both something I have for you." 

At the thought of getting presents, they eagerly ran back, stopping immediately before looking back at Tharwen and waiting patiently.

"Go on, I'll catch up in a second." She shouted to them and the continued on running.

She looked down at the two boxes in her hands, squeezed her eyes shut just for a few seconds and then ran to catch up with the youngest Durins.

 

* * *

 

 

"So what do you have for us?" Kili asked excitedly. Fili swiped the back of his brothers head and growled at him. 

"Manners Kili!" Tharwen laughed and just shook her head in response, she handed them both one box each, smiling when she saw Kili's eyes shining in happiness.

"It's quite alright. You see, these are from the North Tharkeen, where I was born. We used to trade with Erebor and the other dwarf kingdoms, like Khazad-dum and the Iron Hills, and so, I had these made when I had free time at the March. Go on, open them."

Their reactions when they opened the boxes could light up the rest of Tharwen's life. Fili's jaw dropped slightly as he lifted the arm circlet out of the box in awe. Kili, ignored the circlet in his box and lifted the beads from the box to admire them with the light from the afternoon sun glinting against the rubies in the beads, and the mithril they were made out of. Engraved in both the circlets, were their names in Khuzdul and inscriptions.

 _'Kidhuzel, for Fili, gold of gold, the most golden.'_ and ' _Zinlazel for Kili, the brightest of stars.'_ engraved into his circlet in perfect Khuzdul, by Tharwen herself. 

"I engraved them at Lake Town, after I realized that you were family, brothers to me. I needed to give them to you before this was all over."

"These are beautiful Tharwen." Fili was still glancing at his circlet in surprise, while Kili had already added it to his armour, smiling as it fit perfectly in place, right were there was a gap between two pieces of armour, as if it was made perfectly for him.

"Try it on, see if it fits, if it doesn't I can adjust it for you at anytime." She urged and Fili picked it up, carfeully putting it on, mirroring Kili's location on his arm. 

"It fits, thank you Tharwen." He smiled.

"I wanted too and you're officially part of the family." She lifted her arm and showed them three similar cirlets to the ones she gave them, two of which the gems embedded did not match her colouring, one with diamonds, the other emeralds. The ones with opals were hers, her status engraved in Common on the most evened part of her circlet, while the others had different markings, some in elvish, some in a different language.

"The one with emeralds was my fathers, the one with diamonds was my little brothers." She explained.

They nodded not wanting to push for anymore details. Before Tharwen could say anything else to them, the others in the company - minus Bilbo who decided to be courteous and not interrupt, and Thorin who was still searching the treasury for the Arkenstone - finally decided that he boys had enough time hogging their princess and had decided to join them, or more like drag them into the mountain and question Tharwen to see if she was alright.

Bofur and Nori were the last dwarves to fuss over her. After a quick conversation with Bifur in Khuzdul reassuring him that she was fine and that Thorin did not hurt her in any way that hasn't happened before, both the miner and thief didn't bombarded her with questions, instead they filled her in on what had happened when she had left. How Kili and Fili had distanced themselves from everyone. In reaction to that she turned to the boys and gave them each another tight hug.

The rest of the company had wandered back inside the mountain, so the five of them went in together, Fili and Kili keeping an eye on their circlets, still admiring them as the light from the sun glinted and made the gems and the mithril shine. The brothers received a few comments from Balin and Dori, who noticed the trinkets first, immediately realizing they were not part of the treasure from Erebor and taking the boys aside to lecture them about looking after these items.

"Has Thorin been irritable lately? Or is it safe for me to go talk to him?" Tharwen asked Nori and Bofur, cocking her head to the side, hearing something shift above them, before looking up. "Bilbo!" She pursed her lips before glaring at the hobbit. "Get down here now!" She shouted up at him.

"He's not irritable." He shouted back. "And it's safe up here, Thorin can't throw anything at me and it's safe."

"I will bring you back to life and kill you again if you fall off and break your neck!" She threatened before rolling her eyes at Nori and Bofur, silently instructing them to make sure he gets down safely. They nodded in understanding and they parted, Nori and Bofur to discuss with the company on how to get Bilbo down as she went to the treasury to find Thorin.

When she had reached the edge of the stone platform, she searched for Thorin, trying to find him without having to move through the gold trying to watch her footing. She couldn't see him, instead taking in the frightening glint of gold reflecting against the stone and the eerie feel she as getting from it, twisting and tying a knot in her stomach. She turned around to leave and saw Thorin in the doorway looking at her, eyes unreadable and face schooled into a mask of emptiness.

"Tharwen." Thorin nodded in acknowledgment. His voice unattached and cold.

"Thorin, this is my last try. Will you listen to me? Please?" She waited for Thorin to say something, anything that would avoid this conversation and what the declination would mean if they were to go to war separated. Without a response, she took a breath and continued. "Fight with us, for the same cause, to protect the mountain, the company, to defeat Azog, you don't need to do this alone. Please, don't do this? Don't let this happen?"

Thorin's silence seemed to be enough of an answer. Her shoulders slumped and her arms fell back to her side, defeat evident in her posture.

Somehow, Thorin wasn't sure that Tharwen was talking about the same thing as before as she spoke that last sentence. Her voice had taken a distressed tone and her arms were held limply by her side, as if she had no more energy to plead with him. The same cause? To protect the mountain and the company?

Them.....  _them._

"Tharwen I cannot ally with them, my pride won't allow me too." He murmured, the fondness seeping back into his voice, making her wince.

"Then ally with me, please Thorin, just please, don't let them die!" She cried. Her shoulders were shaking, and her breathing was unsteady. "I have to leave the mountain by nightfall, and I won't come back to the mountain after this Thorin. I'll be at camp, following my duty as Queen to lead my army into a war that can be won so much easier if you just trust me."

Them.....  _them._ Why was she still saying them?

Tharwen scrubbed her face with her hands violently, before standing straight, all the traces of her distress washed away and replaced with the image of a warrior.

"If you don't ally with us." She said. "You don't fight at all Thorin. I am not going to let anyone die at the Kiz-lan's hands any longer. I'm not letting those boys die because you can't put your faith in me because of a Mahal forsaken stone Thorin." She pushed past him, ready to leave despite having a few more hours until sunset.

 _His boys, all this to protect his boys, she just wanted them safe._ Why?

"This is our mountain, we're fighting to defend it! Even with just thirteen! We do not need an alliance to survive! We made it this far without one!" He yelled at her, following her out. "Rukhsul menu, menu shirumund bastard!" He raved.

Tharwen moved swiftly past fragments of the company, leaving Thorin behind with long strides of her legs, easily moving ahead of him, stopping next to Kili and Fili.

"Keep safe you two. I don't think I'm welcome here any longer Khâzash." She turned to Bilbo. "Savo 'lass a lalaith na lu e-govaned vin, mellon-nin."

 _"_ Tenna' san'" He muttered in response, glancing worriedly between her and Thorin, the oldest Durin having heard what she said to his nephews.

Fili and Kili nodded and touched their circlets and Tharwen noticed the beads were now braided in their hair, matching wonderfully with their colouring.

 "I mean it, if you're not feeling safe at all, my tent is the one closest to the mountain." She said to them, a hand on each shoulder. 

"Yes Tharwen."

Thorin advanced towards them, glaring at Tharwen. They were his boys, his  _family_. Before he could do anything, Bilbo was in front of him, standing up to him and stopping him in his tracks, his reasoning awakening something uncanny in all of them.

"When faced with death, what can anyone do?" He asked desperately.

 

* * *

Back at camp the Tharkeens were in an uncanny state of calm, Gandalf had returned from wherever he had gone too when he parted ways with the company, and Thranduil was mad.

"You started this, so forgive me if I end this." He growled as Gandalf tried to reason with him that Tharwen, and the Tharkeens had a part with this quest.

"You are being over protective. She is safe, there is nothing on this quest that can harm her badly."

"The Kiz-lan are moving closer with the orcs and goblins as we speak, the same things that took Dharwen and her father away from her. Mithrandir, she is breaking down frequently now. She has given two family circlets to the princes, if they do not survive this battle, when Men, Dwarves, Elves and Tharkens die. This will be just like the The Last Of The First Tharkeen Age. She lost everything." Thranduil argued angrily

"Trust me, King Thranduil, she will be alright."

"I pray to Aule that you are correct Mithrandir, or there will be many of us who would see that whoever that brought her into this would pay." He snarled, lips curling back revealing his teeth.

Gandalf nodded, before leaving the tent.

 

~

 

Tharwen left the mountain, again. It was something Kili did not understand. He didn't understand why she came back to have Uncle Thorin chase her away for asking for an alliance. He didn't understand why she kept trying, why she kept trying to keep them all alive, keep them safe, why she tried to keep them happy. All he understood was that Tharwen had convinced Thranduil to protect the mountain from the oncoming Orc and Goblin army, Tharwen had an army as well as the men from Lake Town and the Mirkwood Elves to keep the orcs from reaching them. That Tharwen would fight a war for them, while their uncle tried to hide in the dark and believe that they were better than everyone else. He wanted to talk about this with someone, but he knew if he mentioned it to anyone he's get a lecture on loyalty and honour to his family. So he waited. He waited until there was a chance to talk to his uncle alone but there wasn't one. No matter how hard he tried, when he wanted to say something, he was dismissed like he wasn't 77 and not a dwarfling anymore.

It was just past nightfall and he stood on the battlements looking over the Tharkeen and Elven/Men camp. He wanted to go down there, he felt, like Tharwen was the only one who, besides his brother, understood him.

He heard Fili call his name from inside the mountain and he turned to go join his brother. Walking down the stairs, he could see the company grouped with Thorin in front of them. He joined the group and stood by his brothers side as Thorin began a speech about the oncoming war.

"Will you follow me, one last time?" He asked them, as the others nodded, Kili felt a tremble from beside him and could see his brothers hands were shaking. They were scared, and they were not ready for this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: 
> 
> Khuzdul:  
> shirumund - beardless  
> ungrim - Untrustworthy (not actually Khuzdul, this is from Warhammer)   
> âzungâl - beloved  
> Rukhsul menu, menu shirumund - you offspring of an orc, you beardless  
>  Khâzash - brother
> 
> Elvish:
> 
>  
> 
> Amin feuya ten' lle - You disgust me.   
> Savo 'lass a lalaith na lu e-govaned vin, mellon-nin. - have joy and laughter until next we meet my friend.  
> Tenna' san' - until then.


	21. Chapter 21

Tharwen entered the tent to see Thranduil, who was lying there, still awake, waiting for her, his boots already kicked off and on the ground at the other side off the tent, most of his bulky armour had been stripped off and lay to the side close to the cot. Tharwens boots joined his, the metal clang filling the silence, save for their breathing, when they collided with his. Her breastplate and other bulkier armour joined Thranduil's next to their cot and she dumped her cloak onto Thranduils abdomen as she fumbled tiredly with the belt on her waist and ripping it off when she got the intricate buckle free from it's clasp. Her belt and her sword joined the rest of the armour and she collapse into the cot next to Thranduil, tucking herself into his side and she pulled his arm tightly around her. Tharwen held onto him eyes slowly drooping shut as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

 As the nights grew colder with winter approaching, she usually found herself bundled under her cloak inside the cold mountain. Now next to Thranduil she felt warmer than she did in the mountain, bundling her cloak over her as she curled up next to him for the familiar comfort and warmth. It reminded her of home and when she and Thranduil would stay in each others rooms when they visited each other father's respective kingdoms. He kept close too her, basking int the warmth of her body heat, sometimes her shift would slip through and a tail would join the emcrace, winding it's way between their legs, or her wings would expand and cover them when she would lay with her head on Thranduil's chest. Sometimes her claws would make and appreance through the night only to retract a few hours later and come out in the morning when he tried to wake her up.

"Posto vae, pe-channas." He said fondly, smiling down at her, and she drifted off, finally feeling safe for the first time since she entered that mountain.

* * *

 

 

When she woke up, it was to the sound of Thranduil trying to put his armour on quickly, yet quietly. She could hear him cursing his armour as he struggled to reach a strap that hung just out of reach as he tried to both put his boots and breastplate on at once.

"Pe-channas, and I'm the one who can't put their armour on when I'm in a rush." She said groggily, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Come he-." She cut off mid-yawn and easily adjusted the buckles and clasps on Thranduils breastplate 

"Thank you." He leaned down to peck her on the lips. "We move out in half an hour to seek an alliance with Thorin Oakenshield." He reminded her and she gave a quiet groan, sitting up to pull her armour on, irritatedly tightening the clasps and the reaching down to find her boots on the other side off the tent where she left them last night.

Thranduil chuckled and rolled his eyes at her when she looked up at him with tired eyes, and went to bring her, her boots from the other side of the tent, watching as she slipped them on and tigthened the laces and the buckles.

She sat up and held her arms out to Thranduil. He chuckled and bent down to tie the laces on her armour. "I know you care about them." He said as he finished the last knot and pulled on it tightly. "Understand they feel the same way."

"Can we just get this over and done with. I don't want Thorin to do anything stupid." She replied.

"Bard will speak for us, as he is on neutral grounds, he may have an alliance with us, but he is not an elf nor is he a Tharkeen, which should leave Thorin with some trust in him." Thranduil told her as they pushed the flaps of the tent back and ducked out, carrying their weapons. Bard had brought three horses to make the trip to the mountain as the Tharkeens thought it was safer to prioritize the people of Lake Town's safety, and so they moved the camp back to the outskirts of Dale.

Together the three of them, Damien, Dari and Fharwen electing to stay behind and offer aid to the survivors of Smaug, set of toward the mountain, Tharwen falling into stride next to Bard, Thranduil following next to her. Slowly they came up too the mountain, awaiting for their arrival to be announced by Bilbo, who had been on the battlements when they arrived.

* * *

 

This was it for them. Kili moved towards the rest of the company that had gathered at the stairs near the battlements. As soon as Bilbo had mentioned he spotted three riders in the distance, Thorin had them in their armour and had them gather at the base of the stairs. Thorin was walking slowly towards them through the wreckage that littered the floor and dodging the broken stone of the walls and statues.

Kili felt himself shaking as Thorin warned them what he was about to do. There was not going to be an alliance. They were to barricade the entrance to the mountain and they were to let the Tharkens, the men and the else die, while they hid behind the ruins of their home. He would not let them die. Kili was not going to lose anyone he care about, not now, not ever!

"We're making that alliance." He said, loud enough for Thorin too hear. His uncle paused and looked at him in confusion. Kili stepped forward out of the group and did not regret the decision interrupted his uncle. "We go to war with them and we fight willingly with them, just like they would fight willingly for us!"

"They only want something in return, let them fight,  _let them die!"_ Thorin growled.

"I will not hide, while  _others fight our battles_  for us!" He shouted.

 _Mahal, don't let uncle run me through with his sword._ He thought when he saw his uncles face twist in anger.

"You listen to me boy!" Thorin spat, moving swiftly towards Kili. Before he could reach his nephew, though, Fili pulled his brother back into the company, trying to avoid another confrontation. Bilbo moved in front of them hands up in a gesture of defeat.

"They want to talk to you Thorin, they need your answer." He directed Thorin's attention away from Kili and Fili and towards the light coming in from the window the battlements created.

* * *

 

 

The first they saw on the battlements was Balin, who was then joined slowly by the rest of the company, Thorin in the centre of the mumbling group. The older dwarves, Gloin, Dori, Oin, Balin and Dwalin were quietly muttering comments to each other about Tharwen, slightly angering the younger four in the company. Bilbo, Ori, Fili and Kili all wanted to join Tharwen in an alliance, realizing it was the safest and most beneficial choice for the company and the future of Erebor.

Nori, Bofur, Bifur and Bombur stood silently as Bard stepped forward and the murmurs from the others quietened down. 

"Thorin Oakenshield, King Under The Mountain, we offer an alliance for the oncoming war, between you, the Tharkeen, Elves and Men. Do you accept this proposal?" Bard asked, looking up at the battlements.

Thorin glared from the battlements without a reply. In the silence, Bilbo began to fidget among the battlements and on the ground below, so did Tharwen. Their armies were back at camp, but if they were to stand where they were when they arrived yesterday, they would stretch out as far as the eye could see. Thorin scoffed at the offer and he turned away from the trio on the ground beneath him.

"Would you have peace, or war?" Bard calls out and brings Thorin to a halt before he can move away. He has no problem with going to war with them.

"I would have war."

Tharwen almost dropped Thranduils hand. " _No..._ " She bit her lip from crying out to him. She could see the boys and Bilbo looking down at her from the battlements to do something to stop him. They were just begging her with their eyes, Bilbo even using sign language to communicate with her discreetly.

 _'Use the Arkenstone.'_ He signed and Tharwen stepped forward catching Thorin's attention from the battlements. She brought out the cloth covered stone from the inside of her cloak pocket. Holding out and letting the cloth covering fall to the ground. The jewel sparkled in the light and Thorin's face held every ounce of hatred and betrayal he'd felt over the one hundred and ninety-five years of his lifetime. She held it above her head, if betraying him meant that they would survive, than so be it.

"The Arkenstone,  _your right to rule,_ for your support and alliance for the oncoming war." The dwarves reaction made her chest tighten painfully. Balin and a few others completely loyal to the Durin line and had been there when Thror still ruled, gasped, while Thorin staggered back, fists clenched tightly, she could see the white in his knuckles from the ground below him.

"How did you come by that?" He growled out above them. His voice carrying over to them.

"I gave it too Tharwen, she gave it to Thranduil." The company spun around to face the pale faced hobbit standing behind them. 

"What did you say?" Thorin barked.

"I gave it to Tharwen, I took the Arkenstone when Tharwen confronted Smaug for the first time, I gave it to Tharwen and we took it to the camp to give to Thranduil to use as leverage to gain your cooperation for the upcoming battle." Bilbo answered him, inching towards the stairs carefully.

"Bilbo why?" Fili asked, pained expression crossing his face.

"Like Tharwen, I cannot watch you all die, not after we had gotten this far." Bilbo replied.

"You ungrateful worm! You rat! You useless burglar!" Thorin stalked towards him, dodging the rest of the company and he had drawn his sword, ready to strike Bilbo. Just as Thorin raised his sword, and arrow flew past his face and they turned to see Thranduil, bow in hand, another arrow drawn and ready to be nocked on his bow.

"Go down to your friends traitor!" Thorin spat at Bilbo, waving his sword, enraged. "Before I throw you down too them."

Bilbo shot one last look at the company, before running away, down the stairs to the entrance of the mountain and out towards the safety behind Thranduil, Tharwen and Bard.

* * *

 

 

As they left, Tharwen turned back to see something shiny fall from the battlements and hit the ground with a small crack that her shift picked up. She ignored the sickening feeling in her gut and focused on Bilbo, who was seated with Bard on his horse.

"Bilbo are you alright?" She asked kindly, knowing he was possibly feeling the same as her. 

He nodded, looking stronger than she expected. He gave her a genuine smile and she sighed, relieved. "Good."

Thranduil changed the subject and brought something that she had completely forgotten about to attention.

"You need to continue your wing exercises, you used your shift and now you're tucking him back inside and he will gradually grow weak if you keep suppressing your instincts." He reminded her and she rolled her eyes.

"I'll give my wings a stretch when we reach Dale." She turned to Bard. "Warn the survivors of Lake Town, that the Tharkens will be shifting until nightfall, in case any decide to wander into Dale in their shifted forms."

Bard acknowledged this and replied in turn with a question. "And what will you shift into, so that we may find you if a problem arises."

"That's the thing Bard." She answered with a glint in her eye. "I'm a dragon."

Bards reaction was the funniest thing she had seen since they left Rivendel almost a full year ago.

 

* * *

 

 

Bilbo had moved into Bard's tent, the man offering the extra space to the hobbit. Tharwen sent two younger scouts to inform the rest of the Tharkens that they had permission to shift around the men, women and children of Lake Town and soon there were wolverines, wargs, lions, leopards roaming on the desolated ground surrounding the outskirts of Dale. In the skies, there were falcons, hawks, ravens and some smaller birds that she remembered were some of her friends from the March. A badger and raccoon wandered past her as she moved to a large clearing away of some off the other Tharkens, her sons and Thranduil following behind her.

She'd taken off her armour and slowly let her shift slip through the cracks, her skin stretching thing to accommodate her wings and bones shifting into just the skeleton of her shift's wings. One of the three last dragons of the the first Tharkeen ages. Her obsidian/purple wings outstretched and she gave them an experimental flap, rising off the ground easily. She lowered herself before giving one large, powerful flap with her wings and she was shooting off into the air, with only her wings shifted. 

Soon after, two other pairs of turquoise and aqua wings flapped and Rylen and Kyrin were in the air, chasing each other through it, spinning and avoiding collisions with their mother.

Down below, Thranduil watched as Tharwen soared in the air, flying in circles above him before tilting her wings to the side, floating downwards gracefully like a leaf in the wind. She reached the ground and held out her arms for Thranduil to hold onto her.

"Do you trust me?" She asked as he gripped her arms tightly. They hadn't done this for a long time, since Oropher had passed and Thranduil had become king. It felt familiar, Thranduils arm hooking around her shoulders out of the way for her wings and she gave two strong flaps, flying upwards at an incredible speed.

 

* * *

 

 

Up there it felt like the world slowed down as the first light snowflakes began to fall from the sky. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his, looking into his eyes lovingly. He gave he a soft, fond smile and pressed his lips against hers, his hand moving to cup her cheek and her arms hooked tight around his waist, their eyes both closing, letting the different sensations fall over them, feeling the snowflakes falling into their hair and brushing past her wings. The wind beneath their feet as Tharwens wings suspended them mid-kiss in mid air.

They stayed up there for a few more minutes, listening to the wind blowing around them, the steady beats from Tharwens wings and the 'thump' 'thump' of their heartbeats. Slowly Tharwen let the drop metre by metre until they were closer to the ground, dropping the last few feet and casually tucking her wings against her back, following Thranduil back to camp, spotting her sons still flying through the air.

"You don't want to tuck your wings back now do you." He asked when she shifted her weight from one foot to another. She tilted her head knowingly and looked towards the mountain. Thranduil slipped his hand into hers, their fingers interlocking and she looked down at them.

"Thrandy, I'm not ready for this." She whispered to him as they walked back to the camp hand in hand. "The Kiz'lan are in that army with the orcs." She melted into his side when he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer into his side as they were coming closer to their tent. When they reached the tent, Tharwen was the first to go in, pushing the flap aside as she ducked under the tent to move to their cot. 

They followed the same routine as the night before. Boots taken off and thrown too the opposite side of the tent, bulkier armour stripped off and left to the right side of their shared cot and Tharwen crawled into it, burying herself under the sheets and both Thranduils and her cloak. Thranduil lay beside her, leaving two candles on the small table in the tent lit after blowing out the lanterns, giving an orange glow to the inside of the tent.

"Good night Tharwen." Thranduil whispered too her as she snuggled into his side, willing herself to fall asleep to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of stone and snow crunching beneath boots woke both Thranduil and Tharwen halfway through the night. Tharwen reached for the daggers under her pillow which Thranduil rolled his eyes at, but he then reached for his sword as they both forwent boots and creeped outside their tent, weapons in hand, to see a cloaked figure move past the tent next to theirs.

Thranduil raised a finger to his lips then signed to her quickly. ' _I'll go around, you go their way.'_  He turned to go around the tent and she followed the figure carefully. The figure had dodged the patrol rotations easily, and to remain unseen, so did Tharwen. As soon as she spotted Thranduil in the corner, she lunged forward as Thranduil moved forward to stop the from running. She grabbed them from behind, twisting their arm up behind their back and automatically slamming them into the ground. The figure gave a low groan and the hood fell from their head revealing a familiar head of dark hair.

"Kili?" Tharwen voiced her surprise before immediately helping him up, feeling guilty for both the rough treatment and her actions from earlier in the day.

"Hi Tharwen." He groaned when his hand went to his elbow to gingerly press against the area where she had twisted back.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed quietly when the next patrol rotation moved past. "No one's allowed out after cerfew, that's why we have rotations." She grabbed his wrist tightly and pulled him back to her tent, Thranduil following next to her.

Back in the tent, Thranduil and Tharwen made themselves comfortable in their shared cot while Kili sat in a chair that was in the tent. The orange glow from the candles left one side of Kili's face dark as he began to tell them everything that had happened since they had left.

"Bilbo is banished from Erebor, and so are you Tharwen. I tried to stop him, I really did, but he wouldn't listen to me, he wouldn't listen to Dwalin either. Or Fili." He cried. Kili was desperate now. There were so many ways this battle could turn out. He just wanted it to end without anyone dying.

"You don't have too go back to the mountain tonight Kili." Thranduil said, catching the prince by surprise. "If you feel like you want too stay away fromt them, to clear your mind, I'm sure Legolas and Tauriel will be here soon from their own mission, they're journey only remains half a day, they will be here by noon, maybe before, you may stay with them." Thranduil offered. Kili's expression softened and he nodded.

"Thank you King Thranduil, I appreciate everything." He replied kindly. Tharwen smiled and pecked Thranduil on the cheek before standing. 

"I'll show you to their tent. I'll also tell the guards about you so no one decides to take you prisoner." She said as she led Kili out of the tent. On the way to what would be Legolas' and Tauriel's tent, she stopped a passing patrol, explaining Kili's status along with a quick summary of the circumstances that allowed him to be here, before sending them to find the other rotation. When they reached the tent, she set up an extra cot next too the other two in the tent. 

"Speak to a patrol if you need anything, and." She noticed he was still wearing his circlet. "Show them that if they question you." She nodded towards the circlet and he smiled.

"Thank you Tharwen." He smiled before turning to the cot. She took this as her signal to take her leave and she ducked out off the tent, and made her way back to their tent.

Thranduil had his eyes closed and he was lying in their cot when she ducked into their tent, but she could tell by the rhythm of his breathing, he still wasn't asleep.

"You know, after all this we could finally get married." She said as she slid under the sheets next to him.

He turned to her eyes still half closed. "We practically have been since we were little." He reminded her and she laughed at the reminder of their childhood.

"When I was twenty you told my father you were going to marry me and we were going to have beautiful children that would help us unite the Greenwood and the North Tharkeen." She laughed and he poked her forehead.

"Go to sleep Tharwen," He ordered jokingly and she laid back, feeling Thranduil swing his arm and leg over her to cuddle. She smiled and her eyes were closed, listening to the sound of the As-kharthi beginning their song outside in the dark.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time she woke up, she could hear socialising from the Men, Elves and Tharkens outside the tent and Thranduil had already left to deal with whatever business he had to deal with, and probably some of her business as well, knowing him. She left her armour off, stretching out her wings as far as they could go without damaging the tent before walking across the tent for her boots, pulling them on and then tucking her wings in to ducked out of the tent, the tips of her wings pushing the flaps away.

When she was out in the open, she extended her wings fully feeling the all too familiar stare of Dari's eyes behind her. 

"Still jealous Snow?" She mocked jokingly, smiling when he smiled in amusement.

"I think not Karewin." He let his fangs slip down over his bottom lip and he bared his teeth. It was then she noticed most of the THarkens had let some off their shifts slip through, she could make out extra limbs, tails, wings, fangs, ears and horns of each Tharkens respective shift and she grinned widely. Just like the old times.

The first thing she did, was made sure no one was treating Kili with disrespect or threatening him in anyway. When she arrived at the tent, she ducked in quietly, unsurprised to see Tauriel asleep in her respective cot. Legolas still looking like he was somewhat awake though in his, despite how tired he must have felt and he was facing Kili on his side. Kili was doing the same, laying on the side, tentatively making hand signals at Legolas, most likely to communicate without waking Tauriel up.

"Legolas, I hope you've managed to get some sleep at all since you arrived." She said softly, catching both his and Kili's attention. He sat up, wincing when he straightened his back and she moved quickly to his side. He lifted up his tunic to show her the damage done when he'd aparrently fell down a small mountain that he did not realize how close the edge was, on the way to the camp. He had small grazes on his back and side, where his old tunic had ripped and left him open to the rough surface of rocks. She tutted before running a hand over them gently. "Sunarorë Riìnaen Draconês" She muttered and her palm glowed over the grazes, healing them with ease.

The presence of magic made her wings, which wer tucked into her back twitch and catch Kili's attention. He stared, wide eyed in awe and she chuckled as Legolas followed the direction of his stare and smiled in recognition.

"I see my father finally convinced you to let your wings out after all these years." He said fondly and Tharwen nodded in response, keeping her attention on Kili.

"Do you like them?" She asked him, and he looked up at her with those wide brown eyes filled with adoration.

"They're beautiful, are they? How? Is this normal?" 

"They're normal Kili, Tharkens are shapeshifters remember, we have shifts that correspond with our respective bloodlines. Have you noticed the dragon on the sigil on my cloak?" She asked him and he nodded in response.

"My bloodline, my heirs, my brothers and sisters, and my One, all have the same shift as me, we all shift into dragons, well, Kyrin and Rylen have some canine attributes but that is because Dari's shift is a warg and he is their father." She explained.

"That's why you were outside when we found you after Smaug had broken through the main entrance. You fought him as a dragon, that's why Bilbo had the chance to grab the Arkenstone from the treasury to hide it." He realized.

She nodded again, before noticing the sunlight streaming through the gaps of the flasp in the tent was brighter and she realized she had to let Legolas catch up on the rest he'd missed.

"Kili see if you can help out the Elves and Men with anything, Legolas needs his rest." She looked at Legolas with a motherly expression. "Your father would be disappointed if you didn't rest, I would be too, but he hasn't seen that you are okay. I will make sure he stops by before nightfall. Or I will drag him here myself. Tell Tauriel when she awakes, that I would like to speak to her as well."

Legolas nodded and both she and Kili left the tent.

 

* * *

 

 

"Trust me Kili, Thranduil isn't that bad." She said, chuckling lightly. "He's just protective is all."

"As protective as Beorn is over his animals." Kili muttered in response.

"I know he can seem like an absolute twat at times and can be overbearing but he is honestly a good king Kili, have you seen it from his point of view?" She asked him as they walked past the rows of tents.

"Actually, no I haven't... Uncle Thorin used to say Thranduil ignored his cry for help when the dragon came."

"He is a King who brought an army to help your uncle and your grand father and your great grandfather, and when he arrived, he'd underestimated how much damaged that Smaug had done, the least he could to was help what remained of Dale's people and not lose his men. " She tried to explain it to him from Thranduil's point of view, but she had a feeling, Legolas or Thranduil himself could explain it better.

"But that doesn't excuse what he did." Kili argued and Tharwen sighed.

"He turned your uncles people away because the Greenwood was turing dark, there was barely enough food for themselves and they had to move underground Kili. There was no way Thranduil could house as many dwarves as the number that came to him asking for help." She answered back.

"Why couldn't you help? If you had been around as long as Thranduil, why didn't you provide any help?'

TIme for a geography and history lesson Kili. 

"Kili, Erebor is East of the Greenwood, East of Rivendell and East of the Shire which is the closest established settlement of any race despite my own. The North Tharkeen is in the  _North,_ too far for any aid to come to Erebor, we only had trades with Erebor that occured twice within each decade, there was no way we could have brought our armies to help King Thror fight Smaug, not before he would have destroyed his armies...." She trailed off with a sigh. "We wouldn't have been able to fight either," She continued before Kili could get a word in. "We had faced a war only recently, the same war that killed my father and my One, we didn't have the means or the man power neccessary to stage a full fleged assault against one of the last dragons in Middle Earth, even if he was the smallest. Our armies were devastated, there were so many dead to bury, so many things to be rebuilt."

Kili could see that she could remember everything that happened during that war and he felt slightly guilty for makng her bring it up to explain her actions.

"I'm sorry, I understand that your kingdom comes first." Kili said in an attempt to comfort her. She gave him a warm smile and she led Kili to a larger tent, that surprisingly, had all the armies commanders, basically Damien, Dari, Fharwen, two other wardens from the March whom she didn't know, Thranduil, Bard, Bilbo  _and_ Gandalf.

"Kili?" Bilbo and Gandalf asked, surprised to see Kili in the camp along the Elves, Tharkens and Men.

He gave them a small wave with his fingers and he took as seat beside Tharwen at the tables that had been pushed together to lay multiple maps across. They were discussing what to do with the surrounding land to prepare for the armies approaching.

 

* * *

 

 

"We should set up traps." Kili added to the conversation when Thranduil, Tharwen and Damien were arguing over whether to set an ambush on the west side of the mountain or traps to deal with the orcs and goblins arriving.

'But an ambush would prove better against their forces, we can lower their numbers before they even get close to the mountain." Damien argued and Tharwen swiped the back of his head before scolding him like a child.

"And lower our numbers by sending a large group to the east when they may not be attacking at all? Haven't you learnt anything Damien?" She asked him. He frowned sheepishly, then pretended not to have said anything.

"It is a definite that they will attack from directly ahead of the mountain." Gandalf added from behind the group of leaders. "So we should focus as many warriors as it is safe on that area. Some would still have too stay near the mountain and near Dale for as they would have to pass through Dale to get to the mountain." He reminded.

"We could always split the March and the Armsi into ranks. Send the youngests to Dale and some of the newer wardens to the mountain." Damien suggested and both Tharwen and Dari froze. 

"We aren't sending the yougests to Dale." "You're bloody mad, they aren't going to Dale." They both said at the same time angrily and Damien held his arms up in surrender.

"I know you don't want the boys to be alone but they're still Marchwardens, they earned those titles themselves. They can do this." Damien insisted and Dari pursed his lips.

"How about this, they go, and you go with them, if they come back with a single scratch and a single hair on their heads have been harmed.  _I. Will. Kill. You. Myself._ " Dari smiled sardonically and Tharwen nodded in agreement. 

"And once he's done, I'll bring you back, because no one, in the history of torture, has been tortured with the torture, you'll be tortured with."

"I understand, Eru, you are worse than my brothers with his daughters." Damien cried in surrender. "I'll guard them with my life."

There was a commotion coming from one side off the camp and Tharwen automatically reached for her sword, swiftyly swooping out of the stilled tent, making a beeline straight towards what looked like a sadistically vicious fight between two Tharkeens, who had shifted. The fight was surrounded by a group of all the races in the camp, most too afraid to get in between the fight, leaving them to tear at each other.

"Must I fix everything?" Tharwen wondered before letting herself shift and letting out a roar to break up the fight. "ENOUGH!" She roared, her wings flapping to get the rest of the camps attention. The Tharkeens broke apart and fell into position next too each other, the two culprits that started the fight broke apart an knelt before her in their shifts and she painfully transformed back, leving her wings and tail out.

"Explain, now!" She barked, her cold persona masking the irritation on her face as one of the Tharkens, the younger one by the looks of it, looked up at her, anxiously swallowing when he saw her look down at him.

"A-pologi-es, my queen." He stammered. "I r-reacted badly-" Tharwen raised her hand and interrupted him.

"I do not deserve this apology," She turned her head and looked at them both skeptically. She raised her head to catch eye contact with those in the crowd that gathered.

"We are about to fight a war, one that might cost us our lives, and yet we  _choose,_ to fight amongst each other like a pack of wolves running themselves ragged without rest, food or drink. What is wrong with us that we cannot stand united as an army? And as a kingdom?"

No one responded to her questions and she felt Thranduil move behind her, out of her line of sight.

"Can anyone, tell me what will happen if we do not stay united, if we do not have absolute trust, faith and peace? Between each other?" She glared over the crowd and slowly she saw a hand rise out of the corner of her eyes.

She turned and they answered her in a loud voice. "We lose the battle because we cannot protect each other, and we die for a lost cause." There stood Fili, proud like the heir he was and with him, Bofur, Nori and Ori, all looking worried yet relieved.

"That is correct." She turned back to the two main culprits. "Solve this, rationally, or you." She pointed to the youngest. "Will be sent to the mountain to keep a close eye on the remaining dwarves. "And you," She saw that the other boy was close to his friends age. "Will be sent to help those who cannot fight move to the saftey of Mirkwood with a few other Elves, I'm sure they would appreciate your help."

They both nodded fearfully and scampered away to the opposite sides of the camp and Tharwen sighed as she felt Thranduil place his hand on the small of her back.

"You did good." He complimented and she turned to help get the newest additions to their camp settled in.

"I suppose I could get a patrol to set up another tent, unless you all don't mind sharing with Kili, Legolas and Tauriel." She raised an eyebrow at them and they nodded reluctantly. "Good.' She nodded before turning to attend to other matters. "I'll come find you all later, get settled, it's almost time for the big speech."

 

* * *

 

 

The tents were empty, every being that was in the camp only hours before were now standing to attention, accompanied by the five dwarves and a hobbit. The Elves and Men stood with an eerie sense of silence and calm accompanied by the sounds of the screeching As-kharti, that had flown to the camp and gathered overhead like a dark cloud.

It had started to snow, only lightly but the air grew colder and the distant sound of marching could be heard by the elves and tharkens keen ears. The armies were in the distance. Now, they were at _war._


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say it's a battle that cannot be won without their queen.

In the distance it looked like a black cloud approaching, a storm following the wind as it blew towards them. There was a dark fog that settled around their feet that looked awfully familiar to Tharwen as she stood her ground ahead of the armies. They had seen a few from the ranks they'd sent out to stay in their respective positions, scouts bringing back reports to her and the rest of the leaders in the camp. They had their weapons drawn, waiting, and watching.

One of the scouts from the East had returned, the army had passed that way but did not even attempt to engage three decoy groups set up for an ambush, instead moving straight for the mountain, coming from the East side off the battle field.

"Order the troops to retreat slowly, keep watch if they plan to attack while we regroup." She told the scout and he quickly moved to his mounts, speeding off towards the East side of the mountain to regroup with the legion that awaited news from their queen.

“I need you too focus.” Fharwen said to her as she looked around for Thranduil. _The last time she went to a war, a war so big they’d had to send for help from the Elves, her father was cut down in frontof her as he was trying to defend her older brother, she’d then tried to find Dharwen, searching through the horrifying fray to catch a glimpse of him as he ran up the stairs towards one off the battlements and she followed him, to caught up in her worry to see how many of them he was actually chasing up those stairs, to see that they had planned the entire thing before hand, because they knew, Dharwen was reckless. She’d followed only to see him slaughter a majority of them and to watch him die in return trying to keep their attention off her. His plan failed anyway as that creature - that thing - that stalked towards her with a malicious smile twisting on it’s marred face, what was once flesh now black and ugly, now bound together by muscle and bone alone had waved only a dagger around and when she turned to run, there were four more blocking the exit._

 

_That was when she realized their plan. Kill those protecting the heir, kill the heirs, bring down the Tharkeen kingdom for good. She knew Dharwen wouldn’t have survived that, it was a killing blow. No heirs... Wrong, Kyrin and Rylen. If she survived, she would never have more children. Wrong, if they were to die, both the North Tharkeen and the Greenwood would unite, Legolas would be the heir to inherit her kingdom._

 

_She had become Queen in less than four hours into the battle, she would not let her reign be short._

 

_Dispatching the two that advanced towards her was swift and easy, her tail had uncurled and swept their feet out from beneath them and her sword found their throats with ease, but while she was occupied, the other two creatures had joined their leader and attempted to corner her, ready to carve out chunks of her flesh and gorge on it while they celebrated their victory over her fathers people..._ **_her people._ **

 

 

Distantly, she heard someone calling her name and she blinked, focusing on Thranduil’s face in front of her.

 

“Tharwen, Lath’rien?” He poked her cheek to get her attention and she scowled, surprising.

 

“Are you focusing? I don’t need you wandering off to your happy place before we fight them.” He searched her face worriedly, one hand coming up to cup her cheek. “You’re thinking of him again, aren’t you?”

 

She gave him a small nod and he touched their foreheads together, noses bumping against each other. “It’s going to happen all over again Thrandy.” She confessed and he gave her a sympathetic smile. 

 

“No it won’t, I promise.”

 

Her eyes glanced behind him at the oncoming army and he shook her slightly. 

 

“Not again, I swear.” His voice calmed her down and she nodded, this time, a determined look spread across her face.

 

* * *

 

 

The first move against them was a wave of arrows from over head, black shafted arrows that went over the traps they’d set ahead of them and the army raised their shields in response. Shouts of pain could be heard as some arrows found their mark, Tharkens, Men and Elves crying out as the arrows struck them in the shoulders and chests, some immediately moved behind the safety of their brothers in arms, hiding behind their shields as the yanked the arrow tips out of their flesh without a care. The first Tharkeen ranks stepped forward, nocking their arrows, raising their aim high above the apposing army and letting their arrows fly, firing wave after wave attack as they moved methodically.

 

“Move back!” She called out when she realized that the army was attempting to attack them from a far. “Draw them into the traps!” The armies marched back, still facing the oncoming orcs and Kiz’lan.

 

Suddenly, there was a loud crash, the sound of rock splitting in two, the sound of crunching bones and metal, screams as another boulder flew through the air and landed in the army. From behind them, they heard the sound of a war horn that reminded the dwarves among them of another time.

 

“Dwarves from the Iron Hills!” Nori shouted.

 

“Uncle Dain is here!” Kili yelled as he raced towards Tharwen, the traps were sprung, orcs caught in large barbed wires and spears that were flung as wires snapped impaled their victims, bathing the ground in blood.

 

Tharwen had already engaged the first group of orcs that had made it past the traps and had connected with her and the others, Thranduil was on the other side of the field, accepting the returning ranks from both Dale and the Eastern side of the mountain as they retreated and joined the attack against the armies. Through the fray, he could see Tharwen’s sons trying to get back to their mother, slicing and hacking through the crowd of orcs. Those other creatures, with fog appearing at their feet and their eyes glowing red seemed intent of separating the Tharkens from each other. The wormed their way through the orcs, drawing many from their ranks out away from their brothers and sisters before attacking them in their vulnerability as they separated. Slowly the Tharken army was spreading out across the ground and their defenses were falling, the Elves were trying to stop the orcs from getting through, but with the numbers of orcs increasing and the more spread out the members of the armies were it was harder to keep track of which orcs slipped past them.

 

Nori and Bofur had moved closer to Tharwens sons, aiming to herd them back to the group when it happened, at the same time Nori spotted an arrow whizzing through the air towards Kyrin, his brother did as well and Kyrin was immediately pushed out of the way of the oncoming arrow, a large, scaly wing moving to block the arrow, the simple metal tip ricocheting off the scales and onto the floor. One of his knives embedded itself in between the archers eyes and the twins began to fight their way through the fray back towards their mother.

 

Nori spotted more dwarves approaching from the mountain, clad in golden armour. Thorin and the others had come, swords, war hammers and battle axes raised high and battle cries falling from their lips. He pushed forward into the fray as others dodged arrows and arms, as well as spears thrown by the Tharkens flying through the air with deadly accuracy that scared him more than he’d like to admit.

 

He noticed something in the air, quickly glancing up to see some of the Tharkeen archers with wings outstretching from their backs in the air, bows in hand as they fired arrows from above.

 

“Nori! Get to the boys! Keep them away from the fog and lead them back to the mountain!” Tharwen yelled over the sound of breaking bones and she recoiled as a blade sliced her right shoulder. The fog that curled around their feet was becoming darker and she moved to cover an opening between two of her men, beheading an orc with a clean swoop of her blade.

 

He quickly moved to push through the orcs, easily stepping over the bodies that already covered the ground. They acknowledged him, moving in sync ducking beneath each others swings as if it was a dance. They were cutting down orcs and Kiz’lan left and right as the Tharkens were regrouping, protecting the younger ranks of their army.

 

Tharwen appeared by his side, _tail and wings_ , knocking against orcs and the wretched creatures following them, trying to get a grip on her sons.

 

* * *

 

 

 

They lost Kyrin in their haste to regroup behind the defensive archers. Tharwen had sent Rylen to search the air, his wings quickly flapping and still finding no sight of his brother even in his landing. Nori yanked on her arm to get her attention and she made a 180° spin to see Kyrin engaging with a familiar, heavily armored figure. He was handling the fight well, but she could see there was something wrong, the fog around his feet was curling up his legs and she froze for one second, immediately drawing her bow, nocking an arrow and firing it to gain the armored figures attention, it met her eyes with a sadistic familiarity and she shuddered before firing another arrow that it blocked.

 

°Kyrin, run!” She shouted at him and before she could move to cover him, the Kiz’lan raised it’s sword and moved to drive it into Kyrin back, time slowed down as a large black furred warg, larger than those that belonged to the orcs bowled Kyrin over, howling as the sword was driven into it’s side. Seemingly frustrated and confused that it did not hit it’s target, the Kiz’lan moved on from Dari, who was slowly transforming back, blood spilling from his sternum as he pulled out the sword that was embedded in his chest.

 

“ _Dari!_ ” Tharwen screamed and she rushed forward, sliding to her knees in orc guts and the filth of the blood covered ground staining her clothes and armour. The blonde smiled up at her from glassy eyes and she bit her lip shaking her head angrily.

 

She pulled his head into her lap, cradling him as the fighting went on around them. “Not again...” She whispered, stroking his cheek as he reached a hand up to cup the side of her face. “Don’t leave me too Dari, come on, please, you can make it.” His skin was already greying and Tharwen gripped the dagger on his belt, ripping her cloak and tying it tightly around his chest, manhandling him into position to staunch the bleeding wound.

 

He was breathing in quick, sharp breaths and his eyes were slowly drooping and Tharwen panicked. She held him tightly against her chest as the sound of familiar voices and shouts surrounding her became muffled and her eyes blurred.

 

“I’m alright, you’ll be fine.” Dari murmured to her, gripping her arm with whatever strength he had left in him. She shook her head trying to lift him as she saw the blurry shape of Thranduil kneel beside her, helping her gather him into his arms to carry him back too the mountain. They were surrounded by six of the company, Kyrin, Rylen and Fharwen as both she and Thranduil supported, basically carried Dari back to the mountain for safety.

 

“You’re not dying on me Dari.” Tharwen ordered as they reached the dwarves that were closer to the mountains gate, along with the Elvish healers who were inside, already tending to some of the wounded that were brought in earlier. They left Dari with the same healer that had looked after her when she was bitten by the spider in Mirkwood. Quickly, after assuring her that Dari was in good hands, the group rejoined the fighting outside, Tharwen scanning the fields for Thorin and Azog, keeping an eye out for the other dwarves in the company. Their group scattered and they rushed into the fray with anger in their eyes and their blows, decapitating, hacking off limbs slitting throats as they moved through the storm.

 

Tharwen spotted Thorin and Bard circling Azog, the man mimicking the dwarf’s movements around the pale orc as to split the orcs attention and she snuck up behind the orc, both Thorin and Bard spotting her and falling quickly into routine, knowing exactly what she was going to do. Drawing her bow, she gave a close aimed shot, but was knocked off balance, the arrow slicing through the pale orcs skin, only enough to cut the flesh on his arm not delivering the impairing blow she was aiming for. Azog turned in ager facing her with a slight disdain from being interrupted from playing with his ‘so called’ _toys._

 

He charged and she easily side stepped him, using his momentum to spin behind him and fire another arrow at his back, missing and she growled in frustration as Thorin and Bard joined her side. Thorin raised Orcrist and Tharwen handed Bard her bow and her arrows as his was embedded in an orc behind them.

 

“Narūm Sunarorë!” She ordered and her sword alit in flames in her hand. The flames were reflecting against the snow that began to fall and she growled as the cold stung the cuts and slashes on her skin. Her wings twitched and they spread out behind the trio, surprising both Thorin and Azog.

 

“Your wings will make a wonderful cloak and decoration when I cut them from your corpse shifter!” Azog growled, raising his clawed hand to point at her, quite comically as she thought about it, chuckling as the trio raised their weapons.

 

Although Bard and Thorin couldn’t see it, the weakness in her shoulder was glaringly obvious, where a sword had slashed her from the beginning of the battle had possibly severed a muscle, causing her right arm to twitch every time she raised it. She thanked Mahal she was left handed as she felt a searing pain in her shoulder when she raised her sword to intimidate Azog. It wasn’t the pain of a muscle or nerve tearing, but the familiar sting and burn of an arrowhead being embedded right to the very bone and she cried out as she turned, focusing her attention on the familiar but corrupted faces behind her. Younger members of the March and her army stood behind her with black fog swirling around their feet and she cringed. Not again, she was losing her people to them all over again. That was when she heard Thorin scream, saw Bard reaching out for her from the corner of her eye and she heard the sickening crack of bones as something smashed into her shoulder, narrowly missing Thorin’s face. Then everything faded to black.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell are you doing Lath’rien?” Thranduil exclaimed and reached out for her shoulder. A wing extended towards him, warning him away and she turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.
> 
> “I’m going to be there when he dies Thranduil.” She barked before making her way out of the tent. Thranduil followed her out of the tent and watched her as she forced herself over to the tents nearby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I've finally updated..... I'm so so so so so sorry guys I basically abandoned you for a year but as you can also see that I've extended it by two chapters because I'm a fucking douche and the fic isn't going the way I plan it no matter what and also cause I've been writing like 5 new fics that I have finally responsibly planned so that I won't leave you guys hanging if you decide to read those. I hope you enjoy it and you don't hate me anymore.  
> Love L.K

She tried to move her right arm, just to rest it comfortably on her chest when she felt it, the dead weight of something that definitely should have been mobile. She raised her head to see red splattered against the stark white of the bandages around her torso and midriff as well as her arm.

The red was standing out to her as she looked out towards what was probably healers and she tried movie her arm. Begging, pleading with the appendage to move, she couldn’t just lose it. Not like this, after she was knocked out during a battle and when she still had to rule and fight.

She had trouble focusing on the blurry shapes moving around her and their voices blending into each other as they spoke over her head. Spots that were cloudy her eyes cleared slightly as her eyes moved to the left, wincing as she noticed multiple bloody was cloths thrown onto what looked like a table next to her. Bits and pieces of what looked looked like debris, splinters of metal, arrow heads and what was possibly shattered bone fragments. The blurred figures became clearer as she looked back towards them, familiar heads of blond and brunet hair coming into focus, staring worriedly down at her.

“I’m not dead though, am I?” She asked trying to lighten the mood.

The remaining uninjured company gathered around her, frustration and worry evidently etched into their faces as they stared down to her, her words still hanging in the air. She huffed lightly and tried to sit up, pausing when she noticed a glare from Bilbo and Balin.

She leaned back down and smiled sheepishly, wincing as she raised her eyebrows in response to their glare.

“I don’t know what to say?” Bilbo tilted his head and broke the silence in her tent. Her sheepish smile slid off her face and the company parted to let Fili and Kili through, Kili being supported by crutches. She successfully sat up this time, shifting to let them both sit on the side of her cot.

“Are you all right?” Kili asked softly and she gripped his right hand with her left. She nods and he glanced at her right shoulder. She bit her lips and gave him an abashed smile before dropping his hand and lifting it up to press against the bandages that covered it.

“What happened?” She asked and Oin pushed to the front of the group and he answered her softly, as if they were expecting a reaction from her.

“Azog almost crushed your shoulder with his mace when you turned away, one of your muscles was ripped, but a few Elvish healers managed to stitch it up and get the approaching infection under control.” He said as he skirted around the cot and checked on the bandages. “You’ll be able to move it in half a day or so.” She nodded her thanks and turned to see Fili holding something in his hands.

“Uncle Thorin threw it off the battlements after you left with Bilbo... I ran out to get it after, but the sapphires cracked.” He said embarrassed and he held out the circlet that she had given him.

“I can always fix it Fili.” She focused on Kili’s leg. “What happened to you?” She asked concerned.

“It was crushed beneath a mace.” He lifted the cloth to show her the misshapen shape of the bone.

“Mahal Kili! How did you manage that!?” She exclaimed and there was a commotion at the front of her tent as she glared at Kili.

“Just like how you managed to get yourself into this mess.” Thranduil said to her as he moved into the tent with flourish, her brother trailing behind her. The dwarves, except Kili and Fili, moved to exit the tent and leaving them in an awkward silence.

“There’s bad news Lath’rien.” Tharwen knew that it was serious since Thranduil had said her second name. She pushed herself into a sitting position with her left and her tail, ignoring the pain from her shoulder and looking at Thranduil worriedly. “It’s Dari, Lath’rien... He won’t make it through the night, the orc that ran him through hit too many vital organs, there was nothing we could do except slow down the process of blood loss.” He tilted his head and leaned over her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“He’s going to die isn’t he?” She asked, eyes going glassy and she used tail to pull herself off the cot and the bones in her back shifted to accommodate her wings so that they stabilized her as she walked towards the tent.

“What the hell are you doing Lath’rien?” Thranduil exclaimed and reached out for her shoulder. A wing extended towards him, warning him away and she turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.

“I’m going to be there when he dies Thranduil.” She barked before making her way out of the tent. Thranduil followed her out of the tent and watched her as she forced herself over to the tents nearby.

 

* * *

 

She knelt next to Dari who was in a tent, three other injured guards from the March were sharing the tent with Dari, their injuries not as severe as they watched with miserable expressions plastered on their faces.

“Don’t you die on me you asshole. They need their father. They need someone there for them, I can’t raise them without you Dari! You can’t die. Not now, not after Dharwen...”

“I’m not gone yet, don’t try and resurrect my body once I’m dead so you can kill me.” He croaked, looking up at her from his cot, his entire torso covered in blood soaked bandages where the sword had been ran through his chest by the orc when he was shifted. He had one hand resting on his stomach, palm faced up, fingers wrapping around Tharwen’s right wrist as she sat next to him, leaning down to lay her head next to his, her left hand running through his hair gently.

“I don’t want to go.” He whispered to her and a choked sob escaped her throat.

“I don’t want you to go.” She frowned, pressing her forehead into his shoulder and sobbing. Her crying was muffled by the sheets on the cot and the bandages and through the sounds of her sobs she heard his breathing grow labored and her head shot up.

“Dari! No!” She wrapped her left arm around him, tail and wings moving to curl around him as well, holding him as he began whispering to her.

“You did so well Tharwen, so perfect, you raised two beautiful children when you were at the March.”

“No you can’t leave me... you’re not allowed to leave me you asshole!” She argued through tears.

“You’re gonna be a great queen sweetheart, they raised you right. You raised them right. You got Thranduil.” He coughed and blood dribbled down his chin, staining his teeth.

“You have no damn right to leave me alone, I can’t raise them alone, Kyrin and Rylen need you, I need you!” She screamed as he choked up more blood and he burst into a coughing fit. Healers had come into the tent but didn’t move to separate her from him. Thranduil stood, frozen at the entrance, watching as Tharwen pressed a chaste kiss to Dari’s cheek.

“Tharwen.” Dari smiled before moving his hand to her face slowly, his arm falling limply by his side.

“I need you, don’t leave me.”

The guards in the tent placed their hands, closed into fists over their chests, dejected silence falling over them all as she curled around Dari, her hair falling over his face as she pressed her forehead to his and sobbed, her shoulders shaking as she leaned over him.

* * *

 

_“Tell me that you’re totally okay with this.” Dari whispered, pulling her behind the stairs of the Marchwardens dorm building._

_“I’m okay with this, I want this, I promise.” She laughed, wrapping her arms around his waist and spinning him around to push him against the wall._

 

* * *

 

_“They’re mine aren’t they?” He asked her, lifting her hand to her lips and kissing her knuckles softly. She giggled and leaned into his touch._

_“Are they boys or girls?” He asked, pressing kisses down her neck._

_“Twin boys Dari.” She smiled up at him, tilting her head back to press her lips to his._

* * *

 

_“They can’t stay here can they?” The answer was glaringly obvious to both of them, their twins were going to have to go back to the castle with her._

_“I’m so sorry Dari, we should’ve known, I was going to have to go back sooner.”_

_“I know, I just hope that you don’t regret this. I know I don’t.” He lifted Kyrin from his cot as he started squirming and she smiled at him._

* * *

 

  
“Tharwen, you can’t stay like that.” Thranduil said to her and she growled from her cot, arms and wings curled around herself.

“I can and I will.” She sulked and Thranduil frowned.

“I know you miss him, but you have to get up, think of Damien, think of Fharwen, Kyrin and Rylen. Think of your family!” She flinched but sat up anyway, batting his hand away from her.

She regained movement in her right arm the morning after Dari passed. They built him a funeral pyre, and gave his circlets to the twins, and Dari’s spear had been given to her. Damien was still recovering from a leg injury, while the worst of the injuries among the company of dwarves were belonging to Thorin, whose arm gained more scars from Azog’s mace as well as is chest and face. She still had yet to face Thorin and some of the others, she still had to have her coronation with Fharwen, Thorin’s coronation would have to be held at the same time, it would save them so much preparation and time and it would benefit not to have too many celebrations after such a battle.

“What are the casualties?” She asked him.

He stayed silent, unwilling to inform her of the deaths of the many March members that the Kiz’lan had controlled. Hundreds of young children who came and fought, twisted from their morals to fight against the one that instructed them when they arrived.

“They didn’t make it did they?” She mused dejected.

“We had no choice but to execute them, they would have corrupted others... It wasn’t your fault that they were taken.” He promised her.

“It was, because I couldn’t lead them. What queen loses consciousness during a battle where she could lose everything? I couldn’t keep everyone safe and as a result I lost Dari, Thranduil, I lost the father of my children, the man who became my everything at the March, and he’s gone, I thought- I just.” She trailed off

“You are, a brilliant queen, you’re strong, thoughtful, caring, and you are firm when you need to be, understand when I say I’m proud of you meleth.” He whispered to her. “Lath’rien, Tharwen, I wanted to do this before, but since we were children, I was in love with you, I want you too be in my life forever more, I want you to be by my side and to be a mother to Legolas that you already are. I want to wake up to you every morning and be seated side by side on our thrones. So, what do you say, will you marry me?”

 “Oh Mahal, Thranduil.”

“You don’t have to say yes, not yet, but I love you and I want you for forever.”

He lifted her hand gently and pressed a kiss to her knuckles politely before getting on one knee, holding out a circlet and a beautiful ring with opals and a mithril lining. “Since I knew we would be making our way to Erebor, I commissioned it to be finished before you left for Esgaroth. I love you.”

“I loved you with all I have.” She promised and she tilted her head smiling down at Thranduil. “And of course I’ll marry you.”

 


	24. Chapter 24

At least she was well enough to move around the mountain, that was if she left her tail and wings out for balance and support. At the very moment, she was making her way to where Thorin’s tents supposedly was, after Balin had found her and told her that Thorin had wanted to speak to her personally. Judging by the guards at the entrance, including Dwalin, it obviously was.

Dwalin gave her a small nod as she pushed through the flaps into the tent, tail and wings dragging behind her, folding as to not take up space. She had her eyes trained on Thorin, sitting upright in his cot with bandages around his entire right side of his body, he was conscious, and looking at his fingers, crooking them and twisting his wrist around as if he was trying to figure out how to move his hand.

“Thorin?” She said softly, trying to not startle the king.

“Tharwen, _urzdel_.” He looked up from his hand to her and he motioned to the chair next to his cot.

“I was wondering how you fared after the battle.” He told her and she gave a small nod.

“I am fine, they sewn up my shoulder and there wasn’t any long lasting recent damage. Dari didn’t make it through last night.” She bit her lip and he reached out his hand to comfort her.

“I wish to apologize Tharwen, I was blinded for by my greed for gold and I did not see what I was doing to you and the others.” He sounded so solemn.

“We do things when our minds are not with us Thorin, I cannot speak for the others, but I forgive you.” She answered. “And I also come to ask for your permission, for two things...” She hesitated to ask the question, catching Thorin’s interest.

“What would you like to ask?”

“I would like to have my coronation here in Erebor as the Queen of the North Tharkeen, and I would like to ask if you” She took a deep breath before continuing “ ... would be a witness to my marriage with King Thranduil.”

“ _Tharwen...”_  Thorin breathed, pained and she inched back. “He was the reason you would not except my love in Mirkwood.” He said in realization and surprisingly there was no sense of anger on his face.

“I’m so sorry Thorin, you have become a dear friend on this quest, but I cannot love you as I love him.” She tried to explain but he raised a hand and silenced her.

“It is alright, I understand, that you have known him for a long time, Kili and Fili have told me how he behaves around you, how he has offered them his kindness, and I see that you both belong with each other.” Thorin held her hand gently. “It would be an honour to witness the wedding.” He gave her a kind smile and she felt at ease once more.

“If you would not object, there is another thing I would like to ask... Do we have permission to have the wedding here?” Thorin’s face brightened and he nodded enthusiastically.

“As I said, it would be an honour!”

“Thank you Thorin, it means the world to me, it really does.” She gave him another smile and stood. She moved to leave the tent, as she reach he flaps covering the entrance Thorin called her name.

“Tharwen! My sister is coming from the Blue Mountains, I would have you greet her along with Fili and Kili?”

“It would be my pleasure.” She responded, before pushing out of the tent.

 

* * *

 

Oin came to her with frustrating news. Kili’s leg had gained an infection and Fili... Fili had hid a festering wound from Oin and the infection that had made itself a home was making his back weak. He could hardly sit up straight, let alone walk.

“You absolute dolts!” Tharwen shouted, pushing past the guards outside their tent. Kili sat up, his leg wrapped in stark white bandages bloody rags tossed under both his and his brothers cots. Fili lay on his stomach, absent his tunic, with an Tauriel tending to the infected wound. He was wincing in pain, biting his lip to stop his groans.

Tauriel looked up from Fili’s back with a knowing glance as Tharwen’s tail swept across the ground, narrowly avoiding the poles holding up the tent. She made her way between the two cots, kneeling down next to them. Tauriel helped Fili sit up so she could wrap his chest, Fili gave her a sheepish glance and she glared at him.

“If you had died, because of that injury-” She took a sharp breath, leaning forward, cupping Fili’s face with one hand, the other coming up to his neck. “I would have lost a piece of my soul, you both, mean so much... I did not want you out in that battle, you are like my brothers, _nâdadel,_ to lose you would be to lose the stars in the sky and the rivers that run through the earth, my brothers, there is nothing I could not have done for you if you had not lived.” She touched her forehead to his. “Can you understand what I am saying, if you had died, _kidhuzel, nâdadel, kidhuzel?”_ She was openly sobbing, holding onto him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Did I ever tell you what Darien looked like?” She asked pulling away from Fili, still holding onto the side of his cot, tears still running down her face.

Both of them shook their heads in response and she scrubbed her face clear of tears. 

“He looked nothing like my father, no resemblance whatsoever in appearance, he had hair as light as the suns, that shone like molten gold in front of the fire, and deep blue eyes that glittered in starlight, he looked like you Fili.” She gave him a forced smile. “Braids that fell all the way to his waist, he managed to grow a beard, before it got in the way of his bow, and he cut it all off, he wore clothes that made his hair and eyes stand out, and his expressions, I see them in you...” She looked from Fili to Kili. “In both of you, and finding out, _you,_ hid your injuries, and you had stood up to Thorin, that you both, reminded me so much of him.”

 

* * *

 

If Kili had lost his brother, he knew he would not fare any better than Tharwen, and to see her, so distraught over Fili hiding his injury ... made his heart ache. He wasn’t even jealous that she was clinging to Fili instead of himself, all he could see was her pain, seeping out through the sobs.

_“Did I ever tell you what Darien looked like?”_ Darien was Tharwens youngest brother if he remembered correctly, the younger brother that she lost, that had died in front of her.

“ _He looked nothing like my father, no resemblance whatsoever in appearance, he had hair as light as the sun, that shone like molten gold in front of the fire, and deep blue eyes that glittered in starlight, he looked like you Fili._ ” Kili felt his heart break slightly, seeing a vision of what he might have looked like, Fili, with a taller and slimmer build, “ _Braids that fell all the way to his waist, he managed to grow a beard, before it got in the way of his bow, and he cut it all off, he wore clothes that made his hair and eyes stand out_.” Carrying a bow and without his beard, smooth, fair skin and his usual braided hair, lengthened to his waist. Kili could see the man standing in place of his brother, Tharwen’s brother, could see the righteousness in his eyes, the loyalty and honour. “ _his expressions, I see them in you... in both of you, and finding out, you, hid your injuries, and you had stood up to Thorin, that you both, reminded me so much of him.”_ And Fili’s reckless grin plastered on his face, waving to him.

 

* * *

 

Kili and Fili were still bedridden, and yet, still on the mend, Tauriel was the firm hand that stayed their hands and kept them in their beds when Tharwen was not there. Tharwen now, was making her way to Thorin’s tent, praying to all of the Valar that Thorin’s conditions have not worsened since she had last visited.

“I would have us be friends once more, Master Burglar.” She heard Thorin’s voice float from his cot. Bilbo knelt next to him, hands clasped over his chest. “I would have you stay here, in Erebor, with our company, if you wish.” She gave a small smile to Balin, who was standing nearby the tents entrance. 

“At least Thorin didn’t hide any injuries, Mahal knows what would’ve happened if he pulled the same stunt Fili did.” Balin said, trying to cheer her up.

She rolled her eyes. “I was told they found Thorin on the verge of death, they found Kili, his leg crushed and his chest impaled, and Fili was stabbed in the back by Azog himself and thrown off the ruins of the cities near the ice... Balin.” She said pained, before kneeling before the dwarf, fist over her heart. “I owe you so much.”

“It was not I who found them lassie, Dwalin found Fili, Tauriel found Kili and Bilbo,” He nodded to the hobbit who was now standing at Thorin’s side. “Found Thorin on the ice. Now stand up.”

“They could have died Balin. Fili had a damn wound in his back!” She stood, straightening her back.

“But they didn’t and they are recovering.” He reminded her.

“Yes, yes I know, _I know.”_ Her eyes wandered over to Thorin, then to the general direction of Kili and Fili’s tents, through the tent fabric. “I know that and it makes each passing day scarier for me, whether I’ll wake up to someone telling me they’re gone or not and knowing that I could have helped them.”

“I think we all fear for them lass.” He said looking up at her as they both inched towards Thorin in his cot as Bilbo had turned, noticing them behind him, and he smiled down at Thorin, before nodding at both of them and taking his leave.

Thorin looked better. Colour filled his cheeks, and he had a smile on his face as he looked at them from his cot. 

“Dwalin tells me my nephews injuries have worsened, and that Fili hid an injury from the healers.” He said, eyes sliding to Tharwen. The Tharken met his expression before nodding, she knelt next to his cot. 

“They will recover, if they sit still and not pull their stitches out.” She answered him and adjusted the bandages around his chest, lifting a clean cloth from a side table that was littered with cups of salve and tea, she wiped away some dried blood, tightening the bandage. When the bandage was in place, she rested her hand just above the bandage, looking down on the blood that seeped into the fabric, thumb brushing over it lightly. 

“You could have died Thorin.” Something weighed on the trio in the tent, and Tharwen spoke softly into the silence. “The hundreds of casualties in this battle and you could have been one of them, your boys, this company, could have been one of them.” She glanced at Balin and the old dwarf nodded in understanding. He left the tent and she looked at him.

“I know... that dwarrows have their concepts of their ‘Ones’ and that even though... I cannot return your love in the same way, I.. It would be the highest of honours to call you and your nephews my shield brothers.” Thorin’s eyes widened and he rushed to sit up, grasping her hand that was on his chest tightly.

“Tharwen, you do realize that is-!” He gasped and she nodded, cutting off his reaction and she smiled kindly at him.

“Yes, I do, you and your nephews have earned it, the entire company has, and if I could give the honour to each and everyone of them I would.”

Thorin had a smile plastered on his face, teeth showing and his eyes shining as he looked up at her. He held her hand tightly and she squeezed it, eyes shining with mirth.

 

 


End file.
